nose kisses and kitchen dances

There are times in all our lives when certain extraordinary people burst through our heavily barricaded doors straight into our hearts and completely change us forever. I am incredibly thankful to say that I’ve had a small handful of those kind of people in my life. And yet, if I’m being completely honest (and I try to be as frequently as possible), the sweet angel who has truly shaped my most important, formative years on this wildly changeable Earth thus far, was my family's dog.

Now, I feel I must provide a disclaimer at this point because I am achingly aware that the story that is to follow is going to begin a little more than just a little sad, but please stick with me if you can bear it, because I promise it’s one of the happiest stories of my life.

My sweet family dog, Pepper (a gorgeous Australian Shepherd mix), let me and my family know that it was time for her to leave us all behind in late October of 2021 - when the leaves had already changed and there was a constant chill in the air. It was only two months before her fifteenth birthday. Her passing has been one of the most devastating family events we’ve had to go through. Even though it still hurts to think about (I’m ugly-crying over an absurdly large mug of hot chocolate as I write this), I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to say that because she really was the perfect dog. Trust me, I know everyone says that about their dogs and it’s completely cliché because how could everyone’s dog be perfect? But damn it, I promise you she was and I promise you there isn’t a single person who says that about their pet and doesn’t truly believe it. So you should, too.

From the very first day my eldest brother rescued her and brought her home to us, we all fell inevitably and absolutely in love with her. We got her for nearly fifteen years. Fifteen years of nose kisses (because she was a proper lady and didn’t kiss on the mouth) and kangaroo jumps (are you imagining a kangaroo jumping? Perfect, ‘cause that’s exactly what she looked like when begging) and kitchen dances (her favorite trick to do for treats). She was there when I graduated 8th grade, high school, and college. She was there through every awkward stage of trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged and she was there to offer cuddles when the figuring out got a little too hard. And, god, was she the Cuddle Queen. She would let you lay your head on her stomach for hours.

We, on the other hand, were there from when she was only a few months old, and would nip at our heels because she thought we were all sheep that needed to be herded through the house; to when she was an elderly lady and we could never quite figure out if she was actually a little bit deaf or if she had simply developed selective hearing (it was definitely the selective hearing, no one tells an elderly lady what to do!).

I remember how insanely fast she was, and how she could jump clear over our fence (which required us to promptly install a higher-reaching fence), and could catch anything you threw at her. She was always down for anything - she just wasn't a fan of the car ride to get to the doing of anything, but once we got there she would lead the way and say hello to every person who would let her. She came with us to the park, on camping trips, on hiking trips, anywhere outdoors, count her in! Except water, she despised water, despite our best efforts to gently coax her in. Hey, can’t knock her for knowing what she likes and what she wants to stay the hell away from!

One year, we actually managed to bring her up to Wisconsin with us. Our whole extended family lives up there and we live in Georgia, so we never really brought her because, like I mentioned, she was not a fan of car rides. But we just knew if we could get her up there once in her lifetime, she’d have a ball because we always stayed at the family farm. Uh, farm + dog? C’mon, you do the math here. We managed to get some doggy meds from our vet to calm her and drove the entire 15 hours to little farm-town Wisconsin with our sleepy Pepper in our laps.

If I could’ve captured the unfettered joy that sweet girl had when we got out of the car and she took her first steps in the snow-covered country! Bliss! Oh, we spent hours walking through the bluffs and fields with her winter sweater and snow booties on. She was master-explorer, leader of the pack, and we followed her wherever she wanted to go. Every day the entire week we were there that December, it was really all about Pepper, and none of us minded even the tiniest bit. If all dogs really do go to heaven, I know that’s what Pepper’s heaven looks like now: snow-covered farmland, rolling hills, and open fields as far as the (doggy) eye can see.

I know I gave a lifetime of memories, and you probably only wanted one, but I also know you can relate if you’ve had that life-altering, perfect pet. I am so incredibly grateful, and always will be, that she got to be ours, that we had the pleasure of being her caretakers while she was on this Earth. We were the lucky ones Pepper, and we will love and miss you forever. Sweet dreams, sweet girl.