Rescued the Rescuer

I have always been the rescuer of animals. It started with the feral kittens at a barn in the town I lived in. My mom, when asked if I could bring a kitten home, would always say no until the day I brought one of the kittens home from the barn and I learned that if I didn’t ask and just came home with the cute bundle of fur, she would acquiesce. I hated to see hurting, picked on animals and people. I related to them so much as I had dealt with bullying and sexual abuse at young ages. I knew that if I were these animals, in these situations, I would want to be rescued too. In fact, I did want to be rescued and the animals were always such a balm to my broken soul.

But even the unconditional love of an animal could not prevent the progression of the disease of addiction and for many years, that disease progressed and the power of drugs and alcohol overtook my life. I continued to try and save various animals during some of the worst of my addiction and over and over again, I failed to fulfill a commitment each time.

Real commitment started when I entered recovery for my addiction. I worked hard on myself to be the person I wanted to be and after about a year, I got a new apartment in a new town and realized something was missing. I did not have a pet in my life. I knew this time I had to do it differently and put my request out to Facebook for kittens.

I hadn’t thought about a rescue. A friend of mine reached out and asked if I could rescue his cat. In a very low point in his life, he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of a 4 story building and was in a hospital with a long road of recovery. His cat needed a home and I had a home that needed a cat. Knowing that I was able to rescue a cat from a situation of sorrow and pain when I had been the one abandoning my cats to the shelter when I was in my own sorrow and pain of addiction filled my soul. I committed to this process of being a good pet owner and Powder came into my life.

Over the next 8 years, Powder was with me on my recovery journey. She was a loving companion and befriended anyone I had come over to visit. She had a heart full of play and fun and made me laugh on many occasions and heard me cry on others. When she started getting the “Old lady” issues of hyperthyroidism, I panicked that I would lose her but I was able to show up as a committed pet owner and do for her what I had not been able to do for past pets and it helped to heal the hate I held against myself. She made life easier by being in it, not harder. I feel as though the God of my understanding knew that I was ready and picked me the absolutely perfect pet and she was perfect until the day God took her back. Powder, named by her former owner after the 1995 movie by the same name. Powder from the movie had a special ability to heal the sick. My time with Powder healed me, rescued me, loved me and left me with a beautiful story full of memories. I am forever grateful for the time I was gifted. Rescued.