Behind the Mask

“Go get ‘em!” Tens of tiny biscuits were propelled into the air, as ten tiny faces desperately watched with crazed eyeballs, hungry and excited. Then tens of tiny paws frantically scrabbled, slipping across the laminate floor as the biscuits rained down and scattered everywhere; booty dropping from a piñata. And in ten seconds – gone.

Like a children’s party, there’s that one kid who never wins a game, quietly losing confidence, lost in an incomprehensible cloud of hopelessness. That kid was the feeble Papillon pup cowering in the corner, half concealed by a fleece blanket, and too timid to get involved in the commotion. He was surveying me, sorry eyes barely visible against his obsidian black face.

Now that the ten bouncy fur balls had stuffed their greedy mouths and had retreated to various hangouts in the room, the pup lifted his legs, apprehensive, like a fawn standing for the first time, unsteady. Into the arena he crept, head slung low, hesitantly searching for a measly leftover. And then he clocked it. The last biscuit, poking out from beneath a stray cushion. He gratefully scooped it up, looking up at me, before shrinking back to his hovel in the corner. He was the last thoroughbred up for sale. The rest were grown-up grumbles of Pugs, Papillons and Japanese Chins, with a few accidental combinations that would make interesting brands – a Pappugchin, a Japapug? But the breeder said she wasn’t selling them.

He came home with me that day, a snowball of fluff hiding behind his mask of brilliant black, and remained nameless for two weeks, whilst the family batted names back and forth. Zorro was a firm favourite but Bandit won because of his solid face markings, and his penchant for surreptitiously dipping into visitors’ handbags to steal treasure. Definitely a bandit! Over the past four years, friends and random strangers have offered their name suggestions in response to his magnificent butterfly ears, Batfink and Mogwai being the height of popularity.

A fluffy extension to the family, Bandit has evolved from a meek and timid creature, into a bold, sometimes audacious, little dude. He was nursed by a surrogate, after his mummy rejected him, favouring her other two babies. I often ponder the impact this had on him, and his instinct to forge a strong emotional connection with me. I know this by the lovestruck stare he pins on me. In fact, gazing back into your dog’s eyes releases oxytocin, the same hormone that is released when a mother looks at her baby.

Bandit is my sidekick, partner in crime (except I don’t rifle through other people’s handbags), and travel companion. He’s notorious for The Big Sigh, which is a deep exhalation of dog breath that indicates he wants us to go out and do something less boring than blending in with the living room rug. Life unleashed means freedom – hiking up colossal hills, slipping into the fresh sea, hanging out in the music studio, and racing in the Winter morning chill, but never carried in a handbag (apart from when he insisted on climbing into a very fancy Prada purse in an attempt to sniff out a makeup brush). He’s too brazen to be an accessory.

To celebrate Bandit the Papillon, and to award him the luminary status he deserves, I document our adventures on his Instagram page, BanditZoomiez, where he has taken to conceiving his own version of Haiku. I was surprised too! A Haiku is a short poem, originating from Japan, consisting of three phrases in 17 syllables, in a five, seven, five pattern. So, here I will share a selection of Bandit’s double/rhyming Haiku adventures with accompanying pictures.

HAIKU #1

Frosted minty jewels

glinting under lemon sun,

warming Winter blues.

***

Crispy whisper breeze,

freezes whiskers as I run

through the dormant trees.

HAIKU #2

Found my way to Mars,

desert red and iron rust,

tastes like biscuit dust.

***

High beyond the stars,

travelled up with Elon Musk,

must get home by dusk.

HAIKU #3

Slippy slopes and hills,

invite me to seek cheap thrills,

when the world turns white.

***

Downhill speed machine,

over whipped meringue and cream,

ignoring frostbite.

HAIKU #4

Surf the salty sea,

luckily the waves are kind,

balancing is key.

***

Pondering a swim,

when I’m soaked I’ll have to find,

the sand to dive in.

HAIKU #5

Exercise disguise,

no unwelcome attention,

to be recognised.

***

Wheels will stagnate

without my leg extensions,

to make them rotate.

HAIKU #6

Slumped into my bed,

day’s adventures in my head,

stories I can tell.

***

Glamping pod tonight,

all strung up with fairy lights,

sweet dreams and farewell.

The Big Sigh just told me it’s time for a free wheeling, no map / no compass kind of afternoon, under the pale sky that is one flat blanket of cloud. Maybe today we can clamber so high and explore a peak above that cloud. Adventure time!

www.instagram.com/banditzoomiez/