How Guys Can Become Winners

The truth is, learning these things sooner would have helped most guys who learned them too late to save them from unfortunate mistakes.

Life is going to throw you many scenarios, challenges, and curveballs. The more prepared you are, the better you can handle them as they come. Looking back, some of those lessons would have helped more if learned earlier. 

However, it's never too late to win. And that's what you ultimately want to do. Isn't it? 

How Guys Can Win

The first lesson that needs to be learned, and all the subsequent lessons, help guys win. Sure, they can help women, but they're geared towards the male of the species. They are: 

1. Life isn't going to be fair. This is a hard one to wrap our heads around, particularly when our elders tell us from childhood that if you work hard, dedicate yourself, and never give up, you'll succeed. However, there is no guarantee of that. And if you're not born into the right circumstances, it's a longer shot than being born into a wealthy family, a healthy family, or a family that is together. Accept it and don't expect fairness. Life isn't going to be fair. 
2. Don't beg for love or attention. We all want to be loved, and most humans like attention. It makes us feel seen, appreciated, and even needed. However, you can't control other people. You can only control yourself and how you respond to them. So, instead of begging for someone to love you, set boundaries, have standards, and know your worth. If you're not getting what you're worth, it might not be your fault. 
3. Don't expect everyone to be you. What that means is know who you are, but accept that not every person has the same drive, beliefs, standards, or expectations of themselves as you do. Maybe you'll be the best person in the room and elevate others to your level. Or maybe, you'll outgrow people and find your place in the world. However, you have to remember, there are like-minded people, but only one you. 
4. Dealing with chaos. Chaos has surrounded some of us our whole lives. From our youth all the way to retirement, it's always been there. Much like people, you can't control the chaos or all of the circumstances that manifest into chaos. What you can control is your response. Learning to stay calm in chaos will help you to win the day, despite all that chaoticness you were forced to endure. 
5. Don't take things too personally, or personally at all. Somethings are going to be personal. But not everything must be taken that way. A workplace critique might mean you made a mistake, or there is room for improvement. Being told your attitude is bad could tell you if you're having a bad day, or you're being something you wouldn't normally be, the jerk. Whatever it is, how you respond is entirely in your control. 
6. Learn to control your emotions. This is a tough one for some. There's a balance between how you feel about something when you react and how you think about something. As a young professional, I was confronted with an odd situation. A simple question of "What's your address?" turned into a rather detailed, voluntary confession, I wasn't looking for. As a parent and someone who has his beliefs, my emotions boiled over hearing the story of the suspect's crimes. In that moment, as the suspect continued to tell me, "I know you're gonna want to kill me," as he told his tale, he wasn't far from right. I would note that his crimes were being told in a very detailed way that would have gotten the SVU detectives on TV to blow their stacks. However, I kept myself under control and had 23 more years of a career. 
7. Focus on solutions. Problems are always going to come along. Life's complicated like that. By focusing on solutions instead of problems, you can keep a clearer head and get through the challenges more easily and gracefully. 
8. Escape Toxic Influences. At some point, whether it's the office, a relationship, a friend, or a neighbor, we all experience a toxic person. As much as that person could matter to us, it's up to us to recognize they are toxic and walk away. Not everybody who comes into our lives is going to be good for us, our goals, and our beliefs. Walking away is important. 
9. Accept the True Power Inside You. Develop self-confidence and believe in yourself. Always believe in yourself and never be willing to think you can't. That power of self-belief will help you in many ways, like perseverance, through personal growth, and to achieve your goals. 

Remember this quote: 

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? 

 - Andrea Del Sarto

Takeaways

People can suck. Recognizing that, it's up to us how we respond to those in the world. 

We can walk away from the worst of them. Develop thicker skins so that the occasionally judgmental don't get to us. Accept that not everyone is like us, and love them despite their flaws. Or, we can set clear boundaries so that people don't affect our lives in negative ways. 

Depending on who they are, there are options. However, by exercising these ideas, we can still win the day.