My lockdown buddy

My Lockdown Buddy

In February 2020 I got the keys to my new home after splitting up from my partner. Having lived with partners and flatmates all my adult life this was to be my first experience of living alone! What an adventure! Except that I wasn’t alone. I had my cat - my beautiful little princess, Sheema.

It took a few weeks for the flat to be ready for me to move in. I needed new carpets. Every room needed a lick of paint. I needed furniture. So by the time Sheema and I moved in, it was March. And less than a week later, the UK went into lockdown. So my first experience of living alone was in the middle of a pandemic.

Fortunately, Sheema is a very good teacher. She has always been an indoor cat so knows all about isolation. She is a pedigree snow spotted Bengal and her original owners didn’t let her out because pedigree pets are valuable and can get stolen. She then escaped for two weeks. During this time it appears that she was attacked or had some sort of an accident because when she was found most of her teeth were missing. When she was returned home, she must have smelled different because she was rejected by the other cats in her home. So she ended up in foster care and then ended up with me! And she has continued to be an indoor cat.

So we were in isolation together. For Sheema it was down to her pedigree and her trauma and for me it was down to relationship breakdown and a global pandemic. What a pair! So we were licking our wounds together.

One of the things I learned early in the lockdown was the importance of routine. Sheema has a routine of demanding breakfast as soon as she hears me getting up in the morning. Unfortunately this also includes demanding breakfast if I have just gotten up in the night to go to the toilet. She then finds somewhere to sleep. This is where variety becomes important. We must find the balance between routine and variety. Sheema likes to sleep on the rug, the chair, the dirty washing basket, my bed - pretty much anywhere except for her own bed. She can sleep for hours, but manages to get up and make a noise with her toys at the most inopportune moments.

It has been a strange time for everyone. For some of us it was like a long wet Sunday afternoon, furloughed from work but with nowhere to go. For some of us it was a frightening and traumatic time of working on the Covid frontline in healthcare or providing essential services working in supermarkets. For others, like myself, it was home working and learning technological skills that I never knew I wanted to learn. I am a psychotherapist and a mindfulness teacher and within a couple of weeks of going into lockdown I was leading meditations on Facebook and seeing therapy clients on Zoom.

It was stressful at times, carrying the stresses and traumas of so many people, whilst at the same time living through the same pandemic. Covid has been a collective trauma. And yet I know I am one of the lucky ones. I haven’t lost anyone and, although I caught Covid in January this year, my symptoms were mild and I have had no lasting effects.

Lockdown has impacted our mental health. For some of us this has been positive - we have learned to slow down. For others it has exacerbated a sense of social anxiety and isolation. At times my work felt heavy. And those were the moments when the cat would pop into shot, occasionally interrupting a serious online discussion with a plaintive meow and occasionally jumping up behind me and clawing at my head. I am choosing to tell myself that this is some sort of affectionate cat code rather than an attack. Either way, these little moments bring me back into the present.

Sheema has taught me to value the simple things. She can always find a sunbeam to sleep in. For me, lockdown has been a time of quiet reflection, particularly in the early months. Once my working from home was over for the day, there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. I learned the value of being unproductive. I curled up with a book or I curled up with Sheema. Although she ten years old, she is still playful and I often end my days, not in the pub with friends, but on my hands and knees in the living room teasing the cat with her favourite shoelace.

Now, as restrictions begin to ease, I have to admit to some ambivalence. I am enjoying returning to pubs and restaurants. I am enjoying seeing loved ones again. And yet it is also overwhelming. Sheema is curious about everything and is also scared of most things and is totally ok with that. Yesterday she decided to climb the netting on the balcony and became stuck. She meowed for help and I lifted her down. She reminds me every day that it is good to try new things, it is ok to be afraid and it is ok to ask for help. So I am returning to face to face work and one of the highlights of my day, is returning home to my princess!