Animals of the Internet
Animals of the Internet

Life of Lyon

by Alicia Lenea 15 days ago in cat

Lyon Jingles Hootowl Young

Life of Lyon

What's up peeps?!? Did ya miss me? In my last post I said that we would get to my ridiculous name later, so I guess we will get to it now. But before we do, I've got to be straight with you. The last post had some errors that my mommy noticed a little too late. I didn't let her edit the post and she didn't get to fix the errors. There weren't that many, but hey! What can I say? I am just a cat. I mean, it's amazing I know how to write in the first place. Don't you think a few errors by me are better than no errors by a human?? I think so.

My name is crazy stupid, but at least it has meaning. Let's look at it one name at a time. There is no way you can take all the craziness in all at once.

Lyon:

Did you notice that it's not spelled correctly? I never knew that until I heard my mommy on the phone with someone. She had to spell it out for them and say that it was spelled incorrectly.

Do you remember when I said that Scary Man lived with us in the huge bug house? Yes? Well, mommy thought he was a good guy and not a scary guy and before she found out who he really was they planned to move to Arkansas. They went on a visit there once before I was born and apparently they loved it. Mommy wanted to go to the University in town. Mommy always talks about Universities. I guess it's a place to learn something. I'm not too sure, but Mommy seems to love them. The University that Mommy wanted to go to when they moved was called Lyon College, hence my name. What I don't get is why its called a Lyon University and Lyon College. Or is it one of the two? And what is an Arkansas?? I have no idea, but I guess Mommy must know. If she doesn't then she is not as smart as she thinks she is. That's okay. I never thought she was smart anyway. I am much smarter! Much!

Anyway, things didn't work out as planned and Mommy and Scary Man split up and we didn't go to the university, college, lyon.... Whatever the heck it is. Since I already knew my name by the time plans fell apart, I had to keep Lyon as my first name.

You know that I am so smart that I knew Mommy and Scary Man would never work out. I am glad that eventually she listened to what I had been saying all along. She really isn't the smartest.

Jingles:

I was given this name by my mommy's dad. Lets call him Punk. Mommy never figured out what I am supposed to call him, but I have heard her call him Punk a lot. So, if it's good enough for her I guess it will have to do for me, because I can't think of anything better at the moment.

Jingles is an insult. I am forced to wear these things around my neck that make high pitch awful noises every time I move. I can't believe my mommy makes me wear them. She says she does it because she needs to hear where I am at. Come on, lady! You've got eyes. Why don't you use them?? She also says that she needs to know where I am at so she can make sure I don't run outside. Like I would actually run into the scary unknown. She's crazy.

So the high pitch noise is called jingles, so that's where my name came from.

Hootowl:

This one just makes my skin crawl. Mommy's dad, Punk, gave me this name too! He looked at me one day and saw how big my eyes were and said that I looked like a Hootowl. Ever since then he calls me Hootowl! He thinks its funny! Well, guess what Punk? You know every time you come over and I act scared and hiss and stare you down? You think I don't know who you are, but oh, how wrong you are Punk! I know exactly who you are! You gave me the most awful name of all time. Because of you, I'll be stuck with it forever. Now that deserves some hisses, growls, and scratches.

Young:

Okay. I have to admit, I actually do like this name. Young. I know what young means! It means that I am smart and pretty and special. It means that I am apart of the family, because my mommy has the same name. She calls it her last name but I call it my best name. It makes the most sense. I am young! That's my name. I wish people would just call me young, but no one ever does. It always has to come after one of the crazy 3 other names.

Farewell for now.

P.S. I sadly have to let my mommy edit this post.

cat
Alicia Lenea
Alicia Lenea
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Alicia Lenea

Hey guys. I am 22 years old and going to college to be a business marketer and a journalist. My passion is writing, so I thought I would try Vocal.

See all posts by Alicia Lenea