Pandemic PSA

Let’s face it - 2020 was rough. In the US alone, mass unemployment stripped millions of financial security, racial tensions reached a (long overdue) boiling point, bipartisan fighting and a historic election threatened the values of our democracy, and everything was underscored by a pandemic that cost people around the globe their lives, livelihoods, and ways of life.

Looking beyond the US, the picture wasn’t any prettier. Australia burned, China took “wolf warrior diplomacy” to disturbing levels with India, Taiwan, and Hong Kong, and the US almost provoked Iran to start a war that nobody would have won.

Even without Covid-19, 2020 would have probably gone down as one of the more onerous years in recent history. The fact that everything was happening in the midst of the most deadly pandemic since 1918 (not including HIV) means that many people experienced environmental stressors at a new level last year. The problem - most people couldn’t turn to their normal coping strategies.

The American Psychological Association defines coping as “The use of cognitive and behavioral strategies to manage the demands of a [stressful] situation”. UCLA further characterizes coping as active or avoidant - either you’re taking actions to address the cause of your stress, controlling your emotional reaction to it, distracting yourself from it, or ignoring it. For many people, working out is their stress relief. For many others, it’s companionship. My unique flavor of coping is a blend of creation and escapism via books, video games, and social media.

While I was one of the lucky few whose stress-management techniques largely remained unlimited, covid made many other activities inconvenient if not outright impossible. Things we used to take for granted like family gatherings, church services, group sports, shopping (AKA retail therapy), and many others were profoundly changed. People were left up shit’s creek without a paddle to navigate the “new normal”, and they had to find all-new coping mechanisms to do it.

Society itself has undergone its own adaptive transformation. Winston Churchill once said, “Never waste a good crisis”; and the ashes of our former lives left fertile soil that many companies, artists, celebrities, politicians, and movements used to sow the seeds of the trends that would eventually encompass 2020.

These covid-approved coping mechanisms offered catharsis from some of the most unusual places - like baby Yoda, odd fashion choices and accessories, and Alexander Hamilton to name a few. The rise of Disney + and the renaissance of TikTok were two notable blooms from that fecund soil, but not every seed grew into a flower. The weeds of misinformation and divisiveness also took advantage of the crisis at hand, and many such trends became new or more potent sources of environmental stress.

So with the conversation framed around our ability to cope with the extraordinary stressors of the times, what would I like to see go out of style from 2020? No matter what clothes and accessories you wear on your body - putting yourself down is never a good look. If you have self-love, self-confidence, and a positive internal dialogue, your outward appearance is going to reflect it. Even if you’re wearing your shoes tied over your pants.

Everyone has had to scramble to cover their mental health and cope with this year, and it looks different on each person. Suzie in your class channeled her creative energy and started up an Etsy store? Great for her. Adam at your work learned French? Très bien. Jessica got a kayak and posts photos on the water everyday? Cool. Cool cool cool. You only managed to finish 16 seasons of NCIS and got a couple viral TikToks for your DIY tie-dye? Stop it right there. There’s no room for “only” in your vocabulary in the middle of a pandemic. If watching Gibbs and co. kick ass and revisiting the 60s kept you safe and sane, then you did exactly what you needed to do.

You’re always going to be the loser when you compare yourself to others. This has been a thing since people existed, but 2020 is the first year in recent history that, thanks to covid, people started comparing their coping mechanisms to each other. And all that negative self-talk needs to stay in 2020. So you know what? If tying your shoes over your pants makes you feel chic when all of your favorite stores have been shut down, then strut down that street, queen. If sweatsuits and coveralls bring you joy when you’re two molecules of serotonin away from depression, then wear them with pride. But don’t you dare put yourself down for doing what makes you happy when over two million people and counting have died.

Of course, people are going to have their own opinions and many will judge you no matter what you do. I know I low-key threw shade at the shoes-on-pants trend, but that’s exactly where I hope you can be empowered in your self-confidence. I want you to look at my picture below, and say the following: “Fuck you, Stephanie. I can wear whatever I want.” Seriously. Imagine my face is the face of every judgmental asshole who has shot you a dirty look, rolled their eyes, or laughed at your fashion choices. Use my picture as your mental punching bag, strengthening your resolve and your self-confidence. Scream it at me if you want to, but say it until you believe this: Fuck the haters - you can wear whatever you want.

If you can leave the negative internal dialogue in 2020, you’ll have a better 2021 no matter what this year throws at you. Start with your fashion - drop the comparisons and discover your ability to rise above what other people think. You are beautiful. You are valid. You are strong. If quirky fashion helps you cope with everything that’s going on, then you deserve the ability to use it without judgment from everyone else, and without judgment from yourself.

I’ll say it one more time for the people in the back: No matter what clothes and accessories you wear on your body - putting yourself down is never a good look. Leave it in 2020.