"Judgemental Prick" Is Not A Good Look
Especially Not In A Post-Roe v Wade World
The days since Roe v Wade was repealed have seen a lot of people come out strongly with whichever side of history they're on.
For many, this has included sharing stories of their own abortions, whether of a wanted child who proved non-viable (if your body doesn't expel a miscarriage, the procedure to removed the dead fetus is considered an abortion), the product of rape or stealthing, parents who already had children and this failure of birth control/unplanned pregnancy was one too many, or simply the acknowledgement that the speaker was not ready to be a parent.
It's the last one that tends to get the most push-back from people who seem to think that nothing is more important than to punish women for having sex.
"She should have lived with the consequences of her actions!" they scream, as if pregnancy isn't a major commitment that impacts every aspect of a woman's life. As if even a complication-free pregnancy doesn't cost tens of thousands of dollars in the US Healthcare system. "How could she murder her innocent baby?"
For the moment, we'll leave aside that the vast majority of abortions are performed before the fetus is distinguishable from a particularly heavy period. Heck, some months I'd be forgiven for thinking that my uterine lining clumps were big enough to be a fetus, if humans were capable of Asexual Reproduction.
Here's the thing: Pregnancy and Parenthood should NEVER be a punishment.
Not if she was drunk, not if they had unprotected sex, not if their birth control failed.
Parenthood is a major step and a life-long commitment. It's hard, you don't get days off like you do in other roles, it's unpaid, and it has to be your priority 24/7. If the parents aren't committed 110% to being parents, then they shouldn't have kids.
If every pregnancy was a wanted pregnancy by parents willing to put in the time and effort, the Foster System wouldn't have over four hundred thousand kids looking for a permanent home or waiting to age out of the system, knowing that they're "un-adoptable" due to age, trauma, or disability. Rates of abuse and neglect and familial homicide would be a lot lower than they are. Heck, rates of poverty would probably be lower, if people were able to follow their dreams and goals until they wanted to start a family, instead of being forced to drop out of school or a demanding job to care for a child they didn't want or weren't ready for.
The thing is: it doesn't matter why any woman seeks to terminate her pregnancy.
Young, old, at risk, easy pregnancy, rich, poor, supportive partner, or forced to go it alone. It doesn't matter if she was abused, or is trying to escape an abusive partner. It doesn't matter if this was a wanted pregnancy that she has no choice but to abort.
(Well, it does, but only in the sense that we should be showing compassion for these people, not making their lives harder during what is already a difficult time…)
Someone else's abortion is, medically speaking, none of your business.
No-one asked for your opinion, and you holding up a sign while screaming hatred and abuse is not going to encourage anyone to come talk to you about other options.
The only thing you accomplish by scorning women who had an abortion, or are honest in saying that they would get one if they became pregnant, is coming off as a misogynistic jackass.
That's not a good look at any point in history, but especially not now, when the Supreme Court has effectively declared that a living woman has fewer rights than a corpse in more than half of the United States.
You can't force a person to donate blood, organs or bone marrow. Not even if they're the only possible doner and the patient will die without it. You can't take viable organs from someone who has died, unless they willingly signed a piece of paper prior to death giving consent as an Organ Donor. No matter how long the wait-list for organ transplants is.
No-one should be forced to remain pregnant without their willing and enthusiastic consent, either.
Donate to help women who desperately need it at the link above, or buy me a coffee at https://ko-fi.com/natasjarose
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