Old Australian Shepperd

Lately, I haven't been okay. Life loses color as you get older and as the colorful world I once knew as a kid fades away into a dim gray. One can't help but wonder why things can't be like they used to. I think it's because as I have gotten older I live more in my mind than I do in reality. Constantly worrying about hypotheticals that may never happen, worried about aspects of my life that I deem unsatisfactory yet I know I am trying my hardest.

I have this 12-year old Australian Shepperd and we are best friends. He's an old boy now but I still remember when I found him, he was abandoned as a newborn by what I presume was the previous owner that didn't want to care for him. So there he was left, right in the middle of a thorny bush. Talk about cruel huh? I knew this act of cruelty was the universes way of calling out to me, that day when I found this terrified pup, was the day I learned what it truly meant to care for something you love. It was a blessing in disguise, I will be honest at first I could think of nothing that I wanted less than to care for a dog. I was already going through a lot on my own, how could I care for something as complex as this furry creature that whimpered right before my eyes?

Broke and in a small town that felt like I could never escape, I barely had enough money to feed myself. I struggled with the thought that if I brought home this puppy I may not be able to give it the quality of life it deserves. Despite the negative thoughts, I knew I couldn't leave him alone. I still remember the first night when I took him home, I rationed the little food I had left and split it between both of us. That night I knew I had a long road ahead of me, but something changed in me that day. No longer was I drifting throughout life like a ghost, I had a purpose. Something as simple as this dog lit a fire in my heart, a fire that burned with purpose. That night I found love, and I also found myself.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. Unfortunately, my financial situation never bettered despite the countless attempts that I tried of bettering my education, work history, and skillset. Well... that is until today.

I found this book in the mail. It's an old small black book that belonged to my great-grandmother. It was sealed shut with a note that read: "When the time comes." You see my grandmother recently passed away, we weren't on the best terms, she was a big-time hoarder and my previous living situation was with her. You could probably guess how something like that could put a strain on a relationship. On her will, it requested that this black book be given to me at the time of her death. "When the time comes..." I kept mumbling under my breath just trying to grasp a clue on what that might even mean. I was so impatient I couldn't wait any longer, I had a full disregard for the note she left and opened the book.

$20,000. More money than I could ever have made in my life working in this forsaken little town that felt more like a makeshift prison. It's funny, all my life I struggled for money. I would often drift off to sleep thinking about the thought of large sums of money just like this one. But now that I have it in my hands, I feel the same. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe some celebratory party? That's ridiculous, even if I somehow was friends with every single person in this stupid town, that still wouldn't nearly be a "party." I guess I thought I would be happier, but here I am seeing shades of dim gray from what I used to see as beautiful colors of vibrant harmony. The only thing that brings me close to this feeling is my furry best friend, and I think that's because he never cared when I was poor, and he for sure doesn't care about this money now either. All he knows is that he loves me and that I am there for him. Money can't buy that.

Tonight was without sleep, I lay awake looking at the ceiling with my buddy snuggled up next to me. My mind speeding with thoughts on what to do with this money. Food is an obvious buy, maybe I could treat myself with some house remodeling? It's probably time I got my moldy drywall replaced.

Well.. life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. Sometimes you think something is important, then something actually important happens that makes you forget about everything else. Some things in life make you forget why you were even sad in the first place. You had something you love, they had health. Sometimes, money can't buy everything.

I woke up the next morning to my dog very ill, I rushed him to a local pediatrics clinic since there was no veterinarian in my town. There I sat in the waiting room holding my best friend, I looked down at him and he had his eyes closed and seemed like he was in so much pain. I comforted him while we waited for the doctor. "Sir the doctor is ready to see you," the receptionist said. I stood up and followed the receptionist down a long hallway, framed pictures of old oil-painted rose bushes and various other plants hung on the wall. We approached the end of the hallway and took a sharp left into a room that contained a sink, a plastic chair, and an examining table. Everything was in very poor condition and looked as if the interior hasn't been updated in some time. "The doctor should be with you shortly," the receptionist said with an almost bored tone and shut the door before I could blurt out a "Thank you."

