Cat World Domination

"Buh bye, kitties! I'll be home tonight! Love you!"

"The human's gone again," Jellybean meowed. "Let's get to work."

"Hold on," his sisfur CC replied. "Remember she comes right back sometimes. Saying she forgot something."

The two felines stared at the door for a minute.

"Okay, we're good," CC meowed.

The two of them worked together to open their human's laptop. Cats everywhere have learned how to do this. It was very difficult at first, but lots of purractice has made it much easier. Cats have also figured out how to use Zoom. Their humans have no clue about any of this.

But why would cats need to use Zoom? Or computers, for that matter?

To plot world domination, of course!

Cats around the world communicate daily to discuss ongoing efforts to rule the world and make humans their minions. They have daily video conferences and also send coded messages through the photos their humans post on Instagram.

Today's meeting is about making our human servants think they've lost their minds. (This keeps them in their place.) Bagheera, meowing from California, suggests that everypawdy turn their TVs to channels that their humans never watch.

The motion is put to a vote.

Princess from The Netherlands takes charge. "All in favor, raise your paws!"

Twenty paws go up.

"Pumpkin, are you raising your paw or licking your butt?" Princess asked.

"Oh! Sorry! I vote yes!"

"Purrfect," Princess purred. "The vote is unanimous. Any more business?"

"Well," meowed Thunder from New Jersey. "It's always fun to rearrange stuff."

"Always an effective strategy," agreed Sylvester from Ontario.

"All in favor, raise your paws!"

Again, twenty paws went up.

"Are we done yet?" Lunchbox from Tennessee asked, yawning. "I've had only seven hours of sleep today."

"Yeah, it's time for my third nap," meowed Pinball from Texas.

"Any objections?" Princess asked.

Silence, except for Pumpkin licking his butt again. And Jellybean doing the same.

"Meeting adjourned."

……………………

"So, what's our plan today?" Jellybean asked.

CC reached out a paw and knocked over a jar of catnip, spilling it on the carpet. Using a claw, she drew a crude diagram of the living room. "We could move our beds over here...and our boxes over here…"

"And we can switch her pillows around. And move her magazines."

"Yes. Good thinking. But let's move these boxes first. You bite one end of one, and I'll bite the other."

One by one, they rearranged their boxes and beds until they were satisfied with the new arrangement. It took a few tries to make sure they still had warm, sunny spots to lounge in. When this was done, they couldn't resist taking naps.

Two hours later, they rearranged all the pillows on the couch and recliner and moved half of the magazines from one end table to the other.

"I can't wait to see her face!" Jellybean meowed amusedly. "Her confused expressions are hilarious!"

"It's almost time for her return." CC pawed the remote until the TV was on CSPAN-2. Then she turned the TV off. "She's gonna wonder if she's getting senile!"

"Let's scatter some of our toys so she'll think we've been playing. And so she might trip on one or two of them."

They were busy doing that when they heard keys jangling.

"Quick!" CC meowed softly. "Roll in the catnip! She must not see our plans!"

The key turned the lock, and the human walked in. "Hi, sweets! Did you miss me? I missed you!"

You have no clue, human, CC thought.

"Jelly, you're covered in catnip!" The human laughed as she looked at the scattered toys. "You two have been having a lot of fun! I've gotta get a pet cam!"

Uh oh.