My dream date

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Los Angeles International Airport. Local time is 12:00 pm and the temperature is 22 degrees. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened....’

The final PA announcements started to drown out as the realization that I was finally here came upon me. I was in Los Angeles. City of my dreams. But also the city where he lived. In the last four months, I have been living in Los Angeles. Not in Calgary, Alberta where I was born and raised. I talked to him online before he left for work. He told me every single detail about how he got to work (on his motorcycle), what he wore to work (usually khakis), how he spent forty-five minutes doing his hair (it took me only ten and I have long hair!) and what he had for breakfast (kale and spinach smoothies). Then he would have me with him on his Bluetooth at his workplace and told me little details about his work. He was training to be a director and was currently an intern with Nightlife Studios and I was aspiring to be a screenwriter.

He owned a gorgeous studio apartment on Toluca Hills which he showed to me on his webcam one day. We spent chatting late at night discussing our philosophies on love and life and actual philosophies. This was one thing I loved about him the most, he was passionate about Philosophy, Maths, Physics, Literature, Astronomy, and Software Engineering to name a few complex subjects. Most men that I had dated before were interested in only two things. Money and Sex. Mostly showing off their money so they could have sex with me.

Since we were doing distance dating for the last four months, it had taken the pressure off of things especially when it came to having sex. So far we had talked about getting physical but there was no timeline. We were just trying to get to know each other more and see where things went. But now that I was finally here.....He had not said anything about having sex. But part of me really really wanted to have sex with the one I felt like really could be the one.

I started walking down the aisle with shaky legs. Get a hold of yourself. I admonished myself. But suddenly I was having a lot of doubts. Would he like me? I was not pretty, I could just call myself somewhat attractive. Ughhhh. I hate how breathtaking everyone on my flight was. I was not fair enough, skinny enough, my nose was fat, and I had just the most boring personality on the Planet. And this was the guy who as per his own admission had dated hundreds of girls and was not impressed enough by any of them. I hated this. I should just never leave this plane, I thought as the Air Hostess bids me farewell with her perfect teeth, hairdo, and make-up. And to top it all off, I don’t wear make-up. I don’t know how to, I usually end up looking like a clown.

Now I was cursing myself for never learning how to wear make-up or do my hair properly or choose to wear better-looking clothes. I was wearing jeans (a dress didn’t seem all that convenient on a flight) and a cream colored sweater. There was nothing pretty or cute about the sweater, it was an old sweater that I had worn many times because it was so comfy. Choosing comfort over elegance is going to be my downfall, I reminded myself. My long hair was in a braid which had gotten really rough around the edges during the flight. I was too lazy to do my hair again in the airplane washroom. I cursed myself for the hundredth time. He was gonna be at the visitor’s lounge ready to receive me all polished and crispy and I would look like an Oaf.

The lines at the checkout terminals were taking forever and my dread was mounting with every step. Some of our conversations were replaying in my head.

“You are so pretty without makeup, I have never met any girls who don’t wear makeup. I like your natural looks.”, he had said

“Well...I wear lip gloss and eye pencil, I just make sure it doesn’t show.’, I had informed him. ‘So you are actually more deceptive than the rest.’

‘You can say that I want to look pretty but want people to think it is effortless, I am born with glossy lips’

‘I am okay with your deceptions.’, He had said winking at me ‘Shut up and don’t wink at me.’, I had said blushing.

‘Why not?’

‘Well, I will tell you when we meet in person.’

‘And when would that be?’

‘Right after my finals are done. During Christmas break.’

‘Your family is really conservative, would they let you go out on your own like this?’

‘I will say it is an internship opportunity at a Writers’ Association or something.’

‘During Christmas?’

‘I will figure something out, don’t worry about me. Besides, I want to see Los Angeles. Meeting you is just an added benefit.’

‘I am just so happy to be living in LA then. How did I get so lucky?’

‘Purpose of your visit Miss?’, a question from the customs officer jerked me back to the present.

