Beneath the Hoodie

Since a young age, I have been a natural born wonder-er who enjoys the thrill of wandering. Wandering and learning, from strangers and friends, to visitors and locals. Learning the most, though, from the environment through the weather cycles unique to each geographical location. Naturally, I am also one who resonates with wide open spaces and a lot of landscape. Recently, however, I have been giving my best attempt at adapting to one of the most populated places I have lived, to date.

San Jose, California. A city that has revealed the many facets of who I am; in my entirety. Many aspects of my character have been tested since August, the month that solidified my new residence. In particular though, it’s my level of authenticity that’s been under review. Never has this been a question or a concern of mine, but lately I am seeing all the ways I am not fully expressing myself, or boldly remaining true to all of me. Yet, on the flip side, that is exactly why I love this city. From my observations while riding VTA, the city's public transportation option, I have built my own belief of how the weather affects my being throughout the day. In a city that is constantly churning, I have learned to appreciate layers.

The concept and way I use the word ‘layers,’ can be broken down in many ways and applies to many parts of my life. Layers within my character. Layers within my thoughts; lists of reasons behind every one of my actions. The different levels that my energy comes in, depending on what I am doing. Even my relationships with friends and family can be picked apart, layer by layer. Yet, none of the above are new concepts. The layering of the daily wardrobe, that is what I have come to truly appreciate here in San Jose.

Growing up on an island, layering of clothes is not necessary, though the concept isn’t foreign. I learned at a young age, from watching Disney channel and Nick-at-Nite, that it’s the fashion in places which have seasonal weather changes. Perhaps my observation and experience is one of bias, or just completely illogical, but what I have noticed is that layering goes beyond the chilly temperature outside.

Last night, while picking out my outfit for work today, I laughed as I could not decide what color shirt to wear. When I had finally settled on a color, I was left with the choice: long sleeve or short sleeve? As I weighed, back and forth, the two options I chuckled a little as I thought, “Oh, duh short sleeve with a jacket on top - but which jacket?” I laughed because it was a no-brainer to think it’ll be chilly at 6am and by noon it should be warm enough to strip the outer layer, yet not too hot to leave the jacket on, if I should so choose.

This led to a string of other thoughts and metaphors. My favorite was realizing that I find comfort in these layers. A jacket or a hoodie is a type of shield that goes on as I prepare to approach the day head first. Since there’s no telling what the day holds, I can only take it moment to moment. By noon if my energy is up, the outer layer comes off. If my energy is low, well then, I keep my little shell on and sink into its warmth.

I also find more than comfort beneath these articles of clothes. To me it creates this mood of flexibility. As I head into my day I am prepared for a shift in weather, or a change in plans. Ready to dawn or shed whichever layer benefits me most at the moment.

Lastly, it is a way for me to display multiple sides of my personality throughout the day. At the start I am reserved, slowly waking up and feeling out my body, mind and mood for the day. The outer layer could be bland, while the inner is funky and bold; or vice versa. Perhaps the layer beneath is more extroverted and ready to head to the bar after work, or maybe not. Maybe the layer underneath is even simpler and plain. Meaning I am ready to return to my comfort zone at the end of the day.

Ultimately, San Jose has allowed me to express and be creative without the feeling that I have to impress a single person.