EmPawyee My Beloved Fury Friend For my Nina Simone

EmPawyee

My Beloved Furry Friend

For my Nina Simone

I write this story with my eyes filled with tears and an ache in my heart because she is not with me now. My precious fury friend came into my life one year after I had a miscarriage on the exact same date, Christmas Eve. A night that unfortunately still six years later I find difficult to handle. We spotted her on a Facebook page for sale, she was four weeks old and the size of my hand and the most beautiful Blue Healer I had ever seen, I knew from that moment that she was the one that I had to have, out of a precious litter of fur -babies. We named you Nina Simone after my favorite jazz singer and just like the amazing jazz singer Nina Simone, you entered my life full of personality and zip.

Nina was dark royal blue in colour with little white streaks throughout your fur. She favored my now ex-partner and getting her to listen to anything I said was near impossible, but she was mine. She was naughty and frantic, hyperactive, and loveable. Nina was a dog that would trot down the street looking like a princess with the entire town stopping to pat her and comment on how very beautiful she was. We splashed around in the ocean, we cuddled on the couch, when she learnt how to bark, she would jump in the air whilst barking. She would bite my feet whilst I sat and wrote my university assignments and would frantically bark if I left the house, Nina hated being alone. If there was anything me and my ex- partner would fight over it was Nina and the fact that she never listened to me and only him. Nina was still my baby. She saved my life; she was my company my companion she was my protector.

We drove across the Western Australian desert together; Nina was a great traveler from day one. We camped on the side of the road and explored mountains of rocks together. We relocated to a small country town in NSW where I was alone most of the time due to my ex- partner working away. I was working casually and still finishing my university degree, we had a little house and a big back yard just for her, though unfortunately surrounded by not so nice neighbors. Neighbors that were drug dealers, neighbors that threatened to shoot Nina Simone if she did not stop barking. Most of the time it was just Nina and I at home alone, she made me laugh so much, and cry when she would run around the house with my favorite floor rug in her mouth growling at me. We would dance in the kitchen, and she slept next to me, she was my all, she was my everything at such a lonely time in my life.

Although Nina Simone never listened to me, I recon she had the most fun with me, Nina was such a mischief maker. I had knock at my door one day, a deliveryman was there with some packages I needed to sign for. That day, I was wearing a green dress with yellow sunflowers that had straps and sat just above my breasts with elastic and it came down to my knees, you know those cute little dresses you can get from Thailand the beachy ones? So, here’s me signing my life away for the packages, when suddenly, Nina jumps up and pulls my dress down and to my surprise my strapless dress comes down and leaves me standing in front of the delivery man with only my undies on. “Thank you, Nina Simone, you’ve done it again”! I was completely mortified and pulled my dress up and shut the door, Nina just trotted off in her own little world as usual.

There was not a lot to do in the little country town we lived in, and I used to walk Nina down to the sports oval everyday multiple times a day for a run, being a Blue Heeler, she needed the exercise. The oval was quiet and it was always Nina and I, though if there was trouble , Nina would find it, anywhere from taking off chasing two dirt bikes flying across the oval, to getting into what looked like a Mexican standoff with the biggest Kangaroo I’ve ever seen, which then led to the gardener at the oval, fighting the Kangaroo off with a shovel and me standing there in tears while Nina pranced off into the sunset with not a care in the world. Nina certainly kept me on my toes. Another day came, where there were two blue lines on a stick, I was pregnant and so excited.

Nina kept me safe when I was alone, she still made me laugh and she kept me company. Growing big and 1 year old she was, but at three months pregnancy I had another miscarriage. Nina was my rock during this time, when I cried, she would lick my face she was always my hero just having Nina with me at this time got me through another devastating time in my life.

Time came for us to move towns again, for the MILLIONTH time for my ex-partner’s job. I thought this would be it, we would move to our dream coastal town, settle down and buy a house and start a family. We’d run on the beach like we used to in Western Australia, we’d play in the waves the three of us would be happy. Though my ex-partner had another plan, he got his visa I sponsored him to stay in Australia and became a permanent resident. He got the visa, hid it from me and ended the relationship. I eventually busted him by calling immigration to find out information. I was heartbroken, he told me in a text message to pack up my things and to move out. I had nowhere to live, no money and no Nina. With every bone in my body, I was not leaving Nina. With every fiber of my soul, I was not leaving town like my then partner wanted me to. I had found a cute little farmhouse for the three of us to live with a massive farm for Nina Simone to play in and my dream and my life as I knew it was over. I stayed in caravans, share houses I sat crying in Women’s refuges and at social workers offices, I was not leaving my dog. I was not leaving my Nina Simone.

It was a time when a bushfire then tore through the valley, wiping out houses and sadly lives were lost. It was New Year’s Eve, and I was sleeping in a horse stable at show ground with a horse urinating next to my head. The show ground was the nearest evacuation point for the town and I bolted back to my old house to check on Nina and my ex. It was heart breaking to see the cute little farmhouse we had moved into surrounded in black smoke and Nina was hysterical. I sat with her crying in the garden whilst she was begging me not to go. Thankfully the house and her were safe in the fire, but it was the scariest day of my life.

A few months past and my ex-partner went hiking through Napal the lucky fellow. He left Nina at the dog kennel for two months. Unfortunately, I did not have a stable house with a garden for Nina so I would visit her at the dog kennel daily so we could play. Her head was spinning she had no idea what was going on. Each day I would visit her and just sit there with her and cry. One day, I arrived at the dog kennel and the owner told me that my ex-partner had come and collected her. And that was it, I have not seen my beautiful Nina Simone since, that was February 2020 and I still am not over my Nina.

I’m not over your beautiful fur, your cute little paws. I’m not over how you used to trot down the street and drive me crazy. I will never be over you Nina, you made a print on my heart that will always remain. I have no idea where you are living now, what town you live in, but I hope you are safe and well looked after, and between you and me Nina, I hope you pee in a certain someone’s work boots and demolish the indoor floor-rug.

For everything you did for me Nina Simone, for keeping me safe for being my baby my friend and for protecting me when I was alone. You deserve the BIGGEST medal. I cannot thank you more for everything you did for me, and I will remember you for the rest of my life.

Ps. Mummy loves you xoxoxo