The power of...

18JUL2021; 0055, SUN

1.) Goodbye/Bye

“Goodbye, nice to know you!” -Incubus; Morning View (2001). That album was quite literally an integral aspect of the soundtrack to my life during my formative high school years.

Even still, something never quite sat right with me regarding the refrain of the opening track (“Nice to Know You”). I'm not sure if it was prior to or after my initial submergence into that instant classic of an LP; but I distinctly remember a friend of the family, who happens to be in the first responder community, informing me explicitly that he doesn't allow his friends or fam to bid him farewell with a “Bye/Goodbye”.

If memory serves me right, his reasoning was similar to that of military radio conduct. In a nutshell: We say “Over” after brief transmissions, and the infamous “Over and out” only when we want to end the conversation completely.

Healthy alternatives: “Peace and Love”; “Farewell for now”; and “Take care.”

2.) “You” Statements

So technically this one is a fragment of a sentence. However, there is a host of problematic challenges that can arise from favoring this particular sentence structure.

The way that my recollection has the matter, statements that begin with the word “You” more often than not, invoke feelings of offense and animosity. I'd dare to wager (if I were a betting man) that many a round of “fisticuffs” could've been avoided with this one piece of advice in mind.

Healthy alternatives: “I feel” statements (followed up with actual feelings rather than opinions); empathy; and genuine inquiry (“How can we fix your tardiness?” Instead of, “You were late yet again!”).

3.) Things/Stuff

If someone asks you what's your favorite aspect of your relationship and/or significant other, “Things and stuff” is unequivocally the wrong answer; just so there's no misconception. Seriously though, according to my high school English teacher, those are two of the most mediocre words that every four year old can flail without a worry, essentially.

This particular piece of advice may be a bit more challenging for the majority of the USA; which reportedly refuses to pick up books after graduation. Point being: If you have a decent vocabulary, flaunt it from time to time.

Healthy alternatives: “I have important *matters* on my agenda”; contraptions; items; and/or situations.

4.) Good/Great

Another mediocre couple of words that can be tricky, with the likelihood of causing extreme levels of miscommunication. Long story short: the same educator who instilled in me a disdain for the immediately previous couple of placeholders (Things/Stuff), taught me to view using the aforementioned adjectives loosely, as a dire detriment.

Of course there are exceptions to the rule (Good & evil). However, the key is to have the vocabulary shine a bit here also.

In addition, it's imperative to prevent the reciprocal (exceptions transforming into the rule) from inadvertently becoming the fact of the matter too.

Healthy alternatives: "Decent"; "excellent"; and "regal".

5.) Should/Should've/Shouldn't

Arguably saved the best for last. According to Dr. David D. Burns’ 1989 publication, “The Feeling Good Handbook”: “‘Should’ often represents unrealistic expectations”; and it can easily lead to a “Shouldy” life (ibid).

Funny enough this particular root word is likely responsible for more falling out of relationships than any other in the English language. Of course, when paired with the previously mentioned “You” statements, their destructive force is largely unrivaled!

As the adage goes, “When you assume, ya make an ass out of you and me.” By and by, this is another factor with strong ties to semantics; as evidenced in the immediately to follow advising.

Healthy alternatives: Ought to; could've; would've.

Tl;dr- Like the extremely wise and intriguingly intelligent Dr. Jordan Peterson advised in his second book, “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to the Chaos”, “Be precise in your speech” (Rule #10).

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Edit: This "Story"was originally typed up and rejected many moons ago; before the "Community" titled "FYI" was added to this damn near perfect site. I have slightly edited it just now with the intent to resubmit and prayerfully get my very 1st "Top Story"; "We tryna get chose!"- Bun B in '07.

In any event, I have one more classic film to potentially watch tonight and most def another long day ahead tomorrow. More power to any and all who've made it this far.

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Prayerfully, someone somewhere gets something pertinent (re: useful) from this post. If that somebody's you, then please think about considering a Like/Tip/Share, and/or checking out some of my other posts.

TIA (Thx In Advance). Peaceful Tidings.

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