The Ultimate Secret-Santa Gift Buying Guide - Office Edition

Alright everyone, it's time to get your game faces on - we're headed into a most difficult season... Secret Santa Season.

*Shudders*

Social protocol demands that we be on our best behaviour this time of year, which means we're going to need three things;

1. A practiced and convincing fake-smile
2. Patience (or a generous serve of egg-nog), and
3. The perfect gift, because I'll be damned if I end up on the receiving end of number 1.

Below you will find a beginners guide to the Secret-Santa Season - Office Edition. This handy-dandy little list is decked-out with recommendations for budgets both small and large, as well as tips for satisfying all potential Secret-Santa pulls, ranging from your office best-friend, to the the one and only - Boss.

Let's start out with an easy pull;

The Office Coffee Fanatic

"I should really get one of those" is what the designated coffee-junkie says to you every-time you walk in with a keep-a-cup. They can't quite kick their caffeine habit, and worst of all - they buy take-away three times a day. Help them curb their environmental impact by gifting them a keep-a-cup - I hear Starbucks has some pretty great designs this time of year, and some stores even give discounts for people who bring their own cup - it's the gift that keeps giving!

If you have a little extra to spend this year, it might be worth slipping in a gift-voucher for the coffee-lovers favourite café. They'll be sure to think of you every-time they take a sip of that sweet sweet liquid, or at the very least, until their voucher is all used up.

The Office Cutie

Drawing your work-crush for Secret Santa is a thrilling experience, but unless you're a venture-capitalist, these high-risk high-reward kind of scenarios might be unfamiliar to you. If your heart is racing at the thought of it, fear not! There is an easy solution.

Netflix (and chill)

Okay look. I'm not advocating for workplace debauchery, but I'm also not denying the enigmatic pull the holiday period can have on our heart-strings. A Netflix subscription (or a movie-pass, if you'd rather play it old-school) sends a subtle hint to your office cutie, and expertly toes the delicate line between suggestibility and plausible deniability.

The Office Couple

Every office has one - you know, that obnoxious couple who can't seem to keep their hands off of each other? And if it's not their hands, it's their eyes, and every time you get caught in the cross-hairs of their gooey looks you feel like you need to take a shower.

While it might be easiest to simply consult their other-half for gift ideas, you could instead take this opportunity to send them a hint. Let them know how you feel about the PDA with a handy-set of smudge free lipsticks - Mecca sells them in packs of the best-selling colours, and did I mention they're smudge-free?

The Office Meta-Verse Junkie

Frank's been telling you about his healthy crypto wallet for years now. He tried to tell you about NFT's last year, but your mind drifted to chihuahua's in tiaras - a worthy image - but after the announcement of Facebook switching to 'Meta' you wish that you had listened. It's time to get back into Frank's good books, and you can make a start by using his referral code to sign up to a crypto-wallet, like he's been asking you to do since 2019.

If you want to take it one step further, gift him a stack of his favourite alt-coins (Enjin, Cardano, and Polkadot are very popular at the moment!), or a portion of one of his favourite front runners, such as Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solano.

The Office Swifty

It's the most beautiful time of the year. No - not Christmas - Spotify Wrapped time! No-doubt you've seen all of your colleagues recaps on Instagram, and you can bet your best dollar that any of your friends who had Taylor Swift as their number one artist will be familiar with her new short film 'All Too Well'. It's a modern classic.

Give them a nice surprise by gifting them a replica of the original scarf mentioned in the song, but beware - it holds many connotations...

I left my scarf there at your sisters house, and you still got it in your draw even now - All Too Well by Taylor Swift

The Office Enemy

We've all got one... the office enemy. Maybe it's the co-worker who speaks over you during meetings - or maybe it's the team-leader who drifts a little too long as they pass by, scanning your work for errors to point out.

Do you have someone in mind?

Now, it serves to be diplomatic - given that your enemy is relatively benign. It's best to keep your career avenues open, so don't go burning any bridges with a Lynx Deodorant set of Boxer shorts... a box of chocolates aught to do the trick.

Or socks. You can never have enough socks.

The Office Bestie

If you've been paired up with your bestie, it is of paramount importance that you don't ruin the fun of Secret-Santa by breaking-bank on an overly indulgent gift. You don't want to turn everyone else's gifts turn to shame - so go with something small and sentimental, like a framed picture of their dog wearing a Santa hat, or a box of their favourite chocolates.

The Office 'Scent Bringers'

I call them 'scent bringers' because this gift happens to be perfect for anyone who might fall on the 'scented-spectrum' - weather that means they come to work smelling fresh as a daisy, or if they rock up to the building smelling more like a pile of dirty socks - I have the perfect gift for both parties.

To those who love to smell their best, and to those who could use a little help, Lush Gift Sets are the perfect solution. They range anywhere from $15 to $300, and come in both feminine and masculine designs. You can also find similar sets at most popular beauty-stores, so keep your eyes peeled for some good deals coming into Christmas time!

The Boss

Eek. Drawing the Boss as your Secret-Santa gives new meaning to the term 'Boss Battle'.

Oh the pressure.

You might feel inclined to break the spending limit with the hopes of gaining clout with the boss - but you might find that it achieves the opposite, so stick to that limit, and gain that clout through another route. If your boss is the cheesy kind, you can't go wrong with a 'worlds greatest boss' mug. Truly, those things are a hit every time. You might even like to embellish with a thank-you card, signed by every-one from the office.

That aught a get the warm-and-fuzzy's going.

At the end of the day, Secret-Santa is supposed to be fun,

While it can be stressful, it is also a clever way to avoid the social confusion and etiquette mis-steps that can occur during the gifting-period. So whoever you've been paired-up with, remember to stick to the rules, and get creative with that spend-limit!

If you're completely at a loss, don't let the holiday stress sweep you away - even generic gifts like chocolates and gift-cards can be absolute winners, so spike that egg-nog with a large helping of gratitude this gift-giving season, and don't forget to take a moment to think of yourself.

Happy holidays!