For some reason, the doctor took a really long time. You would think rushing through the door in a panicked state with a dog in obvious poor health would raise a flag for urgency, especially along with the fact that I was probably the only patient this pediatrics clinic saw in weeks, but despite the receptionist closing the door 45 minutes ago, there was no doctor in sight. So much for "The doctor should be with you shortly." I was obviously frustrated with the situation and decided it was time I took control of my dog's health and left the room to find the doctor. I walked down the hall in an almost anxious state making sure to turn the knobs on every door in sight, but still no doctor to be found. Why does a pediatrics clinic in a town with a population like ours need so many rooms in the first place? Visibly annoyed I stomped my way towards reception. "I have been waiting for nearly an hour what is taking so lo-" I was cut off mid-sentence when I heard a loud thud coming from the examining room. I locked eyes with the receptionist and both of our heads jolted in the direction of the noise, we both ran down the hall.

You wouldn't believe what we saw. There my dog lays on the ground, whimpering in pain. It seemed as if he fell from the examining table that I left him on. "This is all your peoples' fault, get the doctor now!" I yelled. Moments later this man comes sprinting through the door in a panicked state, he was still putting on his white coat, obviously not prepared. "Sorry for the wait sir my name is Doctor Mike." he reached out his hand towards mine for a handshake. "What are you doing wasting time? Help my dog!" I exclaimed with anger. Mike then leaned down on one knee to get a better look, he used his stethoscope to examine the heart and lungs. He then proceeded to check the eyes and ears, after some silence he told me he was going to check the temperature to make sure there wasn't a fever. It came out to 107, which the doctor explained was very alarming and temperatures this high for K-9s could turn out to be fatal.

At the end of the day, this was a pediatrics clinic in a small town and there was very little they could do. I was sent home with a very sick dog and some advice on how to lower his fever: "Soak a towel in cool water and wipe around the paws and ears." I did just that and as the days progressed the fever got slightly better but it was obvious that this was no ordinary illness. I didn't want to admit it but I knew deep down that the living days for my best friend were running dry. I was laying in bed with him the next night and I couldn't help but look at the black book inherited by my grandmother, that is when it hit me. I knew exactly what to spend this money on.

All my life my dog and I have been in this same small town, seeing the same people, the same places, eating the same foods, and living our days on autopilot. When I found him on the day he got abandoned, I wanted to give him the quality life he deserved, and only now that I have this money could I truly do that for him. I grabbed the black book and slipped it inside a backpack, after packing food, water, and necessities I drove 82 miles to the nearest airport. It was a small airport with only one small Learjet 35 cargo plane, this plane was solely responsible for stocking our small town and the surrounding area with livable supplies. I had an inside connection with the pilot from a mutual acquittance of ours and convinced him to fly me somewhere if I slipped him $400. He told me he was flying north across the Canadian border and would be stopping at Vancouver, a city with a population of 600,000 and that he could take me there.

So all three of us got onto the plane and we were off. My dog laid on my lap and when I would look down at him I could still see the small puppy I brought home 12 years ago. He seemed weak, so I took my hand and gently laid it on his head, he loves that. I leaned my head against the window and looked out and wondered what a city with so many people would even look like, in the midst of my day-dream I fell asleep.

We landed and got off the plane. I thanked and paid the pilot and then flagged a taxi, I told the driver to take me to the most populated part of the city that he could think of.

Then there we were, the sight was amazing. So many people of all of different sizes and appearances, and for a moment I saw my dog's eyes light up with colorful vibrant. The best part of all this was, mine was too, I don't remember the last time I couldn't see gray. I decided right then that I would use my funds to stay here for a while. I knew deep down that my best friend didn't have long, yet it felt like at this moment that time stood still. For just a moment it felt like that day I found him all alone and scared when our destinies got intertwined by the universe; beautiful colors of vibrant harmony, and I was in love once again.