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why it is weird for a young man to have sugarmummy

Relationships

By Duke Nyangena Published 2 years ago 2 min read

On a Friday night, the club was buzzing with energy — the music blaring, neon lights flickering, and young partygoers dancing to the beat. Amid the crowd, a young man, David, was spotted with a woman who appeared much older than him. They sat together at a table, drinking beer and sharing laughter. It was clear they were enjoying each other’s company, but their presence didn’t go unnoticed. People around them began to whisper and exchange curious glances. Some wondered about the nature of their relationship: Was she his relative, a mentor, or perhaps something more? The idea that she might be a "sugar mommy" quickly became the most popular theory.

In many societies, relationships where an older woman is romantically involved with a younger man are still viewed as unusual or unconventional. The sight of David and the older woman stirred speculation, rooted in traditional views on age and relationship dynamics. It is more commonly accepted for older men to date younger women, while relationships between older women and younger men tend to face more scrutiny. This stems from deeply ingrained social norms that dictate how romantic partnerships should look.

People at the club likely assumed that David's relationship with the woman was based on financial or material gain. There is a pervasive belief that in such dynamics, the younger party is after something — money, gifts, or status. The older woman, on the other hand, is often assumed to be seeking youthfulness, validation, or companionship in exchange for her wealth or generosity. These assumptions can overshadow the possibility that the relationship is built on genuine connection, mutual respect, or shared interests.

The reaction of the clubgoers reflects the biases and double standards that exist in society. Relationships where older men date younger women are generally seen as acceptable, even when the age gap is significant. These men are often praised for their success or charm, while the women are considered fortunate. In contrast, when the roles are reversed, and an older woman is involved with a younger man, the relationship is often viewed with suspicion. People may label the woman as desperate or controlling, and the man as opportunistic or lacking independence.

David and his companion likely faced such judgment because their relationship didn’t conform to traditional expectations. Many would have assumed that the older woman was in control, financially supporting David, while he benefited from her generosity. This view is rooted in traditional gender roles, where men are expected to be the primary providers, and women are seen as the caregivers. An older woman who takes on the role of a provider disrupts these norms, making people uncomfortable and quick to judge.

However, relationships don’t always fit into neat categories. David and the older woman could have a deep emotional connection, enjoying each other’s company for reasons beyond financial support or social status. Just because their relationship challenges traditional expectations doesn’t make it any less valid or meaningful.

The judgment they faced reflects the social discomfort with relationships that deviate from the norm. Over time, societal views on relationships evolve, and the hope is that more unconventional dynamics, like older women dating younger men, will be met with less judgment and more acceptance.

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    Written by Duke Nyangena