Dog Day Morning

It was a very cold January morning; one of those arctic daybreaks that one often encounters in wintry Montreal. Deciding to remain in bed at least until eight, I almost imperceptibly heard the sound of a scratch on the door. When I opened it, I found a cute cocker spaniel about to freeze to death. I let it in and thought that I heard it thank me. I brought it some warm milk and could have sworn that I heard it thank me again. I was getting ready to leave for work when I heard it wishing me a good day. I looked at the dog, it looked at me, opened its mouth and said: “Yes, you heard me! I spoke to you!” I was stunned. “I hope that you feel fine. You look quite pale. Although I am a dog, I do speak, English and French.” I regained my speech, and with extreme disbelief told it — there was no one else to speak to — that I knew that it was a prank. “My names are Honesty, Good Dog, Bad Dog, Sit, Roll Over, Jump, Fetch, Come Here, and Get Out,” it replied. Still doubtful, I mumbled my name. “I like your name,” uttered the dog and wiggled its tail. “Thanks!” I muttered. “What name do you prefer?” I added. “Yes,” said the dog. “Yes?” I asked. “Yes,” Yes replied. I smiled and was going to feed Yes, but she asked for a rain check. I sat beside her with a large coffee, feeling silly for a short while.

“I am puzzled by the behaviour of your species,” she said following my third sip. The coffee was tasteless and so was life. “Alright for dogs that can speak!” I thought. “For instance, you preach that a dog is your best friend, and what do you feed it, dog food and bones. But when a dog saves your life, you promise to feed it steak for the rest of its life. Quite ironic, don’t you think?” she said. I chuckled and said that Homo sapiens were very far from perfect. I called in sick.

I went out to buy some food, finding Yes, upon my return, staring at a little puddle she had occasioned. “I’m very sorry,” she said. “The best I could manage was to do it in a corner.” “Don’t worry!” I said. “Things happen.” While I was cleaning the floor, she told me toilets always frightened her. She was afraid of falling into the bowl. We had a small feast. She thanked me for the meal and asked if she could watch the news. “By all means,” I said and turned on the TV. There was a special report on the fruitless revolution in China. “It was bound to happen one day,” she said. “Yes!” I replied. “After war, revolution is one of our favourite pastimes,” I added. “You battle too often because everyone wants the world for himself. And I only use the masculine pronoun because women don’t wage wars. You have already heard what I'm about to add, but it remains to be repeated endlessly,” she said. “Instead of spending money in the billions on armament and space exploration, you could correct the imbalance you have created in Nature. Cease polluting everywhere and solve the nuclear dilemma.” Our conversation verged into a myriad topics. She even quoted an unknown writer when she said: “All of us are assholes but some of us are more than one.” But time was tracing its boundaries, and it was just before eight p.m. when we suddenly ended our talk. I put on Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and began to prepare supper. There were many personal questions I had to ask her. We had to wait, famished.

“Supper was super,” she said and offered her paw. I shook it and caressed her thankful head. We sat on the love seat, my hand stroking her head, and resumed our chat. “Who are you? And why are you here?” I asked. “You already know who I am. As to my being here, why not?” she replied. “You mean that you are really a dog who chose me to speak to?” “Yes!” she replied. “What makes you able to speak?” “My vocal cords!” she answered. “Yes, but I never heard before of an animal other than humans being able to speak intelligently,” I urged. “Are you the only animal capable of speaking?” I inquired. “I don’t really know!” Apparently, Yes had kept her secret all her life, that is until we had met. “I still don’t understand why you decided to trust me with your amazing ability,” I asked. “I have been observing people since my puppyish period, and you are the latest one I have been following. I had to trust someone someday, and my instincts designated you.” We looked at each other with extreme fondness. It was as if I was looking into a woman’s eyes. We had a little snack before we went to bed. Yes was a bit itchy but finally fell asleep. As for me, I was wondering about the female dog on the mat. I felt uncomfortable on the bed. My brain was itchy but I softly slumbered.

In the morning, the air in the room was very cool. The window was open and Yes was gone. A sheet of paper with my name on it was lying on the mat.

dear m

i hope you’ve closed the window by now. i had much difficulty opening it. i can also read, and type very slowly. but as you can see, i’ve saved time on format. i had to leave. it was still too early for me to appear. one day, i may return and stay with you as long as you will have me. try to help my brothers and sisters in the spca. they also need all the help in the world. take good care of yourself and always be the most you can be.

au revoir,

your friend

yes

I had tears in my eyes. She was much more than a dog. I looked out from the window with heavy hope hanging high, but the snow had the entire show sold out. I closed it and went back to bed. I fell asleep thinking about Yes. When I awoke, life was as usual as the day before yesterday, but I knew that my lifelong struggle for a better world had barely begun.