The Cob Pt. 2

What a rollercoaster the past couple of months have been. I have learnt an incredible amount about myself, and of course about Tom.

My goals to get into competing so soon were rather ambitious, and I quickly realised that neither I or the horse were ready to begin going out, so I took a step back. This led to me completely losing my confidence in riding, and also in Tom, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Even after such positivity from my friends, trainer, mum and yard owner, I felt completely terrified of getting back on board. My confidence had literally just disappeared within the space of a few weeks. I realised how bad it had gotten when we went cross country schooling—I was terrified to even trot around the field and Tom felt so chilled, which made me feel even worse, as I was paranoid I was going to stress him out! However, I did trot and canter around the field, through the water complexes and up/down different terrains. I then finished on doing a little step up and down a couple of times, so I felt I hadn’t wasted a morning. I came away feeling incredibly disheartened and disappointed in myself. I felt like I was completely letting myself down.

I have struggled with my mental health for many years and the pressures of working with horses, as well as trying to keep two of my own, has been a challenge. Once I had felt a little bit of negativity towards riding and having a horse I completely blew the problem out of proportion and couldn’t see any positive in Tom. It felt like I had made the worst decision of my life buying him, he deserved to be with someone that could ride him and help reach his full potential. I spent about a week constantly debating with myself what to do with him, and whether I should even bother riding anymore. I cried at every opportunity I could because I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, as they wouldn’t understand. It really was one of the worst times of my life.

I thought it would be a good idea for someone else to take him out hunting to boost both of our confidences, however I decided not to in the end, as I didn’t think it would help. He’s such a sensitive horse, I didn’t want it to blow his brains. My friend who was going to take him hunting took him on lots of fast paced hacks and jumped some rustic fences they found when out and about, which did boost my morale about him. He had great fun out hacking and I think it did help him, so I am really pleased that he did get to experience that. I feel like I was also relieved someone else was riding him, so I didn’t have to which made me feel guilty and even worse about having a horse I didn’t want to ride.

I then had Rob Jackson the Horse Back Vet out to treat him- just as a general check up and see what he thought about him. Rob couldn’t feel anything while manipulating him but when he trotted up he could see he lacked a swing through his hips, meaning he’s not really using his hind end correctly and as he’s such a solid horse he has never felt the need to change his way of moving. He then treated him and on the trot up the second time he was already moving better! We have lots of pole work exercises to encourage him to start using his hips and its already made a massive improvement in his paces.

My mum schooled Tom for me for the first time after Rob’s treatment and she was astounded at the difference in him, she told me I needed to get on him and just see how I felt. The next day I procrastinated tacking up by doing as many jobs on the yard as I could beforehand then finally got him ready. I felt that pit of nervousness you get in your stomach and just had to tell myself to breathe before getting on. I got on and wandered over to the school, he walked in and I felt my nerves disappear. He was so chilled and relaxed! He had felt a little tense before when I had started riding him and it took him a while to relax but then it was just instantly. I walked for a bit then just decided to bite the bullet and trot- he felt amazing! His responses to my leg were just what I wanted, with no stressiness when I asked him questions he just answered as best as he could. He felt super, he stretched in his trot and worked really nicely for a few strides at a time which is more than I expected considering how green he had been in the school previously. Then I cantered him, and it was the most amazing canter I’ve possibly ever had on any horse. It was smooth, relaxed, rhythmical and just so flowing. I couldn’t stop smiling afterwards. Tom helped me discover my love of riding again. I schooled him again the day after and again he was great! I’ve since been off work and out of riding due to a repetitive strain injury on my arms, so my lovely yard owner/boss has jumped him for me and he was brilliant for her too.

My plan once my arms heal is to just enjoy having Tom. Lots of groundwork sessions; pole work, flatwork and hacking. My boss is going to jump him once a week, and my mum is happy to school him if I want her to as well. Looking back, I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to get out competing or hunting, but really, we both need to just take our time, grow together and just enjoy our training.

A huge thank you to all those people who supported me through my tough times, I cannot thank you all enough.

PS: I LOVE MY PONY!