Canadian?

Today is Canada Day. In years past, this might have been a day of happiness and pride for most of us. But today my heart hurts.

I don't know what to say about the 1148 (plus) dead children that have been found at the Residence Schools of St Eugene’s Mission (Near the city of Cranbrook, British Columbia.) Marieval Indian Residential School (Just outside Regina, Saskatchewan ), and The Kamloops Indian Residential School (Kamloops, BC).

Sitting here, tears in the corner of my eyes, trying to figure out what to write for these children that have been forgotten and buried, and for these First Nations people that have lost so much at the hands of White Colonizers (or even if I have the right to write this)... I struggle to find words for them, not because I don't have the vocabulary or the writing ability. It's because don't have the knowledge or experience of what it feels like to have your child taken away, never to be seen again; or the experience of my culture and land being destroyed and taken from me and my people.

I am a person of European Ancestry and considered Canadian, but this land has and never been my people's land. My people stole this land from its owners, then proceeded to kill them; and when killing them became "unacceptable" in "modern" society. They decided to use the Catholic Church and our National Police Force to abduct children from their parents, put them in Residential Schools, kill their language, and destroy their culture. All in the name of "civilizing savages". However, I feel the need to write something about it today... I just don't know where to start.

I grew up in New Brunswick, the adolescent and teenage years of my life were spent going to schools with First Nation's Students. However, "White Kids and Native Kids" routinely stayed apart.

White kids were told by other White kids that the "Natives" were drunks, "Natives" were poor, and that "Natives" were violent and hateful towards Whites.

I can't remember how many times my friends and I steered clear of walking on or near the Reservation at the end of town because we were told that Whites weren't allowed there and we would have our "Asses Kicked" by "Native" kids if we did.

Mind you, this wasn't in some far of land or time. This was in 97'- 99' and throughout the early 2000s when I went to Middle and High School. 20 years ago now -the last of the Canadian Residential Schools, Gordon Indian Residential School in Saskatchewan closed its doors in 1996-.

I was in Grade 5 in 1996. Where were you in 96? Where were some First Nation families' children in 96? Missing? Placed in homes that weren't their own? I was living with my Mother, my Father, and my two brothers in 96. How many First Nations people can say the same?

I write this not knowing how it will be perceived, how I will end this piece, or the feelings it will bring to the surface of those of you that read it. I can only hope that my words will do something to enact change in someone or help break the stigma and taboo around this dark chapter in my countries history.

My experience with this is limited to what I've looked up myself, and the stories I've listened to Residential School Survivors tell me. I was not taught a lot about Residential Schools in my education.

What I can tell you is that we touched on Residential Schools, but we were taught so little about them. I think this may have been because it was still considered so taboo in the late '90s and early '00s and the Canadian Government was actively trying to keep this hidden from its younger generation. So it was stricken from the curriculum.

Even later in my High School Career, when I took a course based solely on Canadian History, I was taught very little about Residential Schools.

I couldn't tell you what I learned from my history classes in school versus what I learned myself through reading and the internet later in life, short of the knowledge that they had existed and that they were run by the Catholic Church. I was never taught how kids got there, what happened within those walls, and what those schools were trying to do to the First Nations people of my country. I urge you all to read up on this stuff for yourself, I can only give basic information.

For those of you who don't know about this, the foundations for Residential Schooling started in the 1800s with our first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald. He was one of the men that help found my country, but he was also one of the people that single-handedly put into motion some of the most damaging and far-reaching policies involving Canada's First Nations population.

“I have reason to believe that the agents as a whole … are doing all they can, by refusing food until the Indians are on the verge of starvation, to reduce the expense,” Macdonald told the House of Commons in 1882.

This comment is marked as one of the worst comments about First Nations people in the history of my country, followed by the opposition leader, Alexander Mackenzie (Another Prime Minister of my country), screaming that Prime Minister Macdonald wasn't doing enough to starve the "Indians" out.

These comments are in reference to the railroad that Macdonald was trying to push through what was considered autonomous Indigenous lands. At this point in Canadian History, the Bison had been all but completely eradicated by the overhunting of European colonizers.

Bison was the primary food source for some of the Nomadic Tribes in the prairies. There were stories told by travelers of First Nations people forced to eat grass or fields of people unable to move or walk due to starvation.

The only lifeline these people had was the Canadian Government which was obligated, mind you, to distribute food to them. But decided to withhold this aid to force self-sufficient Indigenous Peoples, on to government-controlled "Reserves" (Which is where a lot of Canada's First Nations people live nowadays.)

We move forward a few years, and in 1876 the "Indian Act" was passed, allowing the Canadian Government to control Reserve land and "Indian" affairs. This was the start of the Residential School era.

Now, I must confess, there is far more history to all this. I have only scratched the surface. However, for the purpose of this piece, I will move forward in time.

Let's move ahead to what is called "The 60s Scoop".

The '60s scoop refers to a time between 1961 and 1981 when the "Indian Act" was the most abused by the Canadian Government.

Before I go on, I would like to point out that the Residential School system for First Nations people had been around since the 1800s and Indigenous Children had been removed from their families regularly between then and 1961.

1961 to 1981 marked a massive increase in the abduction of newborn children from Reserve families by governmental and religious bodies. This was done in the name of God and with the ultimate goal of "civilizing" First Nation peoples.

