My Dark Angel

People hear it all the time, Dogs are mans best friend. For some people, this is true - for others it is not.

I happen to be one of those people who believe you can have a deep connection with any animal, but that animal has to be special. What I mean is, anyone can own a dog and say, my dog is the best and helps me when I feel sad, but will your dog be able to help someone who is clinically depressed? Could your dog tap into that other-worldly darkness people feel every day and be able to bring them out of it, or would your dog spaz out and jump all over them making them feel worse than before?

I've seen all sorts of animals help people with different issues such as donkeys, horses, llamas, monkeys, chickens, ducks, dogs, and many more including Cats.

People peg cats as emotionless, aggressive, petty, cold animals. The truth is, just like your pet is one of a kind and knows how to bring you out of your low places, cats can do the same thing. Like people, they hold a different personality you have to learn to live with, but as people dealing with Karen's and Becky's all day, the last thing people want to come home to is another needy Karen in a furry form, screaming at them for food, and to change their littler, just to be dismissed after they have eaten to go clean themselves and take a nap. That's why the cat has to be special.

When I first saw my cat, I was at Petco with my boyfriend. He was gushing over this chubby orange and white kitten as it played with a feather toy in the regular hyper kitten way. But off in the corner, there was a little black kitten watching the orange kitten play. Only watching. He made no attempt to take the toy away, or fight with the other kitten over it, and he made no advances towards my boyfriend for attention. I asked the worker if I could hold the black kitten and she quickly explained that he was a rescue animal that was found in a crate on the side of the road. She explained that a lot of people had come in to the store looking for a cat and he was always overlooked because he was shy and black, but the moment I held him I felt a connection. He looked up at me with his big yellow eyes and lightly meowed at me, as if he was using his voice for the first time. He was so small and shaky on his feet, and I assumed he was the runt of the litter having owned a lot of cats in my past as a teen but it was the worker who confirmed it.

I sat with that kitten for a long time as my boyfriend continued to play with the orange one, and then he asked me if I wanted one of them. From our many conversations he knew I loved cats, and he also thought he knew which cat I was going to choose, the orange one. To his surprise he was wrong, I wanted the small, sheepish black kitten. He tried to talk me out of it saying, "But this one loves to play and he so chubby and cute. That one wouldn't play at all, and he's probably going to hide all the time." But my mind was set, and so was my heart.

At that point in time I didn't realize how special this cat was until he was older and we had moved into our second apartment. I had suffered a severe concussion and couldn't leave the house because I was also suffering from amnesia. After two months of being stuck in our town home, unable to go for walks or drive to see my parents, depression set in quickly. I was a very active person, I liked going on long walks and just being outside, but now I felt like a bird in cage watching all the other birds take to the sky while I was stuck flapping around in my small space.

I had taken myself upstairs to do what we call now, ugly crying. I was sobbing my heart out into my pillow feeling alone, and hopeless, then my cat Derpsy came to me. He jumped on the bed and sat in front of me and did nothing for a few moments, then he meowed at me. When I didn't look up he started pawing at my pillow gently so I would look up at him. When I did he meowed at me again, his big yellow eyes were calm and loving and he continued to paw at my pillow until I discarded it. He then came to me and sat in my lap and stood up on his back feet and put his head under my chin like he was hugging me and purred. He kept pressing his head into the underside of my chin, over and over as he purred deeply.

As my tears continued to flow onto his raven fur he didn't seem to mind getting wet. He didn't move one inch as I held him. This lasted for five minutes or longer. I'd never had a cat who would do this for me, except for my cat Marty who had passed away back in 2009. She was special also in a way I couldn't describe. Only when I felt my inner darkness receding is when Derpsy left my lap, but he didn't leave Me. He sat on the bed with me for a while as I pet him and talked to him, and every time after that day when I feel sad, or my anxiety is getting to be too much, he comes and sits with me. We love on each other and he makes me feel better for a while.

I told my mother about Derpsy and what he did for me, and she was blown away. She said, "He's definitely not your typical cat." I agree with her statement whole heartedly. He isn't your A-typical cat.

I know a lot of people will read this and say, "He only wanted attention, that's why he came to you because that's what cats do." And you are absolutely wrong. When I am fine, Derpsy will do his own thing. He sunbathes in the sunshine, he plays with my boyfriends new cat Tiger, he watches the fish in our fish tank, or he people watches out the bay windows of our home. What he doesn't do is sit with me on my lap and sleep. The only time he comes to sit with me is when I am in dire need for comfort.

I don't take depression or anxiety lightly because I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Doctors told me more than once that I should get an emotion support animal, and that it would probably be a dog to help me get through my "hard moments." They looked at me in disbelief when I told them I already had an emotional support animal, but it wasn't a dog, it was my cat. Several people also told my boyfriend while we were looking for a new apartment, that Derpsy wasn't a Real emotional support animal because he was a cat. What they didn't know is that Derpsy is a registered emotional support animal. He has a diploma and a plastic wallet card that I keep with me at all times.

I can't say whether or not you will be able to find a cat like Derpsy in your lifetime, but they are out there. He is my furry black angel, and I am so blessed to have him in my life.