Well That Went Well

I am a Pug lover, and as a pug lover, I have been owned by Pugs since I was Twenty. So, after years of being owned by Pugs, you begin to brag about how wonderful they are and how much fun they can be, as well as how quirky they can be, as well as the energy bursts, the figure-eight poop, the pee trot you see where I'm going with this.

After years of talking about living with pugs, they seemed to come to me when I had four in the house with me. Which is a feat, I should say four dogs, one doorbell, which led to me being def for brief periods each time there were visitors, and I prayed they didn't see the mailman. At the same time, I was working from home. This was a job that I did Home Loan Closings and worked at my own pace.

One day I'm sitting at home, and a client of mine calls me up and asks, "Are you at home?" I say, "Yeah, I am. Why?" She says, "I have a Pug. I would love for you to see him. I can't keep him." Reluctant to say no to her, I said, "Ok." I looked around at my two pugs that were elderly and thought, "they could train him, nothing else." She arrives at the door, and there is this bubbly black Pug I had never been owned by a black pug before. It was love at first sight. I reach down and unsnap the leash and tell her," In the house, we do not cage or leash the Puggies" That's when he saw the other two and instantly peed on the floor. I say, "Thank God for the "Flip It" Bissell, you did something right." So I promptly cleaned up the mess, no worries. She's impressed and says, "You have this under control" I laugh and say, "They have me trained." She laughed. Little did she know Pugs train people usually the hard way.

She says, "His name is Edgar." I got down to his level and said, "Would you like to come to stay with us, Edgar?" Even the two older dogs chimed in and began to give that welcoming howl and Pug scream of excitement. I look at her and say, "I guess it's ok, now to pass it by my husband." She laughs and says, "Will he kill us?" I laugh and say, "He kills me at least two times a week for something, so we'll live. Just brace yourself for the screaming. It's harsh at first." She laughed. I knew he wouldn't scream. He loved Fred and Barney, so it would be a brief moment of anger if any. I took a picture and called him. "We have a new family member!" He said, "What! Another dog! Can you say No!" I laughed and said, "No." So we adopted Edgar that later became Eddie. Eddie and my Husband bonded right away. I could walk through the house, and suddenly, I was the intruder.

Then came Sammy, the youngest fawn and tan full of energy. A few weeks later, we had four Pugs in the house. The dog hair could get phenomenal quick again. Thank God for the "Flip-it." I could clean up messes, and you couldn't tell there were dogs in my house. Which I worked hard to make sure stayed that way. I prized myself on my housekeeping; however, I despised doing dishes. I would plea bargain to get out of doing dishes, trade chores just to keep from loading the dishwasher. I hated dishes that bad.

This day there was no getting out of it. I had clients coming at 4 pm. The dogs needed to be walked, and I had no choice but to load the dishwasher. I could swear my husband was getting even. He apparently saved up dishes and put them in the sink so I would have to touch them. Knowing I would get grossed out by it. I put the dishes in and used care to not let any of the grossness touch me. I turn it on, and it starts to make this strange noise. I'm thinking, "Ok, that's odd." It finishes its cycle, and I empty it and think, "I have Drain O maybe that will work. Maybe it's. Maybe food that's clogged up in the drain." I pour in half a cup and close the door, grab the leashes, and the dogs are ready to walk me. We are out the door with four quick snaps, doggie bags in hand, and four happy Pugs. We are off. The sun is out.

Barney is the first one to go down. He lays down the mid-walk and refuses to walk one more step. Eddie, however, is ready to keep going and isn't having any of Barney holding up progress. There's stuff to be peed on. I wind up packing Barney, which is expected. However, Fred, Sammy, and Eddie were happy to go on their way. After our usual trip and all things that needed marking were adequately marked, we headed home. I could feel the beads of sweat popping up from packing a forty-pound pug that was now panting. We go around the back way to the house, and by the Graces of God, I had left the back door open, and the baby gate was up. I thought, "Win for me." I put the dogs across the entrance and sat down on the porch.

I can see inside, and Eddie runs and sit on the steps, looking into the kitchen. Then Barney and Fred come out of the kitchen hurriedly. I think, "That's strange." I walk in the door of my living room and peek around the corner to see a blob of bubbles coming out of my kitchen that is knee-high. I stand there in shock. "What the hell!" I look at the dogs, and they look at me, "Eddie looks at me like I didn't do it." ducking his head and walking down the steps and hiding in the basement (I didn't blame him; I wanted to go with him). Clients coming soon, my husband would kill me for sure. "How did this happen! Surely Drain O didn't do that? I again whipped out my "Flip it" and once again went to work. Four buckets full of water later, I finished sweat beads and all. My husband walked in the door moments after I was done and had the nerve to say, "It's about time you did something." (I almost went to jail that day.) I could see the headlines "Man kills husband with Flip it, gets life in jail." So, I refrained. My clients came we had a successful closing, and no one knew what happened except the dogs and me. For the longest time, Eddie wouldn't go near bubbles. If I took a bubble bath, Eddie was gone. Today all four of my "Puggies" have gone to "Puggie heaven." I will never forget the look on Eddies faces that day. If a dog could say, "Oh shit," he would have said, "Oh shit." If he had just learned to use the "Flip it."