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Three views of the same marriage, is the best marriage

by jinzhong 2 months ago in proposal
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Good three views, let us understand the world, but also in a new understanding of themselves

Friends often say three views destroyed, broken integrity. What are those three views? It feels like a very basic question, but maybe someone really can't answer it. Even if the answer comes up, how many people have thought deeply about it, it is estimated that few.

Three views is the outlook on life, values, world view, generally speaking, outlook on life is how people should live in this life, values are people in this life what is the most precious, the world view is how the world is.

Good three views, let us understand the world, but also in a new understanding of themselves.


According to this chart from a report on China's Post-1995 Generation Data, it may surprise many people to see that the three values of harmony topped personality, appearance and economy in the list of what they value most in a partner. But when you think about it, the three values of harmony really matter. And in the future, the three views of disagreement will also become an important killer of marital relationship breakdown.

Is it very different from those of our generation who value family and economic education?

What is the real three views disagreement?

You like reading, he likes to play games, this is not called three views of discord;

But he said what is the use of reading, is not pretend art? Now that's a disagreement.

You like to go to a western restaurant to eat steak, he likes to eat in the food stall string, this is not called three views of disagreement;

But he said that it was too expensive, also not delicious, said you are really affectation, this is three views.

You like to travel around the holiday, he likes to stay at home, this is not three views of disagreement;

But he said that travel has what fun, is not to spend money to suffer, lying at home more comfortable, this is the three view disagreement.


In fact, the three views of the same, does not require that you have exactly the same interests, preferences, way of thinking, but to seek common ground, tolerance, understanding and appreciation of each other.

Otherwise, you share happiness with him, he thinks you are showing off; When you tell him you're upset, he thinks you're being pretentious. Get along with people who are not compatible with three views, more tired than moving bricks, because he will not understand you.

You tell him the sea is beautiful, and he says you don't know how many people have drowned here;

You said to spend 480 to see a play, he said that the money is enough to see 10 movies;

You make up every day, he said you boast; You insist on going to the gym, he says you spend too much money;

You like to buy flowers to decorate the home, he said not to open a few days will be defeated, but also so expensive, why buy it!


What seems logical to you, seems strange to him.

You can hardly change his perception, he will not understand your ideas, you will never be on the same frequency, together with natural tired.

Especially in this matter of spending money, often become three views of the most concentrated contradiction breaking point.

For example, I have a good friend, May Day with her husband to go out to travel. At that time, the travel agency offered two packages, one was 1800 but included shopping, and the other was 3500 pure play.

She WANTS TO CHOOSE 3500 PURE PLAY, BUT HER HUSBAND THINKS SINCE IT IS A destination, of course, choose cheap cost-effective, even if pulled to go shopping, resolutely do not buy it.

However, my good friends think that it is meaningless to have cheap packages, poor food and accommodation, and to be guided by the guide and waste a lot of time on shopping. The couple finally have time to hang out, of course, to enjoy a little.

Finally two people quarreled, not only did not go to travel, but also make a bad part.


There are many such examples in life.

Small to dozens of pieces of coffee, big to hundreds of thousands of cars, too many marriages because of different consumption views.

And in the noise, we forget the original intention, in fact, the original intention is "very", it may be to find a place to relax under the pressure of life and work, may be to find a place to play a romantic couple trip......

But when the original intention is met with three views, the tragedy ended, as time goes by, no one can remember the original intention of this trip, even the original intention of marriage!

Ruby told this story about her mother:

Mother Lin is an elegant person, even downstairs to take out the garbage, always tidy up and dressed neatly. Father Lin is handsome and makes a lot of money.

To outsiders, they were a match made in heaven, but they divorced when Ruby was 12.

"He's very nice," Lin said. "But there's only one piece left. After all, a lifetime is too long."

Lin mother likes to raise flowers, but Lin father is always in the flower pot play ash, throw cigarette butts; Lin's mother loves to clean, but Lin's father does not love to take a bath, clothes thrown; Lin's father is very profitable, but he rarely accompanies Lin's mother.

Later Lin mother met Lin Xinru's stepfather, he will buy beautiful flower POTS for Lin mother's plants, will also take the initiative to wash clothes and clean up the house, but also can accompany Lin mother walk to watch the sunrise, study recipes......

Although it is a very small thing, but in front of the three views of the people became tired, in the eyes of the three views of the same people, it became comfortable.

So, in the beginning, find a person with the same views.

He likes to play games, but he also supports reading books;

He likes to stay at home, but he also likes to hear about your travels.

He likes to hang out and go to food stalls, but he can also walk you into western restaurants.


It is said that love is not the second, long time is not tired is the most important.

Life is really long, money, appearance may only decide whether you can be together, but three views decide whether you are suitable to go on.

Do you feel it?

Wang Kun teacher said: between husband and wife "the same frequency to resonance, communication to heart to heart. Through consistent is at the heart of understanding, tolerance and communication, which is now most lacking in the marriage, we all want to dominate and control each other, but tend to forget that everyone is individual, the more we control, the other the farther the distance we couple quarrel, mutual biting, such problems as the cold war also intensified, finally to fall.

The same view of life, will not because of different lifestyles and turn the home into a battlefield;

If you have the same view of money, you will not have many contradictions because of the money problem.

If you have the same values in life, you will not have nothing to talk about because you have no common language.

With the same view on education, there will be no disagreement in educating children, which will lead to unhappy parents and children!

If you're not married, find someone who is as close to you as possible.

If you are married, but your partner has different views with you, please make efforts to communicate, understand and tolerate, participate in the same learning, grow together, so that our three views are closer.

The best marriage is to share the same direction, and then strive to grow together. So as to be more harmonious and make life better.


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