The Wrong Choice

What do I do now? Can I be as happy as I once was?

I lie in my bed, fixated on a small photograph that I possessed in my purse. This was no stereotypical photograph.. you know, a lover, a child, a mother or father. No, this was far from any of those.

It was a merely a photo of my pet.. duck. Yes, you heard me correctly, you didn't mishear. I have a pet duck - or rather, I DID have a pet duck. His name was Bill, and he was my best friend. I took him everywhere with me; to the park, shopping, on roller coaster rides.. and yes, I even took him swimming. But! Don't think I'd be so appalling to let him swim in a local swimming pool - that'd be outrageous! No, I just took him to a river or reservoir and swam around with him. We lived a most content life, we needed nothing more in life, just each other. Just Bill and I, together forever.. or, as long as ducks live.

Now, you're probably wondering why I no longer own said duck. Its not much of a story to tell and it hurts to begin, but nonetheless, I will proceed.

It all began when I made friends with this guy. Now, he wasn't just ANY guy - first of all, his name WAS Guy.. any guy whose name is Guy has got to be a interesting guy, no? And he was. I met him whilst on a walk with Bill alongside the river near my home. He happened to be walking his pet goose. I'm kidding, he didn't have a goose.. it was a horse. He didn't have as extreme a pet as me - although, is a horse a pet? I'm side tracking. Lets move on.

Anyway, Guy and I managed to somehow get tangled up with one another as we tried to manoeuvre past each other. When I tried to duck past his horse, he tried to step over Bill (who steps over a DUCK?!), and Bill didn't like that so he began quacking like a mad-man on quack.. oops, I mean 'crack'. This led to Guy's horse snorting and then, everything goes a bit hazy. All I remember is waking up to Guy and I tangled up, inches from lip to lip and Bill sitting on Guy's horse. Yes, I can understand being tangled up, but like you, I don't get how Bill managed that! After untangling ourselves - of course I did that in the most unladylike manner - Guy introduced himself and his horse, who happened to be called Chaos. I suppose that explains how we managed to get tangled up. We had a little giggle about the mishap and then Guy decided to invite me for a meal for the next evening, as a way of an apology.

After the mishap, Bill didn't seem happy. I don't know what it was, but he kept quacking and was very expressive with his feathers all the way home. And anytime I mentioned Guy, he would shoot daggers at me (not literally! But, you know.. that eye look! The dagger eye look. Except it was a duck dagger look, which I don't think is an easy thing to imagine. Its easier to imagine him throwing daggers - eek!). Any way, I think its obvious he doesn't like Guy. But I couldn't let that stand in my way, Guy was the first guy that I've ever gone out with, even for just a meal. So Bill had to put up with that.. which I suppose he just about managed. When I opened the front door and strode out, he gave one enormous, "Quack!", and then actually slammed the door in my face! I hoped he didn't know how to lock the door, too.

The evening with Guy went well, especially considering this was a first for me. He was so warm and friendly, and he kept holding my hand across the table or giving me little compliments. Although, he did also talk about Chaos a lot.. their close bond, what he did with him, where he got him, what he feeds him and much more besides. How can he can he be that infatuated with a horse? I mean, I know I said I loved Bill and took him everywhere, but that doesn't mean to say I jabbered on about him constantly. But I suppose I put up with Guy's little.. obsession, in light of the fact we made plans to keep seeing each other.

From that moment onward, Guy and I became a permanent fixture. Yes, that's right, a twosome, a match, a duo, a pair. A COUPLE. Now, as I'm sure most of you readers are aware, when two people become one, they tend to have to make a few sacrifices along the way - especially when moving in together. And that was most certainly the case for us.

I merely mentioned about moving in together and Guy immediately confesses, "That sounds like a perfect idea! But, you're going to have to get rid of that.. thing of yours. I don't like them, I never have. Just the sight of them makes me shudder". In that moment, I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. I mean, surely he would've told me sooner or given clues - such as the shuddering (which I NEVER saw)? One thing is for sure, though, I knew I could stand up for Bill. "You can say, 'duck', you know. Its not a disgusting or foul word to say", I say through gritted teeth. Guy looks at me, bewildered.. as if I'd just suggested doing the impossible. "Maybe its easy for you to say, but I simply can't. It struggles to get out. Like when it feels like you've got something lodged in your throat, but no amount of hard work will encourage it to move", he reasons. I roll my eyes and proceed to question why I have to get rid of Bill. He continued to give the same useless excuse that he doesn't like them. What was I to do? I loved Bill. But I now also loved Guy. Why couldn't I have them both?

