Should You Sign a Prenup Before Saying I Do?

Before we get started, let me make it clear I'm not an attorney. So, why should you listen to what I have to say? I had a prenuptial agreement when I got married and I am now divorced. Also, despite not being an attorney, I often write articles on this topic that attorneys later slap their names on.

So, with the formalities out of the way, is it a good idea to start your marriage off with a prenuptial agreement? Yes, but how you go about it determines whether it benefits both parties and whether it actually ensures a smooth marriage and a smooth potential divorce.

Prenuptial Agreements Provide a Safety Net

Older generations often disliked prenuptial agreements because they felt like it signalled uncertainty from the very start of the marriage. Couples should enter marriage with optimism and 100% commitment.

This is a very idealistic way of thinking. The truth is that about 40% of marriages end in divorce. While you can account for your own commitment, no one can fully account for their spouses.

Consequently, having a prenuptial agreement provides you with a safety net. It can even extend that safety net to children.

Prenuptial Agreements Are on the Rise

The stigma attached to prenuptial agreements is largely declining over the years. Millennials have a lot to do with this. We tend to marry later in life—after we have already established ourselves.

Not surprisingly, experts name millennials behind the 62% increase in prenuptial agreements. What can we say? We want to protect our things.

Enforceability Varies for Prenups

One of the tricky parts of marriage and divorce is that it ultimately doesn't matter where you get married. Whether you marry in India or the UK or California, the laws of the jurisdiction you divorce in are the only ones that matter.

There's no telling whether you and your spouse will still be in your state or country for the lifetime of your marriage. Consequently, you might run into issues where some jurisdictions accept your prenuptial agreement as-is and some don't.

How you create the prenuptial agreement is also important for the document to stand. Some states require witnesses, notarizing and the presence of independent attorneys for each individual.

Good Prenups Plan Sufficiently for the Future

When you marry as established individuals, planning for the future is a lot easier. This task is incredibly more complex for younger couples who have no idea what their earnings and living arrangements might be in the future.

Couples need to sit down and iron that one out. For example, I knew I didn't want children, but I didn't want to disenfranchise myself or the potential child if I did have one.

So, my prenup included a clause that the birth of a child invalidated the prenup and would prompt immediate renegotiations to account for that child. However, any points we both agreed on would remain intact.

Postnuptial Agreements Are Also a Thing

In the event that my wasband and I needed to re-negotiate for a child, the new agreement would be called a postnuptial agreement. So, if your prenup no longer meets your needs, you can also create a new one—provided that your partner is in agreement.

You can also create a postnuptial agreement if you never had a prenuptial agreement, to begin with. The trick is getting your partner to agree to it, though this could be a problem in either case.

A good approach is to pitch it as a benefit to them and set fair terms that reflect this.

Based on what I now know about family law, I recommend using an attorney that handles both family law and estate planning. This is because prenuptial agreements cover both family relationships and your assets. Working with an attorney who handles both can only be to your benefit.

Good luck with your marriage. May it be happier than mine was!

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