Steps Towards an Unknown Goal

Every single step I’ve made in my life has been towards a goal that is unknown even to me. At first I wanted fame, then I wanted money. I wanted to be a doctor, and then a singer. My entire life has been filled with flipping through pages, the next one not being related to the last. Every year or so, I’d find a different hobby, and ditch my old ones. It was painful, being a jack of all trades, but master of none.

When I turned 13, I decided I wanted to try my hand at horse riding. My mother was reluctant to allow this, considering my track record of discarding hobbies after a year or two, but she allowed it. It was an expensive hobby, the boots alone were in the $70 range, and I was going to outgrow them eventually. I remember going to a tack store that had lots of things I’d need for horse riding, and my mother cringed at the price tags that laid upon the items I had picked out. She was okay with it, because she’d do anything for her child, but little did she know that this was going to be the beginning of a hobby I’d love for years to come.

The name of the first horse I rode was Eclipse. He was an Irish Cob who was incredibly lazy, some of my earliest memories of horse riding were kicking the crap out of him, just to get him to trot.

I eventually moved to another barn that was closer to my house, and this is where I learned how to jump horses. I used to beg my trainer to put a jump up and allow me to trot it. She eventually agreed I was ready, and I had the biggest smile on my face as I went over a rail that was barely raised off of the ground. I was riding Benji, a huge thoroughbred whom I loved with all my heart. I eventually moved up to riding Cuervo, he was a lot faster and harder to control, but I fell in love with him. I rode him as much as I could, and jumped him as much as I was allowed to.

Soon enough, I began talking to my mother about purchasing a horse. She was reluctant, as I was 16 by this time, so she would be paying for it. She agreed, and I went on the search for a horse.

At this point, I had switched barns again. There was a bit of drama so I moved to a barn that was just west of my house. I continued my search looking for a horse, and I settled on an Arabian originally named Arthisan, whom I renamed Tuna. He was fast, but had a good brain on him. He wouldn’t buck, but he did bolt occasionally. It was manageable, but I decided to sell him in a few years. I was 19 now, and found a horse named Stella, who is still my current horse. She’s a gorgeous, big-bodied off the track thoroughbred. She used to race, but now she enjoys a life partaking in show jumping. Show jumping is based on speed, so the fastest horse wins. It’s not really about being the fastest, but it’s about being the most strategic, and turning the tightest. Anything you can do to shave off time should be attempted, but calculate the risk. We’ve done up to 3 foot jumps together, she’s a talented horse. She has her moments, but we’ve done well together. Never did I think that an impulse decision to begin riding horses at 13 would’ve led to this.

These days, I have goals I’m working towards. I ride horses every single day, and I love it with all my heart. I have plans to eventually show in Grand Prixs. I’m passionate about riding horses, and it’s the one thing I could confidently say I excel at. People have told me I won’t make it, or that competing shouldn’t matter so much, but I will make it. I’m 20 now, and I am taking steps towards a goal that I know I will achieve. Even through the frustration of not being born into money, or not being able to afford 6 figure horses, I can still do it. It’s painful to see people my age going farther than me because they can afford more expensive horses, but it only means my achievements will mean more to me. If things were handed to me, I don’t think I’d be the person I am today, and I’m okay with that. Stella isn’t the most perfect horse, but I’m not the most perfect rider.