My Cat is Crazy

Cats are arguably the most common and loved pet in the whole world. They are soft, cuddly, and totally think they are superior to us. I mean, in a way, they kind of are. We humans take them in, we feed them, we clean their litter boxes, and we live for their affection. Cats literally have the BEST setup. We cater to their every whim, and we don't expect them to do anything to earn it that they wouldn't do naturally.

Some cats are just the sweetest, most loving creatures on the entire planet. Mine, however, is not. He seems to both love and hate me. Some days he acts like I am the biggest piece of garbage on the planet, other days he acts like he will die if I don't spend hours cuddling him. The kicker? He purrs either way. He purrs while sitting on my lap, and he purrs while he's walking between my legs as I try to carry a full laundry basket down the stairs. He is crazy, but man, I love my cat.

Cayde was adopted from the local animal shelter. He was one of many, many black cats they had there. I interacted with them all, but when I got to little Cayde, he just looked at me. I put my finger through the bars and he licked it, and then starting meowing. It was the most pitiful meow anyone has ever heard. I was instantly suckered. We told the lady he was the one we wanted, filled out the paperwork, and brought him home.

The first few days were blissful. Cayde would snuggle up in my lap, and purr. If I got up, he would patiently wait for me to come back. After that honeymoon phase though, that's when I realized my cat may just want to kill me. At the very least, he wanted me injured to the point I could no longer leave the couch.

It started with tripping. You know, that thing cats do, where they walk between your feet mid-stride. It wasn't just on flat surfaces though. It was any time I was trying to move from point A to point B. Then he started attacking my head through the curtains. Not just batting, but face full of claws. Of course I would react, and then the little bastard would crawl into my lap, lick my fingers, and purr. This went on for months. Finally, I had enough and started ignoring him.

That made things worse. Cayde decided since I was going to ignore him, he would just constantly follow me around. When that didn't get him as much attention as he wanted, he started knocking things over for the fun of it. Drinks, collectibles, whatever he could find. To keep him out of trouble, I started giving in to his demands. Of course, he took that to mean that I was once again going to give him all the attention he wanted. When I didn't, he would go back to his old tricks.

I have been Cayde's human for almost a year now. He went from a ten ounce kitten to a thirteen pound beast in the time I've had him. He jumps at my butt. He scratches and bites me when I don't "pet him with purpose". He sits in front of the food bowl all day, and leaves the mice he catches in the dog's water bowl. I have been successfully tripped down the stairs four times. Despite all that, I feel so wonderful when he decides he wants to be loved. I get the warm and fuzzies while he looks at me like I'm something he just threw up. He's crazy, but I'd miss his craziness if it wasn't around.