Plate Carriers Are Now Memes

Plate carriers are now memes. Devoid of all meaning and practicality, they have become nothing more than a symbol. A symbol of what, though? Protection? Rarely. Most often in the modern world, we see them being ill-fitting, worn incorrectly, of low quality, and often with foam plates or no plates at all (anyone who has had to wear one or fit someone for a plate carrier can tell)—and being worn in contexts that rarely serve their intended purpose. They are more often than not used as an intimidation tactic by those who can no longer own firearms. 

We see them popping up everywhere. From places you expect, like volatile political protests, to some guy wearing it at the gym or as he jogs your neighborhood sidewalk. But why?

Short answer? Insecurity. Twenty-five years of persistent war have produced two kinds of male inadequacies. The “I almost joined but…” guy. And the guy who joined the military, thinks he could have been an infantryman or operator, but rode a desk or did something else far from the front lines.

The longer and more complex answer is that we live in a society where men are expected to serve in the military. And in most cases, they are looked down upon if they didn’t. This does two things. It creates an undeserved superiority complex in those that have served, even if all they did was order supplies or process pay for a living. The second, it creates an equally undeserved inferiority complex in those that never joined, but felt like they could have or should have. 

I’m going to let you in on a not-so-secret reality of being in the military. The majority of us are not frontline troops, and a lot of jobs have direct civilian equivalents that, if you were to phrase someone’s military occupational specialty or rate as the civilian equivalent, people wouldn’t be as enamored with what the majority of us do on a day-to-day basis. 

This isn’t to denigrate anyone’s service. It’s just that now we have the epimethean ability to look back at the nearly three-decade-old Global War on Terrorism, and see the brain rot it has unleashed on our culture. 

We now live in a society where everything is seen through the lens of war and battles. To be fair, we’ve been losing our two longest hypothetical wars, as poverty and drug use are more prevalent than they used to be. But I digress. 

It is because of the normalization of warfare, and its accompanying attire, that the plate carrier is quickly evolving into what the suit and tie have become: clothing that was appropriated from the military into regular civilian wear by men filled with a sense of inadequacy. 

Again, I’ll say it. The plate carrier is now a meme. A cultural artifact carried forward by people who don’t understand its original intent. It has become a vestigial accoutrement for anyone wanting to signal a specific type of masculinity. An air of danger without having the requisite knowledge or skills to back their intimidating pose. Or the person who simply wears it because it has now become a fashion statement.

Oh, and don’t forget your fifteen pieces of flair. I mean patches. Always gotta have more patches. What's a plate carrier without patches?

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