The Tale of Assassin Kitty
Hello, my name is Mr. Fergun and my servants are being very disobedient towards me.
They won’t let me come in when I meow, and they throw me out the door when I twitch my tail. This is because I want to spray and show all these other intruders, I live with, who’s boss. They need to know that this is my home, and not theirs.
To make matters worse, the servant, I share a bed with, is always cheating on me with one of these intruders. I try to show her how I feel, by leaving gifts on or next to her pillow.
Can you believe that she doesn't appreciate my little presents?!
So because my servants have decided to be disobedient, I’m going to get back at them. I’ll get that mean ole dog, that trees me all the time, involved. I'm going to promise him one of the numerous fat juicy intruders. There is one in particular, who my servants have let invade my space; this intruder has white fur and sad blue eyes.
All I need to do is try and get my servants to trip down the stairs when they are walking down them. Hopefully I can break their necks by doing this. If that doesn’t work, I’ll keep them up all night by yowling until they go nuts and their eyes go cross.
Then I’ll leave the stupid intruders to that mean ole dog outside.
They really don’t suspect a thing, in fact the stupid cheating servant, I told you about, has resorted to calling me a skunk.
The nerve of her!
All right, this might have something to do with the fact that I want to spray the furniture.
Well, I’ll show her. Before she goes nuts, I’ll spray her.
This will show her what a skunk I am!
I’ll do it tonight…!!!! And, like I said, they don't suspect a thing…Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!
I’ll get them…this assassin kitty is not going to take this lying down.
Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!!!
You’ll see...And they don't suspect…
Oh wait the door is opening.
They suspect something, that’s the reason they're letting me in early!
That mean ole dog probably told them!
Or they heard me laughing outside.
No matter…I’ll just get back at them when they least suspect it!
This might be never, because these humans are smart enough to have sources. So they know everything. Even when a cute and furry kitty like me is going to drive them nuts. I bet you anything that mean ole dog is behind this. He's most likely in line with them.
Traitorous idiot! He'll do anything for a treat or belly rub!
Well, who cares!!!
They have to let their guard down sooner or later!!!
And when they do, I’ll stink them to death.
Hee, hee, ha, ha, hee, hee!
They won’t suspect a thing, because I've decided that mean ole dog, that they're allies with, won’t go in with me on this. I’ll find another way to finish the rest of the intruders off. One way that I could get rid of them, is by telling them how fun it is to chase after cars. Really these intruders are dumber than dumb. And due to them not being too smart, I'm pretty sure they’ll fall for it. OR if they don’t fall for that, I’ll tell them how fun it is to watch the cars out in the middle of the road; while they drive by.
Yea, I got it all planned out. There is no way it can fail.