For: RoseGold&Kesan

For: Rose & Kesan (My Two Cat Sons)

I will always love and appreciate the both of you too.

My little sister, who is actually is my best-friend, had took in a stray cat who had kittens and she kept one of those kittens. I wanted a cat, since my son had passed away and I was suffering really horrible from depression. So, my little sister cat who I called Mama, had her third litter of kittens, and my sister already had two from her second litter. My little sister is an animal lover, no matter what she says, she will say “I am not taking in no more animals,” and next thing you know, she will be telling you why she had to bring the cat or dog home. I always laugh, as her mom gets on her, but we love her so much that we all will someway or somehow, take care of whatever animal that she had brought home.

December 2019, I was home one night, suffering from another depression episode, when my little sister said that she was back from vacation and her cat kittens where walking and their eyes were opened. “I’m going to get her fixed, I tell you, but you can come get the kittens. I think they are 6 weeks and you’re going to have to catch them.” I laughed and said “Okay, don’t worry, I will be there tomorrow to get them early in the morning.” “Oh, one had died, so it’s two of them now. I think one is a boy and the other is a girl. I probably will not be home and they are in my mom old car. I will leave the door unlock for you and you can call me when you got them.” “Will do, talk to you tomorrow, and love you.” “Love you too.” “Later Gator.” She laughed and hung up.

The next day I go get them and I took a bag with a white towel in it, just in case if they had fleas, I could see them on the white towel. I got Rose Gold first and he was my Tabby. He was easy as he came right to me. The vet later named him Renegade Rose, but I still called him Rose Gold. Kesan was black and last, but very smart and loving, and gave me a run for my money. He would close his eyes so that I couldn’t see him. I crack the door on the left side and went around and grabbed him from the right. I looked to Mama and promised to take very good of them as I left.

My next stop was the pet store and I went crazy trying to get them everything that they needed. I called the vet to make their first appointment and went home to give them a mini bath, just to cover my basics with the fleas. I was so happy because I had the biggest room in my shared apartment with my blood older sister, who I was helping get through her divorced, and my little nephew too. My oldest nephew was down south with his father, since he was older and he’s parent thought that he could use the time living with his father. So, the kittens would have more than enough space to roam and grow.

After I towel dried them off and let them down in my room, I closed the door as I hear my oldest sister come in with my younger nephew. I told her that I had brought Rose Gold and Kesan home. She got mad and told me that she hated cats because of her ex-husband having two of them, Beanie and Bubbles. They were siblings just like my kittens were. I didn’t care how she felt and it started a war because I would not get rid of them. Despite her not being allergic to them and me not dating because of her constant complaining about everything in my life, she had no real reason to why I couldn’t have my kittens.

So, the war began as I trained Rose Gold and Kesan to their names, took them to the vet and kept them inside from the outside, unless they were in their carry bag because I would not put them down for nothing. I spoiled them and didn’t care because they brought me so much joy when my world was beginning to get dark again. Every time I went to work, I was so happy to go home again at night because of them, and I didn’t scare people by them fearing that I might hurt myself or someone.

My older sister continued to threaten me and fight with me about my kittens. She even went as far as to make up lies about me not being able to pay my part of the bills and I was putting everything on her. No one believed me except my mom and my friends because they were usually on the phone when she would have her blackout moments. She even lied to one of my long-termed best-friend who then told me about it. He thought he could help by getting her boyfriend involved but it just made things worse.

My kittens didn’t know what was going on because I trained them and spent a lot of time making sure they didn’t tear up shoes, furniture, or blinds. I watched the TV show ‘My Cat from Hell’ and his girlfriend YouTube channel to get all my information on how to make sure they had everything they needed, to give them the right care. I even took my vet advice and put them on Hill’s Science Diet and that food is almost the most expensive pet food out there, but was worth it because it kept their furs so healthy like their health, at the time.

When the whole world shut down, my situation got worst, I lost my car and my own businesses. It didn’t stop me from finding some light in my darkness. I had my kittens and I got a night job processing money. This job was essential, so I didn’t miss a beat when it came to Rose Gold and Kesan. I brought them an automatic feeder to help with their feeding schedule so I wouldn’t have to ask my sister for help with them.

Of course, my sister started off taking me to work, until she had to pay $200 for work done for her car, and I got blamed for it not the pothole that she hit. So, I just started walking and catching our local train and bus to work and paid one of my cool co-workers to take me home when we worked together. Other times, I had to pay for an Uber to get to or from work because I was not giving up my kittens. Come on, how was I going to survive this horrible pandemic without my two awesome lights in my dark world.

My birthday came and my sister fought with me and then it went on when the landlord threatened my sister to throw us out. I told her that we couldn’t get put out and I was just waiting on my government funding to come in and I will pay all my back rent. I lost my businesses and had paid some serious cash for doing so. I had other things that had to get paid and I didn’t have any credit cards to help with those situations, so down goes my savings. Thank goodness for me stocking up early on my pet supplies, which my sister later found in my closet because she was going to steal some perfume out of it.

