Road dogs

Interviewer: Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. I’m here to talk about your role and why You think that you deserve the empawyee of the month? How did you come to be in the employment of Ms. Portman?

Loki: What’s employment? Who’s Ms. Portman? Does she mean mom? Are there treats? Scoot over, I can’t see.

Honey: Shut it runt! She’s here to talk to me. You don’t know anything.

Honey: I didn’t have a very good life before mom came and got me. People were really mean to me. They hit me and kicked me and I was really scared. The day she saved me I was wearing a harness that was so tight it cut into my skin. I was put in this big truck with a bed in the back and I didn’t know what was happening. She talked real quiet to me and cut the harness off and then she just rubbed me and held me until I went to sleep. I would get scared whenever she left me and bark a lot! My bark sounds scary but I just don’t want her to go.

Loki: Me next! Me next!

Honey: shut it fuzz ball! This is my story!

Loki: It is not! Mom got me as a baby! I picked her when she was visiting my other human mom and my dog mom. I followed her around all day so she took me with her when she left. I’m the cutest!!!

Honey: The dumbest!

Loki: She loves me bestest!

Honey: You chew up everything, I’m sure you will be fired soon

Loki: What’s fired? Are there treats?

Interviewer: Can you tell me what your day looks like? What your job as a “road dog” entails?

Honey: I mainly work security. While mom sleeps I lay under the covers as close to her as possible so nobody can get near her and she can’t escape without me knowing.

Loki: Bed hog!

Honey: Im on high alert for intruders until morning. Then we go on walkies where I provide security, check the dog news and leave reports for other dogs.

Loki: what are you talking about? All you do is pee and sniff stuff!

Honey: Do you ever stop talking runt! After morning walkies mom does people stuff. Sometimes she shares her food with us. She gets this yucky black stuff to drink and then the truck starts bumping and she turns this big round thing and I nap. It’s very boring. When she stops we go on walkies and I provide security. Sometimes people come to the door and she talks to them and they hand each other papers.

Loki: I like to eat the papers!

Interviewer: Loki what is your role?

Loki: I’m cute! I get scratches! And treats! And I do hourly booger checks even when mom tells me not to put my tongue in her nose.

Honey: You are so useless!

Loki: I also try to attack everything. It’s all out to get her! She says no and stop it a lot. What’s no and stop it?

Honey: Do you even have a brain?

Loki: Take it back! I’m gonna bite your face off! What’s a brain? Grrrrr….

Interviewer: Well here comes your mom. Thank you for your time.

Mom: What are you two doing? Honey stop chewing on Loki’s head! Loki take your sisters leg out of your mouth! It’s time to go truckin!

Honey and Loki: grrr bark snarl….Are there treats?