‘Meeting a few friends, ummm, also fun.’, I answered sheepishly.

‘Welcome to the USA. We hope you enjoy your stay with us.’, he smiled politely and handed me back my passport.

I came out of the Airport walking really slowly and as I opened the main entrance doors, I was welcomed by warm bright sunshine. Coming to plus 22 in Los Angeles from minus 22 in

Calgary was a brilliant change. I was feeling my mood uplifting already and a big smile coming to my face. In a few seconds, I heard my name from my right side.

‘A, is that you? How are you kiddo? I have been waiting forever.’

I look up following the voice and immediately look down. Damn, he was hot. My graduate-level vocabulary could only come up with one adjective. Any other way to describe him would have been unfair. He looked like the rightful citizen of Los Angeles. I had seen his pictures, talked to him on video call but to actually see him in person. He took my breath away.

‘I am fine. How are you?’, I replied after a few minutes in a thin meek voice.

‘It looks like you are quite tired. There is a cafe close by, we can go there and then I will take you up to my apartment so you could freshen up. I will bring my motorcycle up here from the parking lot so you don’t have to walk too much,' he offered.

‘Alright, sounds good.’, I was trying to say as little as possible. My heart was still beating fast from being in such close proximity to him.

He had asked me to bring as little as possible so I was carrying a small backpack. I heard his motorcycle’s engine roar and saw a silver Honda Adventure standing a few inches away from me. His motorcycle and his job were two of his great loves and I was hoping to join the list. I know I was sounding like a desperate loser but he was having that effect on me. I walked up to his motorcycle and he handed me a helmet.

I had never sat on a motorcycle so I was somewhat nervous about it.

‘Don’t worry, just hop on and hold me tight. I won’t let you fall. Breathe and enjoy the ride.’, he said with his usual charm as I tried to get on the motorcycle with the same elegance as I had seen girls get on in most beer commercials and failing miserably. After a few awkward attempts, I finally got on the motorcycle thanking my lucky stars he had his back to me so he couldn’t witness my shameful ascent on his motorcycle.

He kicked the engine and it came to life, he started racing his motorcycle at full speed and I held on to him with dear life, my eyes closed.

‘Okay open your eyes, it is alright. You are not on a roller coaster.’, I heard him say, he must have been looking at me from his rearview mirror, I couldn’t be sure due to his helmet shading his eyes. Mine had his visors off.

‘Yeah you know this is way scarier than a roller coaster’, I said loudly over the sound of the engine.

‘It is not, trust me, I am a very safe driver, enjoy the ride sweetheart.’. he said and my heart skipped a beat over him using the word sweetheart for me.

I tried to keep my eyes open to enjoy the scenery which really was quite fascinating. Beautiful buildings and palm trees were passing us by.

When we got to the Cafe, I was feeling nervous again. I will have to talk to him face to face for real now. At the Airport, it was quite brief and on camera was not the same. I could touch him, he could touch him. God, what if I say something stupid. I had the tendency of saying something stupid when I was nervous.

He opened the door to the restaurant for me, the signage overhead said Cafe Verde in golden and maroon letters. We got to our seats and I looked up to see him, only to find him staring. I looked away and really hoped he would be looking at something else so I could take a good look at his face. I looked up again and no such luck.

‘Can you look at something else please?’

‘Why?’

‘Because it is rude to stare.’

‘No, it is not. It is rude to not stare at someone so pretty.’

‘Shut up, I am not pretty. You are pretty. And hot. If you just stop looking at me for a few seconds then I would get a chance to look at you too.’

‘Okay, I will look at this menu. So you can look at me to your heart’s content.’

He kept his promise and started looking at the menu. I started looking at his face trying to memorize every single one of his features. His eyes were intensely black. With a savage twinkle in them. His nose was straight, a full mouth and the outlines of his face were rigid. He had a five o clock shadow that my hands were just itching to feel. His hair was luscious jet black that shone almost silvery in the sunlight, I never thought a guy could have such brilliant hair.

