The Real Lesson of a Frugal Challenge

Time to take our fingers off our pulse and start living

During these interesting times we are trying to cope as well as we can. Sometimes this means spending more than we usually would on unwholesome coping strategies.

Nearing the end of 2020, when I am taking stock of my expenses, I realised an uncomfortable truth: all expenditures had sneakily risen to an unprecedented level – my groceries, my electricity, my internet data, my alcohol. Everything.

What am I doing to myself?

My first instinct was to cut down and cut back on all expenses. And I was immediately met with opposition so bruising I ended up with higher bills and higher living costs. December was my worst month of the year!

It was like I had to prove to myself that I was allowed to buy ice cream in bulk when I do not usually indulge in deserts.

I am not a hoarder. It was a sub-conscious act!

After all the partying expenses for New Year (and not a day sooner) I sat myself down for a hard conversation about what I want to do with myself. I know me very well, I am no good with gentle reprisals and I ignore encouraging self-praise.

I concluded I needed a step-by-step action plan to ween myself off my most expensive time-wasting luxuries. I needed a tabula rasa – a blank slate – where my financial health was concerned. And so began my research into frugal living.

I have always thought frugal living was for our depression-era ancestors

Not our generation. Why grow vegetables when I am not financially pressed into it? Why buy second hand when I can easily afford new, fashionable clothing? And so on.

My first steps into my research was met with a discovery of a ‘land of no.’ I am familiar with this territory, but let me tell you how our minds represent the ‘land’ we find ourselves in. We can be so overwhelmed by this barren illusion we become defensive. And that is the land of no. And there is a profound, double meaning here:

The first meaning is we convince ourselves we cannot live without a thing. We literally cannot imagine life without it.

The second meaning is when we tell ourselves no when we try to fill the place we are trying to change.

For example: we have told ourselves we cannot spend money on concert tickets (for reasons beyond our control), yet we are so focused on missing a concert we tell ourselves we cannot do anything worthwhile in the meantime. We would only think of doing something that would keep ourselves passive while time flew by.

When I addressed the issue of my groceries I toyed with the idea of growing some vegetables. A simple step like a tomato plant in a pot. But, I told myself ‘no,’ because I live in a flat. No garden area whatsoever.

No room for a tomato plant in a pot, and no backyard soil must mean no vegetables. But, further research into this broad topic and I teach myself some alternatives, like the basics of hydroponics.

There are herbs that grow in water – I just need to re-purpose my jam jars. I never thought of herbs before. My mind was saying ‘no’ to everything that the idea of herbs did not crop up (pun intended!).

When I learned more about hydroponics, I did not think I wanted to commit to it wholeheartedly but my mind began to open up to more, different, possibilities. I have a car-port with no car. More than enough space to put a bag of soil to grow potatoes in. A plain bin bag is the only ‘container’ I need.

But, still my mind is conjuring up all these reasons I should not do any of it. I might be robbed. I have no idea who would jump a fence to harvest someone else potatoes, and yet I thought I had this problem for at least half a week!

Coming out of a the land of no is to challenge yourself on why you cannot do a thing, and then teaching yourself to look for alternatives. Otherwise you will believe that you cannot do anything to change, will not attempt change, or (sub-consciously) make it so difficult for yourself that you give up and keep doing what you have always done.

The trick is not to buy anything, right now, for all the projects you want to start. If you cannot change overnight, then you need to work methodically and very, very slowly.

Adjust to the new normal

I am taking this approach when I deal with my groceries, my electricity, my internet, everything … except my alcohol consumption.

Alcohol can be a different challenge altogether, and I needed to quit the booze cold turkey. Previous lessons have taught me that I do not cut back effectively enough when it comes to having alcohol in the house. I am not an alcoholic. I get bored. And if I am challenging myself in other ways then I know me well enough to know I could develop into an alcoholic while I cope with other stressors – like cutting myself off from the internet.

