Sometimes the most terrifying things are those you don't see coming, the ones that are so cleverly disguised that the evil that lay beneath the surface is undetectable. This is the haunting story of just such an evil. Beware and be warned.
The costume she wears is the one she came with, sparkling amber eyes, round with doe-like innocence, silky soft fur in hues of grey, white and brown, perfect pastel pink beans on the bottoms of her feet and a chocolate chip button nose. She's 3 pounds of furball delight.
Or that's what she'd have you believe. And who could blame you? I believed it too. We both did.
From the day we met her, she's been using her clever disguise to charm us, to worm her way into our hearts and to take over our lives. A master manipulator, a sleek seductress, a femme fatale that spends her days tormenting, teasing and terrorizing us. She even beats up her brother, and he's 3 times her size! We're all mere playthings to her. She owns us. She makes it known. Yet, somehow, we love her just the same.
She uses her costume, the guise of an adorable kitty, to disarm us. It works every time. I know the old saying, "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me," but trust me, she's THAT GOOD and so is her disguise. She just keeps doing things that are so damned adorable that even after 2 years of her trickery, we believe with our entire souls that she's a sweet girl.
I mean, look at this. Here she is, sleeping in her Daddy's shoe. Have you ever seen anything so adorably harmless and loving as this?
She's just so cute!
Fast forward the clock about 30 minutes. That harmless kitty has woken up. Her feline senses began tingling and she realized her humans were planning something, something she didn't approve of, something that didn't include her. Those damn humans were planning on going out! She could feel it in the air, in the way they moved about, in the words they used. They didn't even have the courtesy to ask permission from her, their adorable overlord and supreme ruler!
"Well, we'll just have to see about this! I'll just rip the insoles out of their shoes, that'll show them!"
Yup, that's what she does. If she senses we're going out, she'll take the insoles out of whatever shoes happen to be by the door. And no, putting them in the hall closet doesn't help because it has a folding door and she knows how to open it.
Everything must run according to her schedule and her every whim. First thing in the morning, she wants her soft food, at 7 am, sharp. First, she'll sit by her dish quietly. When that doesn't work, she enlists her big brother, Baby into putting on a show for us. They'll roll around and fight and generally amuse us with their antics. if that doesn't work, she'll turn the heat up to full charm and jump on one of our laps and nuzzle us and purr ever so sweetly. For about 45 seconds.
Still no soft food? Three strikes and you're out, humans! The next thing we'll hear is noise coming from the spare room that the cats have taken over as their own. It sounds like she's used her litter box, and she has. But, there's more. She's not only used it, she's kicked almost its entire contents out onto the floor! Yeah, she's kicked turds all over the floor. We call it, "kickin' turds" and it's her chief means of punishment.
Not fast enough on the food? Kickin' turds. No treats? Kickin' turds. Did you say no to me? Kickin' turds. Have you closed a door, thereby denying me access to the bedroom? Kickin' turds. You've displeased me in an unspecified manner? Kickin' turds.
And just when we've had enough with the turd kicking, she'll stop. She'll switch it up and become loveable again. More unbelievable cuteness and just at the very moment we've decided to crack down and show her there'll be no more of her foolishness.
Back in our good books, she uses ingenious rouse to pacify us as she plans her next move. The manipulation continues as we sit, surprisingly unaware.
"Domination must be total and punishments severe. All sense of luxury the humans have must be taken and destroyed. Curtains. Tear 'em down. The female human bought a nice candle holder. Bet I could jump on that table and knock it down. What's this, a new Coach purse? Don't that leather scratch up nice. Serves her right for setting it down."
The truth is, I'd love to dress Gypsy up in one of those cutesy Halloween costumes, but frankly, she terrifies me. And let's face it, she's at her Halloween-y best in the costume she was born in. ;)
About the Creator
Misty Rae
Retired legal eagle, nature love, wife, mother of boys and cats, chef, and trying to learn to play the guitar. I play with paint and words. Living my "middle years" like a teenager and loving every second of it!
You're Nobody Until You've Been Ignored By A Cat
Introduction I am currently reading the excellent "The Pie At Night" by Stuart Maconie and he mentions that he has a homemade fridge magnet that he bought from a craft fair somewhere in Lakeland that has a wooden cat with googly eyes that states "You're Nobody Until You've Been Ignored By A Cat" and that is something that happens to me very often, so it would imply that I am not Nobody.
By Mike Singleton - Mikeydreda day ago in Petlife
How to take care of your cat
Feed them natural food, not commercial dry powdered foods. Although natural foods involve more preparation, it really doesn't with the right steps. You can prepare a lot of natural cat food and store it in the fridge or freezer. When storing it in the freezer, be sure to put it in separate containers. You can also mix a little bit of vinegar or wine if storing it in the fridge to make it last longer. Note that storing it longer will also decrease the nutrition, taste, texture, and aroma of the food. If the cats are not spoiled or native, they'll still eat it anyway. Only mix probiotics and vitamins when you're ready to give the food. You can search on Google for foods that aren't allowed for cats and foods that are appetizing to cats. I usually mix the food with allowed fruits and veggies. Not to add too much because they won't eat it. I also mix meat stock, rice, and some commercial cat food to save more money and increase nutrition, thereby preventing diseases and veterinary expenses. When I can't give them anything, I give them rice with soy sauce mixed with a little bit of malunggay. Cats have little kidneys, so don't give them soy sauce often, which is high in sodium. It said on Google that grinded pumpkin seeds can get rid of worms, but I haven't tested it. If youre planning to give it, though, be sure to test it first on one cat and a very small amount, then monitor for the cats behavioral changes. Same procedure when introducing other types of food. If effective, maintain the diet so the worms will be completely eradicated and nutrition levels maintained. Also, clean the cage with Clorox to remove the eggs on the surfaces so the worms won't come back to the cat.
By Jan Angelo Maghinang4 days ago in Petlife
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