Floppy-Eared Love

Dear Readers,

I figured I would be a little lighter this time, so I decided to write about my baby girl Gremlin. Now that isn’t her real name, but I do call her that due to this face she gives me when she wants something from me (usually food or extra room on the bed).

I got Gremlin from my aunt on Thanksgiving Day two years ago. She was almost three months old and originally for my cousin. Troy, one of my favorite cousins, is an amazing baseball player, so when he decided to go to college for it several hours away no one was against it, but this meant he left his brand new puppy behind. That’s where I came in. The moment my aunt asked me if I wanted a free German Shepherd mix puppy I screamed yes! It was my dream dog and the baby girl was an angel in my eyes.

Gremlin actually chose her own name. Troy named her Bentley after one of his favorite cars, but she never answered to it. I came up with the idea to just yell out names and she eventually ran to me after I said one. We ended up spelling it in a non-traditional way, but it fits her fierce personality.

We both left behind Leander when she was about six to eight months old, I can’t fully remember. When she was one, I made the decision to move back in with my parents and Gremlin became an outside dog due to my younger sisters taking in my old two cats. The cats hated my baby girl and ran, which we all know means my dog took up chase.

Now one thing everyone should know about Gremlin is that when I rushed to leave Leander, I had no choice but to leave her with him while I figured things out. The friend I was living with had her own dogs and the other roommate had a very territorial female boxer that had attacked Gremlin once before. After a few weeks I went back to get her and Leander refused to be there with me when I did. He had stolen my key awhile back so he only told me a time to get there and then told me where he hid my key so I could get in. That’s when I found out that he had moved back into his mom's, stopped paying the bills, and left Gremlin in her cage for a week.

The moment I walked into the apartment I could smell how dirty my baby girl was. She was shoved into the cage that had too big of a dog bed taking up over half the space and then a huge pot that was empty of water or dog food. The cage was for a big dog, but with how much space those two big objects took, my poor baby girl had enough room to turn in a small circle. When she saw me she didn’t make a sound. This led me to believe Leander had been in and out of the place, but ignored her each time.

It took me over two hours to clean her fur of her own feces, and I simply threw the dog bed out. I spent an hour scrubbing the cage and after that day, she never saw Leander again. It took me over a year before she would willingly get into her cage, and almost two years before she would sleep in it or even just relax in it while I was home. Now of course she will use it to hide her toys and to get to her extra dog bowl that I bought so she has water while I am at school or work, but even now her anxiety is a level 10.

When I started therapy over a year ago, my therapist asked me to bring Gremlin in to see how we would work in the environment with each other nearby. She was looking to see if she was my support dog which she found out was a solid fact when I was more open to talking. What she also found out was that I was also Gremlins support human. If I didn’t pass through a doorway then neither would she. If I wasn’t in a room then she didn’t dare get close. The trauma Leander put her through made Gremlin become anxious with separation from me. Over time, this has gotten better as long as the people she is with my mom or siblings.

Once we moved into my parents’ house we had much more freedom. She had a huge backyard and this amazing dog park was just a few minutes away. I still take her there even now when it’s over a 30-minute drive to reach.

Anyways, a month later Leander brought my stuff over so I could store it in the garage. I made sure I was out so I took Gremlin to the park for a few hours until I got the call that he was gone. After that, my life got back on track with a new job, a steady income, a safe place to sleep, and my family back in my life. My puppy was happy. I was happy.

After my dad died, Gremlin became an inside dog again. She slept next to me every night and she once again became my support system. This led to me seeing every angle my baby girl had to show. Her hungry face, sleepy face, hyper puppy face, bored face, and even her snappy face. Believe it or not, my dog will get annoyed by me and will get real close before clicking her front teeth at me. A dog. Snapping its teeth in annoyance. Half the time it’s because I'm not moving as fast as she would like me to.

Her Gremlin face is my favorite, hence the nickname. When she wants something—usually something of mine—she will make her eyes real big before looking right at me and pulling her ears to the side. Kind of like Yoda. And when I say ears I mean like giant elephant ears, bigger than her head ears. So when they are pulled to the side they stick out real far. It is definitely the cutest thing I have ever seen.

An added short story? Last week before I took Gremlin to her appointment for her dog spa day, I took her to the dog park for a few hours. Now, normally, she refuses to get more than 50 yards away from me before circling back to lick my hand and check that I'm still where she left me.

This time was different.

When we got through the gate, she was wild. So hyper that she wasn’t paying attention to where I was. So while she ran to play with dogs I walked to a nearby bench. After a few minutes of just sitting there, I watched as Gremlin turned around to find me and just stopped. Literally just froze in her place for about 30 seconds before she started to run up to every person around her to look at their face before running to the next. I didn’t understand what she was doing until I realized that she was in a full blown panic much like a lost child in Walmart. I stayed where I was and watched to see how she would handle the situation and after about five minutes she finally worked her way through every standing person before she found me on my bench. After that she refused to leave my side, and eventually I had to get up so she would play with other dogs. After a few tries of me getting her close to another dog, I decided to just play fetch with her. This ended up in an hour long game before she grew too tired to follow the ball anymore. After that, we left and went home to just cuddle before bed.

A few days later I left to go shopping. My mom was home so I left Gremlin with her. As soon as I got back I had a dog in my face licking me. I guess while I was gone Gremlin became anxious and started to pace around the living room and whine loudly. As soon as I was back she was fine. Since then, anytime I leave she loses it. Not even my mom can get her to calm down. So now we have made it a joke. As soon as I leave, Gremlin will run to the window and watch me leave. When I pull up, she runs to the door. When I walk in, she jumps up and hugs me.

To say I left an unhealthy love life to enter a wholesome, true one would be an understatement. No love is truer than a dog's. They will love you forever. You can mess up so many times, but at the end of the day when you come home, they will be standing there waiting for that door to open.

Animals, not just dogs, deserve a healthy love. So be kind, be patient, and just love them when you can.

With much love,

Abigail White