To start slowly, in the first week of January I turned the internet off for two hours every day. Believe it or not I felt frozen. Denied internet put me in the land of no territory as though I could not even pick up a real book. But, I persevered through this first-world problem, and in the second week of January I would not turn the internet on until after lunch (shutting down when I went to bed), and then I went my first weekend without any internet connection at all.

I ached, terribly, to look up information I had to know right now, to re-watch a favourite movie, or to keep it connected in case my brother wanted to video-call (when I knew he was busy in his own life).

A perfect time to drink, if I had allowed myself!

Now, nearing the end of January, I do not feel the same levels of separation anxiety, nor am I wanting to spend as much time on the internet. I came out of the land of no and realised what I could do, other than read a book, is concentrate on knitting, on writing, go for a walk (I am lucky to be allowed out in my area). And so on.

Going for a walk was a good challenge for my land of no because I am still used to the messages that I cannot leave my house. Restrictions ended months ago for my state (Tasmania, Australia). Even the airports had re-opened in time for Christmas.

Yet, I was not leaving the house except for necessary grocery shopping. I refused a friend’s barbeque because I forgot how to say yes.

So, I decided to ditch the car and walked in the direct opposite of the shops. And I found out I was close to a beautiful park I had not visited before 2021. I saved on petrol, impulse buying at the shops, and feel a bit healthier.

In February, with my savings, I might return to my favourite restaurant for a steak and veg meal. Or, I might return to the cinema, especially as I am not streaming movies so much.

I need to think of ways to saying ‘yes’ to getting out of the house. I might even go to a museum. Why not?

I have approached other financial areas of my life with similar tactics. I think of all the reasons why I cannot do something and list all the reasons why I can. Then go out of my way to find more reasons for why I can do what I want/need to do with my financial life.

I am still gathering all the information I need to assess where my changed lifestyle has affected my finances. It is an ongoing process.

But, so far so good!

I appreciate those still in lock-down are coping as well you can

I cannot tell you what you can and cannot do with your own money when you might have lost your job, or work has become all that you know. No doubt isolation and depression are the ushers in your land of no.

Try to remember something you had wanted to do before the world came to an abrupt halt. And brainstorm your way to finding the smallest changes you can make for yourself and your environment.

If you cannot indulge in it while the virus is still a threat, at the very least you have prepared to begin your project the first day you are free – which is more than I ever did for myself.

If you find this difficult then try this as a thought exercise: it is not you with the problem, it is a friend, or family, or a work colleague who has come to you with a particular land of no problem.

What would you say to sympathise? Who would you quote, or use as a role model? And how would you advise them to start saying yes to life?

I would like to leave my top tips

..and websites (#unsponsored) I have learned about in this past month so that anyone might pick and chose what is best for yourselves:

Tip #1: Search Facebook Groups for niche financial advice. Guaranteed these people will answer your questions and will have done a lot of research for you. Some love to brag, so listen!

Tip #2: Find out what your public library can do for you – find out what they can do online if the brick and mortar is currently closed. eBooks and audiobooks might be available if physical books are not.

Tip #3: Group your streaming platforms by price and choose to stream one at a time. You will find that many platforms have similar movies and TV shows. For example: In Australia, Netflix is similar to Stan is similar to Amazon Prime and are all similar in price. I do not want to stick to one because I will miss out on a unique show that is only on one platform. So, I rotate my membership on a monthly basis. January for Netflix, February for Stan, March for Amazon Prime. And, repeat and so on.

Do the same for other 'similar but different' products you pay for.

Tips # 4-5

Super Cook - takes the ingredients you have and suggests recipes. Highly recommended if you think 'I have nothing to eat,' when the fridge is full.

Budget Bytes - shows you the cheapest recipes, and because it breaks down the true cost of every recipe you can teach yourself how to properly budget your groceries.

Tip #7: If you can, locally search for your local goodwill/second hand/charity shops. Maybe you can find something to sell on eBay?

I wish you all the best in the near future. Please leave a gold coin donation, or ❤ for appreciation. Thank you.