Maggie

13 years ago I followed my dad into a door. Behind this door there were multiple dogs of all ages barking and crying. They wanted to be adopted and have their own home. They wanted to be loved by someone that would care for them and become their best friend.

As I peered into each cage, I saw this scrawny little pup that I just had to have. She was the cutest little thing ever. I wanted a puppy that I could hold and cuddle, but that was not what she turned out to be.

As I held my first puppy in my arms, I looked up to my dad and mom with this huge smile on my face. I was so excited to finally have a puppy that I could hold when I was scared. Someone that would be there with me through troubling times. Someone to show me that the world isn't as scary as I made it out to be. I tried to look over the tall counter to see if my dad was almost done signing the papers, but I was too short to see what I wanted to. A little later he was finally done and as we started to walk out the door, I thought I heard someone say, "goodbye Maggie", so I had to name her Maggie.

On our way back home with the newest addition to the family, Maggie growled at me. I thought I was just hearing things and ignored it, but when we got home, she made sure she left my arms and never got back in them. She was a Jack Russel Beagle mix and had a mind of her own.

When I would get in trouble as a kid my mom would sometimes call me Maggie on purpose to get me to learn that what I was doing was not right. Maggie was a great dog, but she did not like to be held. She wanted to be alpha over the other dogs, but she did not get that role until Buddy (our first rescued dog) passed away. By that time we had a few other dogs and Maggie would bite the other male dogs ears to put them into submission. Have you ever seen the movie Snow Dogs? The main actor had to show the alpha that he was in control and the alpha was supposed to submit to the human? He bit his ear to show him that he was in control. It worked. It isn't something that is bad, it is just how dogs show who is in control and it's not like they draw blood or anything. One time, I wanted to see if I could do the same thing with Maggie that the actor did on Snow Dogs. I got on all fours in the kitchen floor slowly picked up her ear and looked her in the eyes and stood up as quickly as possible. She definitely was the alpha!

When I was old enough to move out, Maggie became my mom's best friend. She helped my mom when I wasn't there with her. She was her best friend and when we lost her this past year, it hit my mom more than anyone else. Maggie was once my dog, but turned into my sister. She became the dog that I knew would be there for my mom when she needed someone.

The crazy thing was, I got Maggie because I wanted a dog to hold, but the only time I have held her was the first day we got her and the last day of her life. I held it together for my mom. I hadn't lived at home for over 5 years and as dogs grow older I try my best to dis-attach from them so it doesn't hurt so much. That's what I had done with Maggie, but in the last few months of her life, I tried to spend as much time with her as I could.

It hurt losing her, but I can't imagine what my mom had to go through. She not only lost her dog daughter and best friend, but lost her daughter too. I moved all the way to NYC and I am starting to realize that I don't show my mom the love she deserves. It is always about me. What I am going through, but I never just let my mom talk to me about everything. She used to be able to tell Maggie everything and she no longer has her.

I am going to try my best to change that and show my mom how much I love her instead of always telling her. Actions speak louder than words and we can all learn that from the way our beloved dogs show us unconditional love.