Getting Engaged during Covid-19

Elsie and I met one day in September of 2019. She was a teacher at the bible school I was attending. After some time, it became clear to a few of our friends that we might make a good couple. The reason: Both Elsie and I had a very strong desire to see the gospel reach the nations, and could not withhold ourselves from everyday acts of service and kindness to all those in our current community. 

Not only that, but we both loved being out-doors at all costs (even in freezing cold), teaching the bible, discipling. We wanted to give our lives as gifts for the world (because that is the least anyone can do with the gift of life in missions). 

When one friend in particular approached both of us, separately, about the thought of taking the other on a date (first Elsie was asked, then me, a few days later), we both denied it. We felt the exact same: we wanted to build a friendship before dating. It turned out, however, that we were shy toward one another. 

It was not until just before Covid-19 shut down our campus, that Elsie and I got to talking. I was, and am very social, but looking in her blue eyes made me melt. We had a few conversations as the campus closed down (along with most other universities across the U.S.), and then we were sent home due to Covid complications. We kept the talking going, though. The reason for staying in touch was first "work-related" for her. By the very same friend who tried to match us up, she was asked to keep tabs on every student who was driving home. Of all the students: I had the most dangerous drive, and had planned to stop in various strange locations to camp, and avoid hotels.

The drive would be daunting, because I had, unfortunately, wrecked my truck on icy Montana roads only months before leaving. My 2004 Ford Ranger survived a roll, but the starter would not engage, and the replacement part was not in stock before needing to leave campus. I was also missing a rear window, and could not use my windshield wipers. If that was not bad enough, my lights were all attached with tape. My truck would drive, but the trouble was getting it started: the only way was to bump-start it from a hill.

I drove from northern Montana, to central CA, and Elsie kept tabs on me the whole time, because it was her “job”. She would text me funny things, which made the odd, loud, and cold drive much better. It came naturally for me to send her pictures of the sights I saw on the way home: Sights of the northern-U.S. snowy winter turn to the appearance of spring, as I traveled south.

I had planned to make a few stops on my way back, but quickly became very miserable. I stayed the first night (10 degrees F) at a desert campsite in Nevada. I had to park my truck on a hill so I could start it the next day. I slept under a blanket of frost, and the next day my truck did not start. Turns out, I had parked just beneath a hump, and I could not roll heavy thing past the incline by myself. I was alone in Nevada desert, but not helpless. I hiked through the desert until I found a dying tree, then brought it back and leveraged my truck over the hump… Then… I ran and jumped inside - my truck nearly escaped me, but I got inside. I roll-started my truck, and made my way straight home. Elsie never found out about the mishap, but only ever heard I was making some fantastic adventures of my way home (which was true in my mind). 

Once home, I stayed at my church for a long while. I served as a security guard for them, which allowed lodging, and I was grateful we could serve each other. It was extra work though, on top of working full time to cover a mortgage which my renters could not pay during Covid. Most days, I became very tired from balancing a masters-level course (writing more than 50 pages a week at the height of it) with odd jobs, and a very strange living situation; but I was never discouraged. Elsie championed me every step of the way.

She had not stopped talking with me once she knew I was home, but instead we began to video chat with each other within my first weeks of arriving at home. We texted a bit each day, sharing friendly encouragements and funny videos, and made a habit of talking on the phone or video chatting once a week. After about two months of this, I decided I was falling for her. I was certain of it. Perhaps it was the distance that put her on my mind, or maybe it was finally discovering all the things she was capable of, or how wonderful of friend she was. I do not know. What I do know: I found myself longing to talk with her each week, and later found out she felt the same. 

It was the 16th of May, 2020 that I put my feelings out there, but circumstances did not provide for a long conversation, only moments. We tried to talk more on the 20th, but there were power-outages where Elsie lived, which caused her internet to go down. By the 22nd of May, Elsie and I had been given more than enough time on our own to conclude we liked each other. We talked for a long time that night, and decided to build our friendship even more, and try to meet in person as soon as possible.

By the time my birthday rolled around, I had come down with shingles from all the stress of school, and mainly the work I was forced to do on the side. Elsie was scheduled to teach in Taiwan that July, but due to Covid, her flights were canceled. Almost immediately, she booked a flight out to visit between July 8th, and the 16th. She told me on my birthday that she would be coming, and it was the very best birthday present I could have ever received.

