My fingers touched the

My fingers touched the black box in front of me, and through a slight coolness, I felt her temperature and heard her heartbeat. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it, but the choking smoke and the cries all around me fill my mind, forcing me to think about her at this ceremony. My father died of illness when I was three years old. Since then, my grandmother has become a kind of sustenance for my father in a subtle way. Remember grandma has a pair of big hands is always so generous and powerful, always can easily peel off my efforts but still difficult to do. Dried fruit. Her palms were dark, with deep lines, the result of long work. But every time her hand covered mine, it magically made me feel strong and warm. It is a feeling of peace, I often miss this peace of mind. Grandma can always tell a variety of unrepeated confuses, jokes, like what "hemp house, red curtains", always make me laugh. When she saw me smile, she laughed back, laughing until her face was wrinkled, laughing until her eyes were narrowed, laughing until she clapped her chest. That's enough laughing. One more. Keep laughing. So my mother often joked that Grandma would bring me up to be a crazy girl. Whenever her laughter into my ears, that simple and honest voice ah, is the world's most real. I often miss this truth. In Grandma's house, no matter what I do, when I look back, I will be able to meet Grandma's eyes, and through these eyes, I can feel inspired and trust. Her eyes had become a little cloudy with the passage of years, but I could always see flashes, as if I saw the kind of flicker of hope. Mother said, I am the hope of grandma's heart, I must study hard, later repay grandma...... That hope is mixed with love, and I often think of this love. A bow is a wish for the dead; Two bows, is respect for the dead; Three bows, is a deep yearning for the dead. At the end of the farewell ceremony, after my third bow, I dared not lift my body or my head again: tears filled my eyes and at last began to pour out; Thoughts filled the heart, the end is for a sigh......Childhood is beautiful, my childhood is cruel. Childhood is meant to be playful and carefree with friends. But I'm not happy at all. My childhood is limited no friends, no happiness, there is only loneliness and loneliness! Every time I look out the window, there are always a few people walking in groups on the way home. I was wondering when I could be one of them. As far as I can remember, I've never spoken to anyone. But one day there was a person in my life who changed my fate that day, I went to school after breakfast, on the way I was hit by a lovely little boy, the little boy hurriedly said sorry, I just smiled and went away. But then my jaw dropped when I found out that he was my mother's sister's child, and then I was even more surprised that he was going to live in my house and I actually said no but I was forced to say yes. I don't like the idea of spending the rest of my life with this guy. My little brother is sociable. He talks to me all the time. I just give him a smile. I clearly remember that it was a sunny morning, I was eating breakfast, little brother ran to me and said: sister, let's go to the playground. I did not speak, the little brother was happy to say not to speak is the default, I was ready to open his mouth but he has to prepare, in order not to hurt his young heart, I did not say anything more. And my little brother went to the playground, he insisted on pester me to ride the Ferris wheel with him, he knew I was afraid of heights ah. I still endure to play with him, the Ferris wheel that called a fear, scared my legs are weak, little brother seems to see what, called me to the side to do for a while. Unconsciously it was dark when my little brother and I went home, he was sleepy and fell asleep on my back, and I had to carry him home to look at my little brother sleeping on my back really sweet in my heart there is actually a sense of satisfaction. I now know that my childhood was happy!