Don't Resist: Buy a Mario Mask Today

Damn it – if I’m forced to wear a mask for the foreseeable future, then I’m going to at least enjoy myself.

The item hit me like a ton of bricks. It was September 2020.

I’d just been laid off due to COVID-19 and looking for mental stimuli to perk me up. Scrolling mindlessly through social media usually did the trick.

And then I saw it: from simultaneously the likeliest and unlikeliest of influencers. Jessica Chobot, former correspondent for Nerdist, posted a quick 5-second video clip on her Twitter page of herself wearing a large black mask, resplendent with an animated loop of an 8-bit Super Mario.

My immediate reaction was: OMIGOD I NEED TO HAVE THIS.

Then common sense prevailed; I was furloughed from my corporate job in May and had only recently been given the official axe by my manager via a quick phone call in August.

I did some freelance writing as I applied for new positions, but the extra infusion of income did little to slow the dwindling figures of my bank account.

So, I took a deep breath, and calmly reasoned that an LED Mario Mask was a “nice to have” item, but a definite want and not a need at the time. I promised myself that as soon as I was gainfully employed once more, I’d revisit the possibility of purchasing one of these outlandish masks.

Fast-forward to the start of 2021. I found a job and was ready to treat myself again.

I assumed that after four months, I wouldn’t even think of the mask. That after I slept on it, I’d determine it was an impulse purchase that I simply didn’t need.

I, of course, was sorely mistaken.

It didn’t help that sightings of the LED mask persisted on my social media feeds. I had also spotted Boston Celtics center Tacko Fall rocking the mask on Instagram.

The temptation was too great to resist. In January, I scoured the Internet to discover where I could find this alluring light-up mask.

Through my research, I discovered that the creator of the mask was Lumen Couture, a well-known purveyor of a litany of unique and fashionable wearable tech.

The infamous mask – formally titled the LED Matrix Face Mask on the official website – was an inspired response by designer Chelsea Klukas to our current shared experience with the global pandemic.

To be quite honest, it wasn’t the price that had initially deterred me from purchase. It was fear.

Fear that by purchasing the mask, I was embracing a world where face coverings were normalized. The second they crossed over from personal protective equipment into the realm of fashion statement, I worried they would be cemented into the culture, and here to stay.

But then I thought: so what? This is our reality now. Even when a large portion of the population is vaccinated and we can go about some sort of semblance of a facsimile of normalcy in our lives, we may still be required to wear masks in crowded public spaces, and inside buildings.

I figured if I HAD to wear a mask to be a part of society, I may as well make the most of it, right?

Late January, I added the LED Matrix Face Mask to my cart; by mid-February, I was the proud owner of my very own light-up Mario mask!

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that 8-bit Mario is not the ONLY setting. There’s an entire library of preset animations at your disposal once you install the proprietary app, available on both iPhone and Android. There is also a setting to create scrolling text messages, and you can even sync it up with music files on your mobile device.

Best of all: YOU CAN MAKE CUSTOM ANIMATIONS! This was the biggest selling point for me, and the beginning of my foray into the wonderful world of sprite creation (fun fact: growing up on Nintendo games has made me a big kid for life).

For those that are curious: yes, the mask is machine washable. Lumen Couture had the foresight to create a removable LED panel, so you can dispel the concern of wearing this only once or for special occasions for risk of it getting too dirty or smelling like Flaming Hot Cheetos.

And the mask is LARGE, taking up considerable real estate on my round head. But that just makes it easier to wear a smaller, more conventional mask underneath. That way, you can properly protect yourself AND satisfy our public health overlords who now decree that double masking is best practice in preventing transmission of the virus.

So channel your inner cyberpunk! Be the cool kid on the block and rock an LED Matrix Face Mask by Lumen Couture!