Dana: “It was never my intention to become active on dating site Second Love and look for a lover. But I just didn't know what else to do. My husband hasn't had sex in years. We just don't make love anymore. But I can't turn off my need, so I kept trying with Edward. That made the sex so charged that it really stood between us. I became frustrated and insecure and Edward felt like he was failing and lacking as a partner. But he can't help it either. He just had and has hardly any need for sex. Not with me and not with anyone else. That may have always been the case, but I didn't really notice it at the beginning of our relationship."
“Edward and I met in our student days, at a party of mutual friends. We got talking and it clicked right away. That is why we exchanged e-mail addresses and then had intensive contact. That was so nice that we soon agreed. We both found the first real date exciting, but it immediately felt good and when he slept over for the first time a few weeks later, sparks flew. Maybe right after that my alarm bells should have gone off. We didn't study in the same city, so we often traveled to each other on weekends. Then it sometimes happened that we didn't have sex all weekend. And that while we were just together and still very much in love. As the weekend progressed, I became more and more restless, because nothing had happened yet. When I was on the train back to my student room on Sunday, I thought I was going crazy. I wanted him and sex so much! But if we did it again the next time, I would forget my frustration in no time. Then I would sing and shine for a week and my housemates kept asking what was wrong with me. Love is apparently truly blind.” FOR NICE LOVER CLICK HERE
“Because things went really well between us, we decided to move in together immediately after our studies and Edward soon asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! Because we both wanted young children, we immediately decided to go for children. In six years we had three daughters. During that period, our sex life was at a low ebb. The pregnancies, having a young family and my busy job swallowed me up, making my needs fade into the background. We still did, but very sporadically. As the girls got older and went to school one by one, we got some more time for ourselves. I hoped our sex life would pick up again, but it didn't. Nothing happened at all. Not for years actually.
Of course I started to doubt myself. Was I no longer attractive? Did I sometimes want weird things in bed? Did I want too much? Since Edward was my first true love, I had no basis for comparison. Maybe everyone's sex life ended after a few years of marriage. I didn't talk about it with friends either. I thought sex was private, something between me and Edward. For a while I thought it would be better if we split up. Sex is an essential part of a relationship. What were we if we didn't have sex? But I realized that a divorce is not what I want. I love Edward. We have a lot of fun, got our motorcycle license together and enjoy riding together. Besides, I adore him as the father of our children. A break would mean
that it would all fall away. We went to couples therapy, but Edward's need didn't come back because of that either. In the end we decided: we don't do it anymore. Since we said that, things are getting better between us. The pressure is off. Edward dares to hug me again, because he knows I'm not
immediately demand more from him. And as a result, he no longer feels like a failure.”
Also read: Ellen: 'My husband and I haven't had sex for ten years, and that's okay'
“Shortly after our decision I told Edward that I would then look elsewhere for my salvation. Edward agreed. He knew I needed it and also knew I would never want to divorce him. Although I had his approval, it still felt strange. Just opening Second Love's website made me feel guilty at first. I was brought up quite conservatively, in a Zeeland village. Sex is part of marriage, it has always been imprinted on me. So I couldn't do what I did. It wasn't allowed, it wasn't. Still, I eventually signed up because I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life sexless. That registration turned out to be quite complicated, because I didn't want our girls to accidentally enter the site or see what I was doing. So I had to make sure the site couldn't end up in the browser history and I created a different email address. In this way I make sure that they are not confronted with my escapades at home. LOVER LOVER