I made it through my time of shingles, graduated with good grades, and before I knew it: I was driving to the airport in my ugly truck to pick up the most beautiful woman I had ever met (in body and heart alike). I took the entire time off work, and it was midsummer in central California. We spent every day on little adventures -up mountains and by streams under the hot mid-summer sun.

The very first night she was there, she had traveled for nine hours, and still had the joyful heart to say yes when I asked her to go on our very first date. I took her to an overlook above a lake, and we at Mexican food. The stars glittered on the water, and we talked so much. On our way down, I could not withhold telling her how beautiful I saw her to be. Elsie was more beautiful than the little vista, and the vast star-scape.

“You’re more beautiful than all those stars,” I said clumsily, “…Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes!” She giggled, and we embraced each other in a very special hug. 

I kissed her forehead, and spun her, which made her very happy. We drove back and when I dropped her off. Under the small California night sky, we had our first dance. There was no music, and it was in the dusty parking lot of a church guest house in the mountains. We would have looked into each other’s eyes, but it was too dark to do so. So I dipped her, and we laughed.

I drove home to where I stayed, and felt like I was in a very good dream. It had been the most surreal day of my entire life. I did wake up, but it was the next day, after sleeping so very well.

As mentioned, the entire time Elsie visited my home-town was filled with small adventures. We spent nights with good friends, and days getting to know each other. The very last moments of that time came slowly, not like you might expect (time does not always buzz by, when it is spent so very intentionally). 

Though the end of our visit had come slowly, it had come indeed. I drove the beautiful girl, in my ugly truck, back to the airport. She began to cry as we waited, and I wished we had not arrived so early. I had thought of the perfect solution on the way, however.

“Elsie?” I asked her, and looked into her big sad eyes.

“What is it?” She sniffled out…

I asked her to dance with me, in the airport parking lot, and we listened to music by Andrea Bocelli. In the 110 F. heat, we danced, and she cried on my shoulder. I held my tears in, because I did not want to give her more sorrow. I wanted her to remember my smile, not my tears.

The time had come, and I brought her to the entrance of the airport. We had another very long hug, and said very good things, hopeful things. And She walked away. That was when I cried: It was in the wave goodbye, but she could not see it through the window of my truck. It was July 16th, the day Elsie left. I thought, perhaps if I were lucky, I could see her one more week at the end of summer. Other than that, neither of us had a plan or time in our busy schedules to see each other for another year, but felt it worth the wait.

It was during that time that I was invited to train for a pioneering project, from the Youth With A Mission base in Montana, where Elsie lived. The only conflict: I had a prior commitment in January 2021, which would be a six month long contract. I said yes, anyways, because it was only July - soon to be August.

I had put my house up for sale, because the expense was dragging me down. I didn't want to stay and make the American dream, because it seemed to be a very claustrophobic dream. I worked very hard to make the sale happen as quickly as possible. I worked construction and landscaping in the hot summer, renovated my little home, and closed escrow on August 8th - the day I left.

I had my life packed in my ugly truck, and began the drive (with a few more working parts) from California to Montana. On the 10th, I started my “job” training to be a bible teaching missionary. It is the same day I was able to see Elsie again. 

We spent the quarter of a year getting to know each other even better, and had precious in-person time. We became each other’s best friends, and celebrated victories, and mourned losses of the other. Covid restrictions from position on base did not allow for us to eat out, so we often spent time outside and it wasn’t so bad.

We both fell deeper in love, as we watched how the other interacted with the world. In our time off (pretty much only Sundays), we went huckleberry picking and paddle-boarding under the Montana summer sky. And when it got colder, we took up skating, and hiking in the snow (which I would recommend doing in snowshoes, by the way). 

By thanksgiving, Covid had come to campus. There was an outbreak, and Elsie and I spent the holiday very sick, alone in isolation, and away from our friends. The weeks that followed: we volunteered all our spare time to help the campus run, deliver meals, and help students put in their best efforts until Christmas.

By the time Christmas break had come, we were desperately ready for a break. I anticipated meeting Elsie’s family in person. We still had not met, because they lived in Canada, and neither were they permitted to travel to the U.S, nor were we permitted to travel to Canada. Elsie, being a dual citizen, could have entered the country, but they would not let me in without filing for an extended family exemption to authorize travel.

