Petlife logo

S'Up Vocal, Enough with the Dogs

A crusade piece for Abigail Holmes

By Call Me LesPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
Jumper on his throne.


Empress Savannah Lavinnia Florentina the 1st

I am answering a call to claws!!

Dogs, dogs, dogs, BLECK. I must inform you Vocal, that when I read Abigail Holmes' latest blog, I had a hairball. My only regret is that Vocal doesn't have shoes. Show me your shoes! I feel another coming on. - Empress Savannah Lavinnia Florentina the 1st

Haven't read Abigail's work yet? Here ya go!

"Hi Vocal,

Abigail here. Did you miss me?

I have an issue I’d like to discuss today. It’s an issue I first notified you of back in January when you had the Unleashed Challenge for Dogs.. .

You’re trolling me, Vocal. I’m convinced of it. Yeah, you saw all my rants and posted another dog challenge thinking you would put me in my place and shut me up once and for all."

Well, nobody puts Abigail in the corner.

- HRH Abigail Holmes

Summary: Vocal has created another dog exclusive writing challenge.

UGH. No, I shall not include the link and help boost this nonsense to my mommy's 13k followers on Insta. Yup, that's right. No boost for you!

Instead, I shall offer you an exclusive list of the fabulousness you are missing out on by excluding the undisputed champions of the internet.

1. 84%!!!

We account for 84 flipping percent of internet traffic. Let me do the math for you: that's a measly 16% left and you just know that at least half of that remaining traffic is for lousy pictures of Kim K's ass.

2. We Make You Healthy

"The health benefits of cats

While owning any pet can provide a myriad of health benefits, there are some benefits that are specific to cats. They can:

  • Lower stress and anxiety. Cat owners know how one session of petting or playing with their cat can turn a bad day into a good one. Scientific evidence also shows that a cat’s purr can calm your nervous system and lower your blood pressure.
  • Improve your cardiovascular health. Cat owners have been reported to carry a lower risk for heart disease and stroke.
  • Prevent allergies. You always hear about cat hair being one of the most common allergens. However, if a child is exposed to cats within the first few years of life, they are more likely to develop an immune system that combats not only cat allergies but other kinds of allergens as well.
  • Reduce feelings of loneliness. Cats make great companion animals. They offer an unconditional love that can be equal to (or sometimes even greater than) many human friends and confidants. "

For purrther details, check out this article below

3. We Are More Photogenic

Case in point! Mommy made us an entire article and a Meta Page

Savannah on Granny's expensive dining set because she refused to be excluded from tea time.

Jumper aka Lil Bub in his regal majesty on his booster seat throne.

Smokey looking fabulous on the bed.

And kids love us... (sometimes a little too much, but hey, they're worth it for the tidbits they sneak us under the table).

So, in conclusion, get off your butts and come up with a contest for us!

If you don't, we promise we'll find your shoes. It's fall shedding season so the hairballs will be coming on fast and gooey!

Oh, and please don't give us any excuses... We really don't care about you or your problems. But we will eat your food.

For purrther protest reading, check out this one by Misty Rae's cat Baby.

"Whatever happened to inclusivity? What happened to fair representation? All these dog challenges. Puh-leeeeeze!

And don't tell me this isn't a dog challenge, the grand prize includes dog food, D.O.G. food! I know where I'm not wanted. But I've never been very good with so-called rules and regulations. And I certainly don't like being left out of a chance for my human to win money. Money buys me treats. I like treats."

In closing,


I shall be waiting in my cradle with the hamster.

Good day!


About the Creator

Call Me Les

Aspiring etymologist and hopeless addict of children's fiction.

If I can't liberally overuse adverbs and alliteration, I'm out!

Instagram @writelesplaymore

Vocal Spotlight



Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (9)

Sign in to comment
  • Mariann Carroll2 years ago

    Bravo, Call Me Les. Welcome to the Dear Abigail Club for Cats. Love your story very helpful to the Cat’s cause crusades on vocal for sure. Very entertaining as well. Love the photos 🥰🌹

  • Awww, Jumper, Savannah and Smokey are super adorable! Wish I could play with them. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this and loved your puns!

  • Kat Thorne2 years ago

    Love it! 😂

  • Misty Rae2 years ago

    Baby approves this message and welcomes you to the Disgruntled Feline Alliance!

  • This was a great fun read, when I go out on my walks it's the cats that come and talk to me, the dogs just bark.

  • Gerald Holmes2 years ago

    Laughed my hairy ass off, Loved it.

  • Cathy holmes2 years ago

    Love it. You tell them, Savannah

  • Babs Iverson2 years ago

    Purr-fect!!! Mew-sic to my ears!!! Meow! Meow!!!💖💕

  • Caroline Jane2 years ago


Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.