Benji - The Ultimate Love

I was 12 when Benji came to live with us. He was tiny, only 10 weeks old and I could hold him with one hand. I loved him from the moment I saw him but he only ever had eyes for my mum.

He attached to her, loved her every moment and comforted her whenever he could. Throughout the years he became her soulmate, her shadow. He was always wherever she was.

When she was working, he would attach to me. I wasn't as good but I was the next best thing. But I was never as good as his mummy. He was always excited when she came home, always ready to snuggle her and be nearby.

When mum went through a harsh divorce he was never far. He slept beside her, cuddled her and was always behind her. He made sure that we was okay, licking her tears and giving her kisses everyday.

He always waited for her to come home from work, excitedly greeting her at the door, ready to play and cuddle. When I moved out I knew she would be okay because she had Benji. Her best friend.

As the years went by his health started to deteriorate. Arthritis set in and his hearing started to fail. He still played and met mum at the door every day but he moved slowly, painfully. He was getting old.

He was on medication for his arthritis and had surgery to remove rotten teeth. But nothing could be done for his hearing and his age continued to climb. He continued to get sick and problems kept creeping up.

Mum called one day, upset and needing us. Benji's eye wasn't doing well. There was an infection and it wasn't healing. I was there as soon as I could be as he went to the vet and lost his eye. It was the only way we could stop the infection from spreading.

Losing his eyesight in one eye was hard for him. His sight had deteriorated but he could still see, now that had been halved in an instant. He stumbled, tripped and banged into things. He lost his balance and coordination.

We knew his days were numbered. We desperately wanted to hold on to him, keep him near us forever but he was suffering. Infections continued to set in and he became ill, refusing food and water and moping around all day long. He could barely move, barely eat and didn't greet mum when she arrived home anymore.

We knew it was time. He was suffering and so unwell. He wouldn't last long - do we end the suffering for him or do we let him go naturally? It was an impossible choice that had to be made. In the end, we decided that we couldn't let him suffer.

It was winter. Our small family gathered around as Benji took his last breath. He was very sick and the vet said our little puppy was mostly gone before he even arrived. Our heartwrenching decision was the correct one, but it didn't feel right.

Tears fell. Sobs escaped. Our constant companion, beautiful friend and fur-baby was gone. My mum felt it the hardest, crying for days for her lost best friend. Some people don't understand the connection others have with animals but it is real and passionate. We have always loved our animals and it never gets easier losing one.

He's been gone for a year now and I still expect to see him every time I visit mum. I miss his bark, his games and his happy pant. One day I will play fetch with him in the sky, where he is free of pain and suffering. I can't wait for the day I see him again.