We applied for the exemption long before our break started, and were certain we would get it. We listed the only valid reason for travel exemption: “Wanting to get married, and needing to have the family blessing first,” and it was true enough. Ideally, we would have spent more time as a dating couple, but we were forced to list that as our reason for travel. Once it was written, we decided it was what we really did want, not just an excuse to cross the border.

The day before break began, we were denied entrance into Canada without reason. We were devastated. We tried everything, and lost our break to the effort. Still, we were not permitted, and were not given an immigration phone number to call. Therefore, we had no way to reason with immigration. We were only given an email address that they "might reply to".

We did everything in our power to show the Canadian that are reasons for visiting Canada were valid, and necessary, only to have no one hear our reasons. We were left to face our circumstances, and to grieve the loss of the Christmas break with its hopes and dreams that could have been. Our break was spent toiling over the process, and Christmas day was spent apart from Elsie’s immediate family. Her extended family was kind enough to put us up, but we were still very disheartened. Her family remarked at how lovely we would be together in marriage, and while it was a great kindness and confirmation: the words reminded us that we could not do so without her immediate family's blessing.

By the middle of our break, we had a choice: Elsie could have gone to see her parents on her own, but did not want to spend the rest of her break without me. She chose to stay, and no one has ever made a choice like that for me. We put in one final application for the exemption to travel on the Wednesday before break was over (that made four applications in total). 

Break ended too soon. We were thrust back into work, both taking point on projects, and off to a much busier start than the quarter before. After two whole weeks of hearing nothing from the application, we got a random email on a Monday morning. Our application had been approved. We were in complete shock, and disbelief.

Our supervisor was very much on our side, and understood complications with Canadian government. She understood our break had been robbed, and said we needed to go, immediately. We left for a late “Christmas break”, and arrived that night. The guy at the border almost turned us away, but I looked him square in the eyes, and said, “I need you to let me through to talk to this girl’s family about her hand in marriage. I have the ring in my bag, and I'm dying to talk to her father.” 

I would not have wanted to say something like that, and blow the secret for the sweet girl standing at my side… After all, we were only mostly sure of those things. But I was not left any choice. 

He looked at us with kind eyes and said, “I’ll kill the suspense right now. You’re getting in,” and we did.

Due to Canadian restrictions (Covid protocol), we were forced to stay in the country for 15 days, but it was a joy to do so. I finally got to meet Elsie’s family, and though we all had to work during the days, we spent every evening together playing games, and talking. We watched only one movie during the entire stay, and also went to various places to skate, ice-fish, and other icy-northern activities.

After the first week, we were able to talk with her parents. It was Saturday morning, and we all gathered awkwardly into their lovely living room. No one spoke. No one knew what to say, but everyone knew what was coming. After a few moments, we began to tell them we’d like to be in missions.

We told them we’d been invited to help lead a pioneering project (planting a School of Biblical Studies in Yosemite), and how we wanted to go on from there into overseas missions… We told them all the details that would imply a life together, and had their wonderful support.

Then it became silent… I told them I loved Elsie very much. Looking back and forth to them, I told them I had never met another woman like her, and that I would very much like to marry her. They gave us their blessing. 

I planned loosely with her parents about how and where to propose (I had brought the ring), and we had two outings that weekend. Both of them were to some of the most beautiful sights the cold Canadian Rockies could offer. On the second outing I proposed, and Elsie said yes. 

It was a very cold day, and cloudy. Though it was not perfect: I knew that nothing would have mattered more to Elsie than to have her parents be present for the proposal. It was the standard we had set, and is exactly what I made happen. I made sure she could be with her family for that very special day, and we celebrated together afterward.

That is our story, from that time to this. Thank you for all who have supported me. the journey has only begun, and it could not have happened without all who support us. I raise a glass with high hopes that the gospel will go out, as Elsie and I have the privilege of sharing each other as gifts for the world.

Our first act as an engaged couple: Accepting an invitation to teach in South America - February 2021

Wedding date: TBA (perhaps this May, if restrictions allow)

First commissioned project: Pioneering a bible school in California - Fall, 2021

Next project: Pioneer a bible school overseas, and live as missionaries