Be a Flamingo amongst a flock of pigeons

There is one thing for sure and that is you can't hide when you have a beard no matter how big or small. Some days I can't go anywhere without attracting attention of some sort. Without sounding modest I had a fairly large beard (an award winning at that), 10” at best, but these days it is half that, not the largest by any chalk but certainly not short. My wife and kids are used to it now but sometimes it can be cringe-worthy, it embarrasses the kids no end, especially when it was bigger because of the attention I would get. Don't get me wrong, this is not a daily occurrence and not always positive, although now it is shorter the novelty wears off. When feedback is good, it is a good feeling and when bad, it can take the skip out of your step.

Unconscious bias

I have contrasting fashion styles that can attract different reactions depending on the audience. When I'm at work I like to dress formally, not a suit these days but at least a jacket or waistcoat and trousers, mixed with a hat when I'm out and about. In contrast, evenings and weekends it will be jeans, t-shirt or shirt with a baseball cap. Amazingly, I have even spoken to someone in the workplace by day and then that same night in my alternative attire only to get walked straight past before recognising my voice when I address them. If I see a face, it is never forgotten, regardless of what they wear so I find it most unusual that having a beard is not a feature people will remember, whatever clothes I am stood up in. Also, another time when I went to buy some over the counter painkillers at a pharmacy and was refused them. I was dressed in my street wear, tattoos on show. Next day I did a social experiment and went back with a tie on and overcoat, I was served with no problem. The server was the same person! Maybe it has to do with unconscious bias where the person associates the dapper look with professional and approachable as opposed to scruffy and less than desirable. Imagine the reaction I get on dress down day! Anyone else experience the same?

Attention

Most days I can go places without even a second glance from someone (that I can tell), sometimes the odd look but the full-on days can be surreal. I have been out with my wife, with or without kids and I can get comments throughout the day, thankfully, nowadays do I rarely get a tug or a stroke (of the beard). One day I even had someone stop me for a photo and I obliged. Maybe it has to do with the clothing as well? It ranges from a nod received by a fellow beardsman to a fresh-faced hopeful. In between, it is a kid, whilst pointing, tugging at their parents trouser leg who is dying of embarrassment whispering frantically to them to shut up and move on, the drunk or bunch of lads that give you a shout out, drawing even more attention to you, the odd (I should be so lucky) woman that gives a little smile of approval, occasionally, the hater who has to remind you that a beard is dirty and thinks the only thing they are good for is a birds nest or for storing food in, the best for last is the compliment, that person who congratulates you for the perseverance and achievement, one they often aspire to.

Beard on

I have been asked if I wash it, yes of course I say, who wouldn’t and even give it a blow dry followed by a splash of beard oil. It also gets a final run through of beard balm as well. I probably spend more time than most men on keeping up appearances. I don’t have good days every day. The ‘tache doesn’t sit right, bits curl, the beard develops a wave. You have to take the rough with the smooth. Another experience, when I was walking up the street minding my own business, in the space of ten minutes I had received two beeps from passing cars followed by a van full of lads stopped at traffic lights waving their thumbs at me whilst stroking imaginary beards. On the way back I spotted a very poignant picture in a frame with words that read "Be a Flamingo amongst a flock of pigeons", that was me that day. This is what gives me the self-confidence to walk up the street with my head held high and beard on!