The Tale Of The Empty Boat

The Empty Boat

One day, a monk left the monastery behind and ventured on a solo meditation mission.

In the middle of the lake, he moors his boat, closes his eyes, and starts to meditate. He had been in peace for a few hours when suddenly, he felt the bump of another boat hitting his.

The monk feels his anger rising even though his eyes are still closed. His serenity shatters; the quietude is destroyed. When he opens them, he is ready to scream at the boatman for bothering him while meditating. But when he opens his eyes, he sees that it's just an empty boat that had floated to the middle of the lake after becoming loose.

At that moment, the monk realises a profound truth - the boat was empty, and so was the source of his anger.

From that point on, whenever the monk encountered someone who offended or angered him, he would say to himself, "The other person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me."

The mirror of modern life

This narrative of the monk serves as a powerful testament to the truth that our reactions to life's disturbances mirror our internal state.

Like the monk in his boat, we frequently encounter "empty boats" in today's fast-paced world, whether it's a rush-hour traffic jam, a burst pipe, siblings fighting, a missed deadline, or heated debates on social media.

These everyday events are not personal attacks, but our internal reactions could make us feel that way, just like the empty boat didn't intentionally try to disturb the monk. Fortunately, just like the monk, we can decide how to react.

Change your mental narrative

"Every thought we think is creating our future." - Louise Hay, renowned motivational author and speaker.

Suppose you want to embrace your own peaceful monk state. In that case, cognitive reframing is an effective method for changing how we feel about things, which can help us deal with negative emotions like rage and inner turmoil. Instead of trying to ignore or downplay unpleasant feelings, this strategy seeks to find positive ways to deal with them.

For instance, rather than saying, "I can't handle this," tell yourself, "This is challenging, but I can work through it."

Luckily, there are a few easy ways to incorporate cognitive reframing into your everyday life.

Some people find that writing down their thoughts in a journal helps them see patterns of negative thinking, which can be a foundation for intentionally changing their thoughts.

Others believe that recognising and combating automatic negative thoughts is beneficial. Consider this question when you're angry or upset: "Is there a more positive way to view this situation?" You can divert your thoughts from negativity with this straightforward inquiry.

Similarly, perspective-taking practice can also be a useful cognitive reframing technique. To do this, try to put yourself in another person's shoes and think about the issue from their perspective. This lessens the intensity of your emotions while expanding your comprehension.

These tactics, and many others, when practised over time, foster a mentality that is not only strong enough to weather storms of wrath and turbulence but also thrives in them, transforming them into opportunities for growth.

Accept where you are now

The power of acceptance, is a profound catalyst for transformation, offering a path to inner peace, resilience, and growth amidst life's inevitable fluctuations.

It's the art of letting go of the struggle against the unchangeable and, instead, yielding to the reality of the present moment. Contrary to common misconceptions, acceptance isn't synonymous with defeat or complacency. Rather, it's a recognition of the current state of affairs that empowers us to move forward with wisdom and grace.

After all, by recognising and making peace with the aspects of our lives that are beyond our control, we free ourselves from the chains of resistance, redirecting our energy towards more constructive endeavours. 

But to do this, we need to come to terms with and accept our current situation in life honestly and objectively. This acceptance enables us to acknowledge and confront the true nature of the issue. 

So the next time you are stewing with anger about your job, accept the anger but also acknowledge the obstacles that are in your way to job and career satisfaction. Refusing to acknowledge reality, such as your poor time-keeping, lack of qualification, or an unsuitable environment, hinders the ability to resolve issues and can potentially result in more severe repercussions, such as more years of professional discontentment.

"Acceptance doesn't mean you agree with, condone, or give up. It simply means you stop fighting reality." - Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior (1980)

Managing your inner storm is a process, but implementing these strategies, along with seeking professional help, can significantly improve how you feel and respond to stress and anger. 

Remember, you're not alone; with the right tools and support, you can find your way through the storm.