Creating is a powerful form of self-expression. I find that using a medium that suits my current feeling brings me to comfort and a place of Zen.

My very first memory of my Mother doing something that I was so curious about, so interesting to me that I would get scolded and told to stop bugging her, was of her sitting intently at her sewing table. She was surrounded by lengths of colorful fabric and shiny things. As a little girl that was impossible to resist! It was even more interesting to me than Grandma baking in the kitchen, while I sneakily picked fresh Peaches from her tree. When I reminisce about these moments so long ago, Nostalgia surrounds my heart, and my chest gets tight. The smells of...I can't describe, I never can! A warm summer's eve, and the inexplicable delight of being alive. I truly was a little girl in happily forever after-Ville. Really it's needless to say, but as I grew older my interests naturally expanded to things l was strangely unaware of before. They suddenly surrounded me. Even still, the pleasant experiences of early childhood, enabled a keen sense of color, smell, and texture. I of course did not know what that meant for me at the time, but my mother was happy about it, and when my Mommy was happy, the world was a good place to be. So here I will return to the Child that remembers with rosy-cheeked exuberance, the very first flouncy blouse, without Rick Rack (if you were born after 1980 it is forgiven, if not in your personal dictionary.) I think it was in 2nd grade, and I was so proud of my new "Stevie Nicks" blouse. It was truly a hit that first debut, so much that my teacher inquired as to where my Mom bought that "Fab blouse". I was beaming, and to this day is a favorite memory. This is a true story, so it is not all sugar plums, believe me, there's all that the behind closed doors stuff too. Not that I will tell...we'll see. What I am trying to lead into, is at the end of the day my mother was an "Outside the Box," exceptional seamstress, beyond the times. I wore homemade clothing, all except for the fashion impossible designer jeans of the day. I'm sure most of you are familiar, "Chemin de Fer, Souvenirs, Dittos, etc?" Must-haves for teens then. My other clothing was a mystery to strangers, as far as they knew, I was hitting the Fashion District in San Fran every Fall! My closest girlfriends were the only ones who had the whole down-low. We were all pretty surprised when I took the yearbook title for "Best Dressed Female" in the whole eighth grade. I was not Miss Popularity or any such nonsense, but you'd think it might of been nice of me to give my Mom a little Love right? I didn't, being the teenage, (14 years ancient) Narcissist that I was at the time. Shame haunts me now as it should because my Mom has sadly passed on too soon, and if I could go back, (her words ringing in my head hanging low), "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, Susan Lyn" I would shout out to all just how wonderful she was and not just a Seamstress, she was a multi-talented, well rounded Renaissance Woman. As well the Strongest woman, unshakeable, unbreakable, unbeatable. Just completely everything I wish I could, but never will be. That is a small lead into the graces of my Mom, for none of us have enough time to do her justice. Now to the to real of what I am telling you about. I am an Artist. Full to the hilt Libra-Virgo, and I am not afraid to embrace my flakiness, I like to think it makes me mysterious. I don't mind if people think otherwise, I'm old now at 53 so I like to think what I want of other people as well, keeps it interesting! I'm als0 sensitive, Librans trait as well so please don't feel free to tell me if your thoughts are unkind as I will do likewise. Having said what about my life I think adequate for explaining my Artistic drive, I am not the Scissor Wizard that was my Mom, but I do use them daily for my various crafts and experimental as well as fundamental endeavors. I am mainly a Sketch Artist, that is what came to me as just a breeze, a wonderful gift by any means. I believe it comes from my Fathers' side. Remember my aforementioned Grandma in the kitchen? She was a Non-proclaimed and very talented sketcher of birds. Any and all kinds of birds, and cats too. Birds and Cats, playing together in harmony. She could also write. She made all the Church-ladies have to use their hankies, and she would get so mad at me for laughing. Hey, it was funny when their makeup was all runny, I was a kid, and a Tomboy that didn't cry ever, (in church anyway)I had my tears more than enough, later on when I figured out I was only crying because I was a Libra for sure. I was so mad at that Idiotic crap that went on and changed signs to be a Gemini. I always wanted to have a twin or any sibling for that matter. Soon it came to be, I started to get in trouble in sch00l, mostly in Math class for doodling all over my papers. "Remember the days of "show your work?" They are no more, kids today have it easy comparatively. I guess they didn't appreciate the kind of work I was showing. Being the way she was, rather than suppress my urges to draw on everything every chance I could, (sans her walls in my ro0m) she put me to work in UC Davis annex art classes in the afternoons, only if I quit drawing on my schoolwork, and finished my homework assignments to her satisfaction. Staunch and Stern, she was a Norwegian all the way on that kind of thing. I will note that I am very grateful for that today, not so much then. That is a gift, as it was because I received a much more than adequate public school education. So it was then, throughout grade school, and Junior-High I happily partook in all the art stuff I was mature enough to enjoy. I even made some college-age "friends" I did not know that in time they were going to become priceless mentors to me in the future. That statements bring to mind how endless time seemed then compared to these flash in the pan type of days I am enduring now. Youth is so terribly unappreciated when we are in the midst of it, and that is sad to me, in retrospect. So as the tales trudges along towards the summer of my 14th year, these entities called boys became the most important factor of my focus. I seemed to lose interest in just about everything else, except my favorite tv shows, such as you may have gathered the 70's so...Partridge Family, need I embarrass myself further? I sort of disconnected with my Mom too, and it was no secret that she was none too happy with her "teenage" exorcist reject wanna be so "Cool" version of Me. I still did not mind the homemade clothing, but none of the kids at school were noticing me, and I did notice that to the extreme. I had become the blender type of girl, boring and unnoticeable. Unacceptable to me, even though before, these matters simply did not matter. (Ugh) is the only suitable response to who I thought I had to suddenly become.

