Who Will Be EmPAWyee of the Month?

I’ve got two amazing EmPAWyees, that could be considered for this spectacular title for sure, but I’m a little bias. I cannot, for the life of me, choose which one is better than the other. They are so different but in loving and amusing ways. Whose to say whether this EmPAWyee is better than that one? Not me, so I’ll allow you to give your unbiased opinion.

As I’m working from home, I’m lucky enough to get a bit of a sleep in, but not for too long. My little girl EmPAWyee, Grizabella, supervises and often instigates my awakening. Her role and official title is that of a much needed ‘Waker Upperer’.

Grizabella is curled up against my legs, watching carefully, while judging the time. Once she has made the judgement call that it is time to rise and shine, she will climb up onto my legs and gingerly pad her tiny paws across my chest until she reaches my neck. Her little paw will then reach out and very gently but continuously tap me on my lips. Little tap, tap, taps.

She takes this role very seriously and continues to tap my lips until she gets a rise from me, letting her know I’m awake. Her initial morning task is now complete.

Grizabella trained long and hard for this important role, with many workplace accidents, before she perfected her technique. She discovered if she jumps on my chest, I will fly into sitting position in fright, thereby launching her off the bed.

Grizabella also discovered that when tapping my lips, it’s very important that she sheath her claws. At first, whilst perfecting her craft, she tapped my lips with her claws extended and was horrified when I let out a high pitch scream.

I believe, after that instance, she did consider resigning and looking for a more appropriate role. I managed to convince her to stick it out, she could only improve and she has managed astonishingly well. She can now add expert ‘Waker Upperer’ to her resume.

For this alone she should surely be rewarded, EmPAWyee of the Month.

Now, before you all go agreeing with me, Grizabella is just the cutest little girl, who very persistently applies her talent on a consistent basis. Not a morning has gone by where she has been absent, neither sick leave taken nor annual leave, no matter how much I insist. Oh no, she’s back at her post first thing every single morning.

But I digress. Before you pass judgement on Grizabella, I would like to introduce you to my other candidate, Peach.

Now Peach is a big, extremely handsome, deep voiced and overly loud EmPAWyee but he ensures his talents are put to good use.

Peach is my ‘Break Master’, as he’s honestly concerned about my health and the damage that sitting for hours on end could cause. Peach certainly keeps me on my toes. There are times he insists I need six or more breaks an hour and then other times he’ll leave me with one break every couple of hours.

Let me explain the role of ‘Break Master’, as Peach has tweaked the role where necessary, to make it a role that he seriously owns and completes in a style only Peach can pull off.

So Grizabella has woken me on a typical morning, both Grizabella and Peach herd me into the kitchen to serve up their breakfast. As career conscious workaholics, they understand the importance of sustenance first thing in the morning. They work extremely well in this capacity, each herding me from a difference angle, to ensure I do not get sidetracked in any way. Job well done by both exemplary EmPAWyees.

Once breakfast is placed in front of each of the hard workers, I head for my desk and commence my working day. Not ten minutes passes, when there is a sudden and very deep, loud mournful cry, ringing throughout the house. Peach has decided it is break time already.

Grizabella flies out of the room to check on Peach and I can hear that mournful cry turn to constant grumbling. A very perceptible warning that I am taking too long to commence my break. I find Peach, with Grizabella nearby observing, sitting in front of the spare bedroom door. He is clearly insisting, along with his continued grumbling, that it is time to open the door, so he can take up sentry on the window sill.

Peach enjoys the lesser duties of ‘Sticky-beak Guard’ and has volunteered to perform this role.

I’ve opened the door, satisfactorily in Peach’s book, so break time is over. Back to my desk I go.

I lose track of the time but I’m guessing only half an hour has passed, when I hear another loud deep mournful cry, letting me know it’s break time again.

Up I stumble and go looking for Peach. Once found, perched below the closed lounge room window, gorgeous eye - and no there is no case for workplace sexual harassment as I’m just stating the obvious - silently requesting the window be opened. It’s now time for him to ‘Sticky-beak Guard’ in the new position, on the lounge room window sill.

I must note here that Peach is disabled. You may have noticed, when I commented on his gorgeous eye, that this was a singular word. Peach has lost one of his eyes but please do not allow this to influence your decision on EmPAWyee of the Month. Peach is as good at his job as any two eyed EmPAWyee would be.

Once again, after opening the window, I head back to work. I spend considerable time working and was just questioning whether Peach was sleeping on the job, when I hear his loud, deep mournful cry.

I’ve been sitting so long my legs have pins and needles, so it takes me awhile to get to Peach. Even I’ll admit this break is sorely needed.

There is Peach meowing over and over again. I don’t think he is even taking a breath between each meow. He is sitting in front of his dry biscuit bowl. There are plenty of biscuits in the bowl but Peach believes he is going to starve to death, if he can see any part of the bottom of the bowl. It’s at this time that he implores you to put out enough biscuits to fully cover the bottom.

Once he is happy with his biscuits, break time is over and back to work I go.

I’m working silently, lost in my zone and have been for quite some time, when Grizabella jumps up onto my desk. She starts pacing in front of me, all the while, rubbing against my arms in a real smooching manner.

Grizabella is extremely efficient at telling the time and due to this talent, she once again excels at her secondary role, that of ‘Finish and Feed Officer’. In this role, she is responsible for reminding me to finish work at a reasonable time and serve up dinner for both Peach and herself. Again she takes this role seriously and will persist in her smooching ways, until she get what she wants.

I give in to her demands, heading off to the kitchen to reward my two hard workers.

Now it is here, that all three of us knock off work and head onto the lounge room mat for some serious playtime, of stalking and pouncing.

Can you see now, why I cannot decide who should be EmPAWyee of the month? They both hold important positions and their due diligence in each of their roles is second to none. Therefore, it’s now over to the judges. Please note the judges decision will final!

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