My Name Is Phoebe

Hi, my name is Phoebe. I am the ruling queen of my domain, and I'm also two. I have my two-legged loyal and faithful subject who I call Nani, running about my castle, caring for me and other my four-legged.... acquaintances? If even that. All I know about them is that I'm royal and they aren't. How do I know? They're forced to do tricks for treats! Forced! Peasants. Then there is my mom. She has only two legs, too. She lets me sleep in the bed with her, but does not like any of the peasants to sleep with her. That's another thing that makes me special. Mom likes to take me everywhere, likes to walk around a big puddle, to the place with all the food and treats, to the thing that washes whatever she drives around in and she even puts pretty outfits on me.

Moving on to my...acquaintances. Baelfire—he looks like me, only a little bit taller, not so long, and has a lot of energy, unlike me. He jumps the gates mom uses to keep us out of certain places. He is Nani's favorite. Then there is Thibodeaux. His name sounds like TI-BA-DO. Mom and Nani call him Tippy for short. He's rather small, he is light-colored and very very fluffy. He's also old and hates basically everybody, but he loves to chase the ball and hog the food. His prime time to hog the food bowl is whenever I'm hungry.

Then there's Lilly. She's small like the rest of us, with scraggly and patchy hair. Mom said her patchy hair is because she itches. Whatever. She never gets out of bed, and she's a little bit younger than Thibodeaux. Lazy.

Lastly for the peasants, a baby that looks just like me. She's adopted, but mom told me not to tell her. Her name is Minnie, Nani calls her Minty, like that awful cream my mom puts in my teeth sometimes. Mom says she is a sausage, like me. But she gets on my nerves sometimes. For one, she thinks she has free rein over this castle like myself. Two, she tries to hog Nani and mom's attention when they are clearly loving on me. After all though, she is fun to play with and sometimes she snuggles with me. I love her like she was my sister. Then we have two, straight from hell, snag you if they can, cats. I think they're called cats. That's what mom and Nani call them. They were here before I arrived and ever since I've been here, I've been fighting to rid my domain of these creatures. The really fluffy one plays with all the other babies but me. I wonder what her problem is. All and all, I think Minnie is my favorite. I have to write when mom and Nani are away, or else they will think I can do things on my own. I don't want that. I'll try to write soon.

Love, your royal sausage, Phoebe.