Pets and Breakups

The hardest part about my breakup wasn’t what you might think at all. No matter how badly my 3-year relationship ended, one thing that makes it even more heartbreaking was the loss of a friend I had gotten to know.

When I met my ex, things moved very fast. Almost too fast when I think about it all now, he is someone who is very openly affectionate. And I can’t deny he was very excited about introducing me to his family and his friends. About 2 months into the relationship I had gone on a few dinners with his family, and things were progressing nicely. One day he asked if I’d like to spend the weekend over at his family’s house. I am a very shy and socially awkward person sometimes and honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to the meeting even though it was a very good gesture. My friends told me it’s a sign of commitment, taking someone you had been dating for a few months to see your family. But I dreaded the whole thing and the whole night I found myself being anxious at the thought of saying the wrong thing or his parents not liking me. We were in an interracial relationship, and as much as I stayed optimistic that his parents wouldn’t mind that, there’s always that fear that his parents might find our relationship slightly odd.

The day finally came and we travelled about 2 hours down to his family’s house. When I got there I was pleasantly surprised at the sheer amount of hospitality. Everyone was so kind and I instantly felt at ease. One of the best parts of that weekend was meeting the family’s two cats, Mia and Fitz. Before this, I honestly had no experience with cats at all. In fact, I tend to avoid them altogether. I think they’re incredibly cute with their big eyes and fluffy coat, but I usually find them elusive and a bit standoffish, when I see them strolling around my neighbourhood. I had also heard many stories of cats being unemotional in comparison to other pets, and how they see their owners as their slaves, who only exist to feed and give them cuddles. Fitz did fit this description, and he was very hard to pin down. Although I never really got to know him as much, and perhaps didn’t form as close of a connection to him like I did with Mia.

Immediately I met Mia, I instantly took a liking to her. She was a very old cat and had a decrease in mobility. The majority of the time she would sit in front of the TV and watch shows with my ex’s stepdad. But once I got close to her she was very happy to jump on my laps and stay there for long periods of time. She made me feel very welcome and at home and preoccupied away from my anxiety and overthinking. Safe to say instantly we became friends. I visited countless times after this and we only grew closer and closer, she would drool when I’m holding her and make the cutest sounds, lie on her belly and allow me to give her scratches. Every time I visited I would go straight to her and she would calm my anxiety instantly and make me feel very welcome. I didn’t have any pets, and so Mia became my pet who I had now adopted as a friend.

Unfortunately for me when my relationship ended, it was a double blow. It didn’t end in a civil way where I felt welcome enough to take a 2-hour drive to see Mia, and after 3 years of getting to know my cute furry friend, I was now going to lose her as well as my partner. For months I wished I never even met her in the first place or gotten too comfortable. I guess I had assumed the relationship would last much longer and the thought of losing her hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But I can say the end of my relationship was much more painful as a result of this and was probably the worst part of it all.

But as much as things didn’t work out the way I hoped it will, I will value every moment I spent with Mia. She is a testament to the fact that feeling love from a pet can really help with stress and anxiety. It can really help with feeling comfortable in a place you might feel you’re not welcome and I’ll be forever grateful to her. Since I’m no longer in contact with my ex, I have no idea how she’s doing, or if she’s even alive. But once in a while, I’m tempted to break the lack of contact to ask about my old friend, although I do know that will be a very bad decision to make especially now that I’m trying to move on.