He looked up again making me blush.

‘You are taking a long time looking at me, are you trying to figure me out or something?’ ‘I am doing no such thing, can we order, I am famished.’

‘Sure thing, I think it’s self-serve so let me go grab everything for you.’

‘It is okay, I will come with you.’ I didn’t want him to pay for my order.

We went to the counter and I got a coffee with a cheese sandwich for myself and he got tea with biscotti. He kept insisting to pay but I reminded him he was only allowed to pay for our date tonight.

‘Speaking of our date, you remember the rules for tonight?’

‘Yes Sir, I sure do. You will leave me at your apartment for a couple of hours so I could change and freshen up and get ready. You will come to pick me up at exactly five and then take me to your favourite restaurant which is a big surprise.’

‘That is absolutely right. And I will be paying for everything and you will not protest.’ ‘I will not protest.’. I smiled my most winning smile making him smile too.

We went back to his apartment. He was a perfect gentleman. He had once told me that he prefers delayed satisfaction over instant gratification. This had become our inside joke about so many things. After showing me around his glamorous apartment, he told me he would be leaving for a couple of hours and would be back around 5:00 pm.

I got to work immediately. I went inside his washroom and took a long bath. Moisturized my whole body as my skin was quite dry and then put up a video on youtube figuring out how to apply make up. After doing a few searches, I finally found a video to my liking where the instructions were straightforward and the final result was a youtuber with a more natural work.

I started following the instructions by the Youtuber and after painstakingly applying, rubbing off, and re-applying the make-up for forty-five minutes, I had the final desired look. The make-up didn’t look so heavy and I was looking elegant for the first time in my life. I thanked God and my mom for giving me good looks and started doing my hair. I was going to put my hair in a braid again and put on a beaded headband as everything else looked too complicated. I was finally ready to put on a branded red dress that had cost me a fortune.

I went inside the walk-in closet and put on my dress and heels. I came out to look at myself in the wall-sized mirror mounted across the bed and almost startled myself at the reflection of the girl staring at me from the mirror. Is it really me? I asked out loud. I was looking like a completely different person. Rather, I was looking like a different version of myself. Someone beautiful, glamorous even. Who could turn heads when she entered a room. I was ecstatic with the final result.

I looked at the clock and it was almost five o clock. I started to get nervous again so to calm the nerves, I went to his kitchen and started looking in his cabinets to find something to drink. I found a bottle of half-full Leonetti Merlot 2015. I found a box labeled Bright Cellars and remembered him telling me he usually orders wines from them. I thought of looking at the selection inside but then changed my mind thinking I should not pry.

I took out a wine glass and poured myself some merlot coming down all inky from the bottle. The intense aroma of red currant and orange zest hit my nostrils making me thirsty for the wine. As I brought the glass closer to my lips, I smelled the floral notes intricate yet light reminding me of spring. I started drinking the wine and the wine saturates the palate with dense blue and black fruits. I immediately started to feel immensely happy and keep on drinking this wonderful merlot. Before I knew it, I was going for a second only stopping short for the doorbell was ringing.

I quickly grabbed a napkin and cleaned my lips. I put the wine away in the cabinet and the glass in the sink. I grabbed my purse and ran to the door trying to get a hold of myself. I opened the door quickly not wanting to keep him waiting for too long and there he was. Wearing a navy blue dinner suit, he looked dashing. Dashing and hot. He looked at me and whistled.

‘Can I give you a hug?’, he asked me politely.

‘Ummm okay yes you may.’, I said after a moment’s hesitation. He hugged me tight and I felt like I was going to die with pleasure.

But then he didn’t stop with a hug. He was moving his face closer to mine and lifting me up a little bit. I wanted to resist but I felt as if all of my senses were telling me to let go. I let him come close. His face was inches away from me and then he lifted up my face and started kissing me. Hungrily, ravenously, intensely. I felt myself melting into him, becoming one with him. Who knew such a cliched kiss would feel so amazing.