I had before I even noticed my teachers' casting worried glances in my direction during tests, Failed three of my favorite courses. This was not news my Mom was used to. I will just say this, in brief. The latter part of my freshman year in High-school and the summer that followed are not my most favorite of memoirs. On and forward we roll, thankfully, as my Mother being a Nurse by career, and so natured in life as a whole saw the suffering soul within the Sociopathic teen before her, and decided to help. "Let the Games Begin!" Shouted by Cesar to the hungry crowds awaiting Gladiator Blood Spillage at the Coliseum of Ancient Rome. I'm using Roman Gladiators for analogy purposes only of course, although it may have at times sounded like a battlefield of sorts! The first issue at hand was my lacking grades, all were failing except Art, of course. I had a long, quiet summer consisting of many Novels, flashcard Mathematics, and no boys. So it was, with no one but myself to blame, I endured my Endless Summer, hat in hand looking forward to the coming school year, a first for me I believe. Just as relief was settling in nicely, my mother had been making new plans for my new duties prior to the school season of my "supposedly sweet" Sixteenth year. All the good stuff Teen Style about to come my way, yes? Car, Dating, even my very own private Telephone! I never thought of my mom as mean, but this next surprise was pushing it. I was still enjoying the fashions that she made for me but bored over the summer as I was, I had snuck a few fashion Mags in with the plethora of Novels I had to read, and for my wardrobe to be a bit outdated, and heaven forbid, I had a dumb moment and mentioned this. Plead I did when she announced the lovely sewing class she had taken as a beginner would be just in time for me to make some of my next Haute Coutoure, for my 16th Debut! Mortified I was, as I didn't mind wearing her homemade creations, they were quite nice but I am Artist, not a Seamstress! My mom was by no means dull, and she had big leverage, as in grades, driving privileges, and Dating. For the life of me, I was going to sew my own wardrobe! Thank The Lucky Stars for Flashdance and Modonna, I had fashion shortcut secrets my mother never even dreamed of, as I rarely needed a Sewing Machine, and better yet, no need at all for a (gag me) pattern! Thank you as well to Kurt Cobain, I just need a good pair of Sewing Scissors, a sharp seam ripper, and a large supply of scrapped fabric to go along with a select couple of good Ready to Wear pieces and I am going to be not just okay, whatever wear girl, I'm going head first in with Rock On, Fashion Forward It Girl! It was now my mother's turn at feeling what Mortified is like, and I did enjoy it a little. I knew she wouldn't allow it to go too far, so I didn't push the envelope as much as you might think. That is going to pretty much bring me to the "Here and N0w." Today, I am still a Jack of all trades kind of Artist. I love all forms, aspects, mediums, and schools of thought about Art. I love to trial and error, learn when and wherever I can. I am not a young woman, yet I have not yet done all of the Art related things I find interesting. I like to make others feel something with my art, hopefully in the realm of Positive. I worked for years as a Colorist for Hair and Loved it. I still do, but age has taken away the pleasure because my back, feet, and legs can no longer do 9 hours on a ceramic floor. For this, I have integrated my favorite things together with a Prayer, my talents, and a little help from my friends I will make the ends become my means. This brings me to a brief summary of what I said brings me to Zen. my first love is Drawing. I encountered a recent misfortune and unfortunate loss to fire,I I no longer have many of my works t0 show. Not pleasant, yet inspired me none the same. I also enjoy painting with several different mediums and techniques. Woodworking, and fashion too. Yes, Scissors, fabric scraps, and seam rippers! I do re-fab from old comfy favorites for friends and individuals, pregnant girls love my versions of normal jeans, gone baby-friendly, not frumpy. Your boyfriend's super cool Surf shirt needs some tailoring? I am the go-to gal. I also love re-building old jewelry into something to talk about, be it costume or Tiffany. I jumped on this challenge a bit on the tardy side, but take a look! It's fun, made with Zen in the house, and it makes me happy too. If you read this far, I Thank You Kindly, and may you walk with happiness.