Thanks to the "Indian Act" giving the Canadian Government control of the Social and Welfare system of First Nations Reserves, they were able to go in and take kids for whatever reason they deemed appropriate without any input from Band Leaders or the Parents of the abducted whatsoever and that's what they did.

Between 1961 and 1981 Newborns were targeted for removal by the Canadian Government and essentially,"sold", to European Descendants through the Foster Care system of the time. There were literal newspaper ads for stolen children to be adopted. Such as these ones.

Those who weren't adopted by White families were shoved into Residential Schools, where they were treated like animals. Names, clothes, culture, language, all to be taken away so they could "assimilate into white culture."

I really don't have words to describe their stories. I would rather those who suffered this injustice speak for themselves. These are pulled quotes from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission's report, I think you will find they describe this tragedy in words I can't:

“Too many Canadians know little or nothing about the deep historical roots of these conflicts. This lack of knowledge has serious consequences for First Nations, Inuit and Metis peoples and for Canada.”

“From 1958, when it first opened, until 1979, there was never a year in which Grollier Hall in Inuvik did not employ at least one dormitory supervisor who would later be convicted for sexually abusing students.”

“Indian Affairs officials often tried to portray these rates (of death) as simply the price that Aboriginal people had to pay as part of the process of becoming civilized. In reality, these rates were the price they paid for being colonized.”

“There was no effort to record the number of students who died. It will be critical for the National Centre for Truth and Reconciliation to obtain all records related to the deaths of residential school students.”

“I wanted to be white so bad, and the worst thing I ever did was I was ashamed of my mother, that honourable woman, because she couldn’t speak English.” Agnes Mills, a former student at All Saints residential school in Saskatchewan.

“...And I looked at my dad, I looked at my mom, I looked at my dad again. You know what? I hated them. I just absolutely hated my own parents. Not because I thought they abandoned me; I hated their brown faces. I hated them because they were Indians.” Mary Courchene, formerly a student at the residential schools at Fort Alexander in Manitoba and Lebret in Saskatchewan.

“Those schools were a war on Aboriginal children, and they took away our identity. First of all, they gave us numbers, we had no names, we were numbers, and they cut our hair. They took away our clothes, and gave us clothes … we all looked alike.” Doris Young, who attended the Elkhorn residential school in Manitoba.

“The legacy of the schools remains. The health of generations of aboriginal children was undermined by inadequate diets, poor sanitation, overcrowded conditions, and a failure to address the tuberculosis crisis. Research in Alberta indicated that 78 percent of children who have died in foster care between 1999 and mid-2013 were aboriginal.”

Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, in 1883: “When the school is on the reserve the child lives with its parents, who are savages; he is surrounded by savages. Indian children should be withdrawn as much as possible from the parental influence.”

Canada’s deputy minister of Indian Affairs Duncan Campbell Scott in 1920: “Our objective is to continue until there is not a single Indian in Canada that has not been absorbed into the body politic.”

J.E. Andrews, principal of the Presbyterian school in Kenora, in 1953: “We must face realistically the fact that the only hope for the Canadian Indian is eventual assimilation into the white race.”

When you read through this, and you look at these images, please remember just how much work was put into the killing of Indigenous Culture, and over many years this genocide of peoples was undertaken.

I've been lucky enough to have had the privilege to sit in a room within a circle of Residential School Survivors. I got to listen to them tell stories about their time within these horrid, nightmarish places.

I heard stories about children being put into a basement and chained up within small cages without food as punishment for speaking their language; and I heard the story of one girl who actually passed away in one of those cells because of that.

I heard stories of horrible mistreatment and abuses suffered by Residential School kids. Stuff like horrible sexual abuses, and the binding of left hands until they were almost black and dead because the Nuns wanted children to write with the Right. The Left hand was considered the Devil's hand.

I heard these people tell me things that, me as an ex-soldier, would liken to torture and genocide. All of these terrible things that were done to Residential School children were done by people my country considers to be God's Messengers.

These actions were taken by people who are supposed to stand for peace, love, justice, and administer Law. This was done to our First Nations sisters and brothers by a group of elected officials that were supposed to be standing up for all Canadian Rights and Freedoms. All these people called themselves Canadian's...

Today I question what it means to me to be a Canadian. What happened to those children isn't what I believe Canada to be, but, it was and is. The way our Government deals with Indigenous people's rights, and how it's handled "Truth and Reconciliation" up to this point is a far sight short of what it means for me to be Canadian.

We as Canadians, (what I hope are Canadian Values, anyway) are supposed to care for one another, stand up for each other's rights, argue and fight with each other on issues that affect everyone in this country.

We aren't supposed to stand idly by while our First Nation sisters and brothers continue to suffer the injustices wrought upon them by the Governments of present and past in this country.

Now is their time to be heard, for them to speak up and be listened to. Now is our time to stand, hand in hand, and side by side, helping their voices to be heard.

Due to my cities restrictions on gatherings, I can't be out there hand in hand, and that's fine. It is for the safety of others who live around me. But that doesn't mean I am powerless to help, which is ultimately why I write this.

This is my contribution on this Canada Day to help these people have a voice. Instead of celebration, I mourn for the loss Indigenous people have suffered at the hands of colonization.

I will continue to push forward with my Indigenous sisters and brothers and help them in any way I can to receive the Justice their people deserve. I hope others reading this will do or have done, something to help as well. The voices of the many are louder than the voices of a few.

In your celebrations of our country tonight, remember those lives lost and ruined due to the miss-steps of our forefathers. We can't move forward as a people until everyone is treated equally.