We stopped kissing after a long time. I felt I didn’t want to let go. I felt I wanted to kiss him until I died. I looked at him and got pulled into him again like a magnet. This time I was the one kissing him hard. Biting his lips and tongue.

‘We will be late for our reservation, A’, I told him pulling myself apart.

‘You are right. Besides, we have the whole night doing more of this.’, he winked at me making my heart flutter like always.

In the car, he told me that the hotel was located in a small island in the middle of the beach. We got to the island in a small boat, the boat ride becoming so romantic in the full moon. I was sitting close to him and we started discussing our favourite philosophers- Nietzsche, Sartre, Kierkegaard, Al-Ghazali. It felt like all those nights when we were up late having similar conversations during our messenger chats. Except this was much better, I could do this with him my entire life.

We finally got to the Island. The whole Island was decorated with artificial lights and the trees were all lit with a thousand bulbs giving everything a Christmas-y feeling. We were greeted by our hosts and then led to what the signs said ‘the world’s biggest underwater restaurant’. I was so excited upon hearing that as I remembered telling him I had wanted to visit an underwater restaurant in the Maldives.

We started going down the stairs and I found out at the beginning of the stairs the glass they had used to build the restaurant which was quite sturdy and thick to withstand the pressure of the Ocean. There were glass panes showing all the marine life along the boundaries of the stairs.

As we descended down we started to witness the water level going up until we were completely submerged. We finally arrived at the small restaurant and it was shaped like a dome made out of glass-reinforced with steel arches. They were playing “Hymn for the Weekend” by Coldplay as we entered the restaurant, our favorite band. This night could not be more perfect.

We took our assigned seats. Candlelight in the middle of the table. I kept looking up as the water felt like it was going to break the curved roof and soon we will be in a scene of Titanic. A brushed my hands trying to reassure me that it was alright.

Pretty soon, the waitress showed up with the menu. We asked for a few minutes and resumed our conversation from the boat. I was feeling so much at home with him. Even during our first conversation, I had felt that I had known him forever. And now that we were together, I knew that we were meant to be.

We started with Realm the Tempest and ordered our food. I had the Chicken Marsala whereas he ordered Butter Chicken. Food was scrumptious, wine was delightful and our conversations were flowing effortlessly. After the main course, we requested to see the dessert menu and shared White Chocolate Cheesecake.

It was time to go home and my nervousness returned. I was supposed to stay with him in his apartment tonight against my better judgment and return to Calgary after the weekend was over. I had never stayed with a guy before and didn’t know what to expect.

We got into the rental car and we got back to his apartment. Back in his place, he asked me if I would like some coffee and I said yes. He asked if I felt like staying up and watching a movie with him. I said yes to that too and we agreed to watch Blue Jay.

I cannot remember when I started crying while watching the movie. It was only when my husband Z came to the room and sat close to me smiling that I was watching and crying for the millionth time at the same movie, that was when I realized I was doing that.

“You and your sad movies and your wine A. You promised you would stop drinking so much wine.’

‘I promise this is only the first bottle and it is still half full. This is my last glass, I will go to bed after this.’

‘And please stop watching the same movie over and over again. It is depressing. You are with the love of your life, why get so sad over such sad movies. Be happy.’

‘I am very happy darling. This is a beautiful story, that is all.’, I told my husband as he was leaving the door.

Even after fourteen years being married to Z and becoming a mother of three beautiful children, I cannot stop dreaming about my dream date. I never met A. Never had my dream date with him. We had an argument after a few online conversations causing us to break up. And still. The man I have never met. Ended up becoming the love of my life. My heartbreak. I dream about our first date in a hundred different ways. We have our first date in so many different countries, our first kiss in so many different cities. I wear a different outfit in each version, he drives a different car in each version. The only constant in each version is the intensity of my feelings I have for him.

As Pablo Neruda said:

Love is so short, forgetting is so long