Fight after fight came, down to me having to prepare to move out because my sister went behind my back to get another apartment in our same complex without my knowledge. I was head of the lease, that’s how I found out, they needed me to sign over my security deposit when my sister tried to transfer it. At that moment, I stop talking to her and just waited for my money to come. I still was paying for my businesses that I loss and I had to call out a few times just to make sure that my kittens were safe from my sister wrath. She was just so unpredictable that I didn’t trust her no more.

The next month, July, I had to move. She ended our lease early, despite me having no place to go. I got mad and told her that I never wanted to see her again and that she was no longer my sister because she just couldn’t see how important Rose Gold and Kesan were to me. Since, I was home during the day with my nephews, my older nephew came home in June for the summer, so I asked him to help me load up my heavy items into the U-Haul van. I had to move into a storage unit.

That night I called my mom and ask if I could stay with her until the pandemic was over in a few months. Yeah, you can laugh at that one because we still are in this pandemic as I write this story. If only my sister could see the future, right? She wouldn’t have done what she done last year. If somehow, she sees this story, I hope she does cry, maybe she could understand the real heartache and pain she caused.

So, I got my funding, moved into storage and moved my babies to our new home. I had a lot to do to get them to be comfortable because I couldn’t stay there every night until I finished moving everything out and cleaning it up. I cried as I got in the car from dropping my keys off to the landlord. I lost everything because I loved my kittens so much that I fought hard for them. I was happy that my mom understood the importance of why I had to have them.

November 2020, I made their yearly appointment, but it got moved because my vet said that the doctor went out early for Thanksgiving. I rescheduled. December 2020, I had to reschedule because I had an emergency surgery. Right before Christmas, the vet rescheduled because they left out early for the holiday. Right after Christmas, they reschedule because of New Year’s and I got mad, and went off on them as I flew Rose Gold to the vet hospital.

January 2021, I rushed Rose Gold back to the same animal hospital as I cursed their vet out and told them to pray that Rose did not die because they rescheduled on the day of their appointment. Rose Gold died and I felt the same pain I felt the day I lost my only born son. I cried for hours and beg God for him to breathe life back into him. I didn’t have the money at the moment, so I applied for Care Credit while I hold my dead son Cat Rose Gold, and it went through. God at least blessed me with the money to be able to send Rose Gold home correctly. I got his paw print in the mail the following week.

I went home that day and stayed home for two days as I held my sweet black cat Kesan. He was a chatty cat, if you talked to him, he would talk back to you. My mom was allergic but loved him so much because he would do that. Animals are blessings just as much as kids are. They bring so much joy to your life and I couldn’t have been more grateful. So, I schedule an appointment for Kesan to be able to get checked out for Wellness insurance, they had other insurance which covered a percent of Rose Gold two last appointments but not Wellness.

February 2021, I went to my new doctor appointment and when home to get ready for Kesan appointment. The next day Kesan gave me a hard time getting in the carry bag for his appointment. I said “Kesan, please baby, we are going to be late for your checkup, it’s just a checkup and then you’re going to come home with me.” Nope, he wasn’t haven’t it, he was chatting even louder as if he was yelling at me. I said, “Okay, young man, either you get in or I put you in.” I laughed as he dropped his head and got in the bag.

We arrived to the vet and he went in for his checkup. I walked the store next door to see what kind of new pet food they had. When I got back, I noticed that it was taking a bit of time to hear back from the vet so I asked the young lady at the desk was everything alright. She left and came back with the tech who brought me Kesan. We went into a room as the doctor called me to report an update on him. Kesan had the same thing his brother had and I got up to run outside to cry. I just couldn’t believe it, he had to be put down because he only had a few days left to live.

I went back in and they gave me time as they went to get everything ready. He curse me out, of course he was chatting and walking back and forth, he stopped to let me rub and hold him as the Vet came back in with her tech. She explained the process and told me that she was surprised that him and Rose Gold lived that long. Usually cats who have FIV and Leukemia will pass down one or both of the genes. There is no cure, as there really is none for humans either. It’s didn’t stop my pain. Twice I went to a Vet office and came home without either one of my son’s.

The only good thing was that the Vet told me that I gave them a chance to live and have a happy, healthy life. She thanked me for that and it only made me cry harder as I kissed my last living cat son goodbye. I cried so hard and for days. I cried because my sister fought me for nothing. She got her wish though, and now my two babies are gone. I have no more cats. I didn’t go get another one because nothing could replace the love that they brought to me and gave me. I have nothing else to live for, I thought to myself back then, despite me having to face life without that much joy being in it.

They say God does things for a reason and that we walk this earth until our purpose is served, well I can only tell you that I am alive to tell my story only. I wish the world could understand my pain and the pain of others, when you lose a love one in such a tragic moment. It makes you look at the glass half full because no materialistic item will every compare to the joy that a love one can bring you. Whether that’s in human form or animal or anything else that breathes on this earth. Rose Gold and Kesan my cat sons taught me to cherish every moment like it’s your last and say I love you every day to anyone that loves you like you love them, because you never know, you just never know. So, don’t be afraid to adopt a sick animal, and fight for them because they will fight for you. They saved my life in so many ways and so can that animal that you are thinking about adopting or the stray animal that you are taking care of. I went against the world and I will do it again for them all over again, free of charge.