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Annie Bug Dimples

The kiddo who saved my life

By Neeha Goswami Published about a year ago 7 min read
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HE wanted a dog. That is all he spoke about for months was wanting a dog that he could have while being an “up & coming bodybuilder.” Which translated to him being buff and unemployed. Meanwhile, I worked two jobs- often having 13 hour days of straight work- and I did not have the time or energy to support us, let alone a dog. Over time, he pushed for a dog and I was too tired to fight it, so I gave in. My only condition was that I got to pick out the dog. I thought to myself, “Maybe a dog will help distract him. Maybe a dog will ease his rising anger. Maybe a dog will make him a better person”. Looking back, I was so naïve.

We drove into the worst possible part of town to find his dog. He got out of the car to go speak to the woman as I pulled $80 out of my wallet. There he was, all muscles and brutishness cradling the tiniest Chihuahua puppy. She was small but cute. He asked if I wanted to hold her and I sighed, dejected. “No, let’s just take her and go.” Never listening to what I wanted, he put her in my arms anyway. And from that moment, my whole life changed.

She was the runt. She was sweet. She was spunky. She was perfect. This is the story of Annie Bug Dimples and how she saved my life from the hands of someone who tried to take it away.

I grew up with a challenging childhood which led to unsolved trauma that breezed into adulthood. My life choices were not the best but I needed someone to love me for the broken self that I was. I was in this relationship for four years and how it became a co-dependency situation, I will never understand. Annie was carried through our apartment door and she knew she would run that place the second her Frito smelling paws hit the floor. I, myself did not have a bed at that time, but I made sure Annie had all that she needed and wanted. In a matter of days, she had four different dog beds, 30 new squeaky toys and her paw print covering my entire heart. I blew up the air mattress I slept on each night and she patiently waited to snuggle up between my left arm and chest. She had the sweet puppy breath and was so warm throughout the night. She was everything that I never knew I wanted.

He was not thrilled. He wanted this dog to be his best friend, to help fight through his depression, but mostly to control. He was losing his control over me because I spent so much time working. This dog that he so badly wanted chose me over him the very first night; that did not sit well with him.

Over the years he was incredibly emotionally and mentally abusive, and it slowly became physical abuse. He knew all of my flaws and insecurities which he used to his advantage. My trauma informed adolescence led to me being unable to go through with leaving him. I was suffocating in this web that I was unable to break through. The abuse was bad, but the remorse afterwards was worse. Those sensitive and tender heartstrings I had when I was younger were being tugged by a man that knew exactly how to play that instrument. One night I came home from a 15-hour work day, exhausted and ready for bed. He chose a fight that night over something trivial as usual. That night, he struck me across the face which was a familiar feeling. But that night, he did not stop there.

He cornered me and used every part of his 190lbs against my body. He punched, kicked, threw, and flung me as if I wasn’t a human being. I had zero fight left in me so I let him do his worst. He left every bruise he could on any inch of brown skin that he could torture. I was quiet while he thrashed me into the wall. All I could think was “This had to be normal. The neighbors have heard me cry and scream before and no one has ever said anything or even called the police. This must be normal. But this isn’t how I want to live anymore.” He threatened to take my life away and I had no intentions of stopping him. He gripped one hand around my neck, watching the agony scream from my eyes.

Annie woke up and waddled into the room. She let out the biggest shriek bark- one I had never heard from her before. This three month old, five pound Chihuahua ran up to him and bit his leg. He turned around and threw her across the hallway. I watched her get back up, shake it off, and run back and clench her little jaw on his ankle. Then it was all so clear, that moment of realization that it wasn’t my life I was worried about, it was hers. She was not a dog; she was my baby. Bruised, broken, and sore, I found the energy to get up and fight back. Never did I fight like that before and he took it out of shock and didn’t move. I wasn’t going to let him hurt her and I couldn’t protect her if I was no longer here. All through my realizations and his reactions, the entire time, that little girl kept her jaws clamped on him.

There was a bang on the door with a deep voice, “Citrus Heights P.D. Open up.” I never had the courage to call for help and yet, help had arrived. I remembered that earlier that same night I had texted a group of trusted friends ‘SOS, I think I am not safe’ and slid my phone under the table lamp so he would not be able to break it. He threw Annie and I in the closet and locked us in there. All the lights were off and I had lost my energy to get off the ground. I just held my baby girl in my arms and didn’t want to lose that moment. I still remember her puppy breath, her rapid heartbeats, and her slow panting.

He came to hide in the closet with us and started crying and apologizing for all the things he did over the years. He kept his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t scream. I could feel the bruising under my top lip from his hand covering my mouth earlier in the night while kicking me continuously into fetal position.

The police left after two minutes. I thought, ‘It was over. This must be normal. Even the police didn’t save me’. He smoked himself to sleep that night as I lay awake looking at my tiny dog who tried to save my life from a monster who could have hurt her with his pinky. I couldn’t even get up without using my hand as leverage to assist my neck. Broken and exhausted in more ways than I had ever known before that night, I resolved silently to myself, ‘This is pathetic. This is all your fault. You can’t put Annie in this type of danger again. He will kill her because she loves you’.

The next day I made an excuse to go outside. Meanwhile, he went on with his day, already erasing the memory of last night. I swooped up Annie, ran to my car and sped off. I felt my heart pounding out of my chest. She looked calm as ever and I couldn’t help but think that a dog I originally did not want, just saved me from my death. At the station, I spoke to the officer that had come to my apartment the night before. He had heard zero noises, assumed the place was empty and chalked it up to a prank call. The look of despair on his face while he took pictures of my body I will never forget. Annie barked the entire time, something she rarely did, as if she was telling her story. He was arrested that day and taken from our lives.

The love I was deprived of for my entire life I was gifted from a four legged love bug and I am eternally grateful that she was brought into my life. Growing up, I was afraid of dogs and never did I think I would held by the paws of a dog. She brought light into my life. She brought joy and taught me that love is unconditional. She was destined to live for a short two years and her death I still mourn till to this day. I cry as I am writing this, remembering her. She served her purpose and that purpose was to save me. Because of her I learned so much about life and found a different purpose of my own, on my own, for myself and the family I have built. Because of her, I now have six dogs, each of them has me wrapped around their paws-- and I wouldn’t want to live my life any other way.

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Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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