It came down to one choice, and I now know that I made the wrong, stupid one. Guy promised me he'd love me forever and give me everything that Bill couldn't (which isn't hard to do - duh, he's a duck!). He also reasoned that ducks don't live forever. Which is true.. they don't. And of course, he did the cliche movie thing when a relationship is in trouble.. he proposed. And me being young, innocent and naive, I believed all he said so much that I said, "Oh my god! Yes! Yes! A million times, yes!". This all meant, of course, that I had to make the choice.. and separate myself from Bill. How I managed to go through all that torment, I have no idea. I admit all I did was set him loose in the wild, explaining all the while why I was doing it. And Bill just waddled away seeming to either not care or understand fully what was occurring. But that's what made it all the more harder, how was I to ever know what Bill was thinking at the time? I couldn't help thinking it was because he didn't care. And its hard to let go of someone you love(d) without crying like a fountain.

The very same day, after finally managing to stop wailing, I had returned to the house to find Guy on Chaos, saddled with lots of bags. "What are you doing?!", I exclaimed. Guy gave me the smirkiest smirk of all time and responded, "I'm leaving you. All I wanted was for you to get rid of that ghastly thing you called a pet. I hatched a plan to get with you, become as close as ever and in doing so, convince you to send him on his way". I stared at Guy in horror, "And it worked! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ACTUALLY WORKED!", he bellowed, as his body shook with mirth. Never did I expect that. Of all the things to do, Guy has to go and do the worst. "Why?! What did I do to deserve this?", I shrieked, tears streaming down my face. He gives me the, 'really? I have to explain it to you' look (which in normal terms is an eyebrow raise, people). He runs his fingers through Chaos' mane and simply states, "He annoyed me. Or rather, you annoyed me. Walking your..d..du..dd..DUCK! around like it was nothing. I mean, who in the world owns a duck AND takes it for walks?", in that same moment he grips Chaos' rein and rides away.

That was it, that was his reasoning. No further explanation. Guy just rides into the sunset with Chaos' full-blown arse on show and gives not even so much as a glance back. I was so much more than pissed.. I was quacked. However, being that Guy was leaving, he didn't think about the consequences of doing so.. I could just go and get Bill back! So after letting my anger out on some disgusting pictures of Guy and I together (he ALWAYS had to have Chaos in them, somehow or other.. which usually meant I ended up covered in his manure), I ran like a madwomen back to the wild. Which where I live is just an area with a pond, woodland and some grassy fields. I arrived crying out, "Bill! BIIIIIILLL! QUUUUACK! QUACK, QUACK, QUUUUACCK!". Every duck and its mother popped their heads out of the grass and began stampeding towards me. That gave me no other choice than to climb the nearest tree and try and spot Bill in the mass gathering of ducks. As you can imagine, it wasn't easy.. at least, that's what you think when you see hundreds of ducks that all look identical. But Bill being Bill, he made it easy for me. I heard a, "Quack", above me and looked up to find him lazing in the branches above me (at least I hope it was Bill, otherwise I was just talking to another ordinary duck).

Now you're wondering.. what happened? How come you still aren't with Bill? Well, to put it simply, he didn't want to come back. I quacked all I could, I tried to be as convincing as possible, but nothing. He gave me a Bill duck smile then flew down from the tree and waddled away, waving his feathers behind him. And that was it (I could mention how I then jumped down and waddled like a duck after him - he only waddled faster! - but that changed nothing).

So that's why I lie in my bed now, wondering about my life. I lost my only duck friend, and some guy called Guy, all within the space of a few hours. How do you come back from an experience such as that? But I suppose I will, with time. As anyone does. I just wish I had a duck to cuddle.. or get pecked at by.

Duck out - QUACK!