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The Beauty of a Round Hat

And the (over)simplification of decluttering

By Kennedy FarrPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
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Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

There is a Lithuanian proverb that says: "For every head, a hat." Henry David Thoreau wrote: "Live your life, do your work, then take your hat." And Philip Treacy sums it up really well: "Hats are about emotion. It is all about how it makes you feel." And to sum up my own philosophy: “There is beauty in a round hat.”

Philip Treacy's hats, like life, are best enjoyed when you feel comfy and confident in how you wear them. And the beauty of a round hat? No matter which way you pick it up – you can plop it on your head without checking for a tag first. You have 360 degrees of options as to how you want to wear it. There is more than one way to wear it, and it still fits.

When was the last time you wore a hat?

Have we become a hatless society? I remember a friend telling me that the only time she felt brave enough to wear hat or loud, colored tights "in public" is on Halloween. I asked her why and she said, "Well, I don't want anyone looking at me like I am weird or something."

I, being a wearer of hats and loud tights, was surprised by her answer. Gayle is really outgoing and socially forward. Me? I am not a flamboyant person, and I do not think of myself as being gregarious. In fact, I am an ambivert at best and an introvert at heart.

Still, I have never thought in terms of me being weird for donning my Smokey the Bear hat while wearing polka-dot tights. I wear these items because they are fun and because they remind me of who I wanted to be when I grew up. I would never think of these accessories as being a grab for attention. It’s just how I like to put things together and how I like to show up in the world. They are the additives that describe how I am feeling that day.

The Great Hat Purge

I was putting some clothes away in my closet and wondered when I had last worn some of my hats. As they were taking up an inordinate amount of space on my closet shelves, I surprised myself by deciding to do some minimizing in this category of my wardrobe. Having just read a great article by my favorite minimizing guru Josh Becker and feeling inspired, I decided to release some of the emotions that I had been attaching to my collection and free up some space – not only in my closet but in my psyche.

After an hour of feeling a combination of inspiration, remorse, and decision fatigue, I had minimized my weird hat collection to just a select few: my faithful Smokey the Bear hat, a few brightly colored berets, a Minnesota Twins baseball cap, a felted wool cowboy hat that is all lumpy from too much rain reshaping it, and a few others that are more functional than fashionable. I kept nothing that was over the top, nothing super weird . . . just some standards: a woolen cap with ear flaps, a black angora beanie, a loden green newsboy cap, a straw sunhat – hats that anyone would be comfortable out in public wearing, even Gayle.

The vintage hats with the plumes, ribbons, and netting were donated to a theatre department’s props box and many of the handknitted wool hats that had either lost their shape or appeal were donated to the humane society to the kitten department. And as seemingly traumatic as this migration of hats felt to be at the time, I still feel like myself . . . even without the obtusely long stocking hat that I couldn’t figure out how to quit knitting or the vintage black pillbox with the smart feather and hat pin that was the perfect head covering to wear to a funeral.

After all, our stuff doesn't define us. Or does it?

It Can Be a Visceral Experience

People call it decluttering, minimizing, organizing, regifting, rehoming . . . whatever word we choose to use, it takes some grit to part with pieces from the past that carry meaning to our present self. These pieces represent memories that store the secrets of who we once were and might still be. I can look at pictures of myself from even two year ago and think, “Damn girl! I can’t believe you wore that out in public. Maybe Gayle knows something that I don’t?!”

We know that our stuff is all just . . . well, stuff, but we also know that there is some “memory staining” that occurs on a molecular level. As if the past moments have touched an item and left an imprint that we find difficult to say goodbye to. I get this. I am not what one would call a major hoarder, but I have my share of weird and wacky items that still define me in my life as it is now.

Is it as easy as 1-2-3?

For those of us who experience this same strong emotional attachment to an item, I see three, and only three, options for us:

1. Get rid of it. Don’t look back. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Do not allow yourself to experience regret. It’s only a thing. Let it go. Rehome it, sell it, donate it, or throw it away. Remove your rearview mirror. Do a memory wipe.

2. Take a picture of it and store it virtually. Some people say that this works for them in the decluttering process, as it allows them to “re-live the moment” by looking at the photo . . . but I think that taking the photo only leads to me having a more cluttered mind than from when I started.

Picture snapped, I now have to think about how disorganized my photos are. The thought of taking on the task of sorting and organizing my photo collection into virtual folders with titles that make sense is something that my brain just won’t allow. It would take me until 2023 (maybe even 2024) before you would see me emerging from the archives. No, thank you. I’ll stick with options #1 and #3.

3. Surrender to the item and keep it. Like my Smokey hat, some things won’t leave the premises. Even if I put this hat in a sealed box in the garage, I can visualize it rolling back into the house and back onto the closet shelf as I sleep. This is called “surrender to the flow” in some people’s books. I just call it realistic persistence. These are the things that will not be separated from your life. (I wonder if Stephen King has written anything along these lines?)

Decluttering: Is it really this simple?

It’s rare that things in life are this binary:

1) get rid of it

2) keep it

Just like one of my round hats, it’s not very complicated. No matter what you decide, know that you made the right decision in the right moment for the right item. Life can be hard enough without you beating yourself up later, simply because you donated some jeans that will never ever fit again or because you threw out three ratty bras (after cutting the straps in half as to not hurt any wildlife).

Some Good Advice That You Shouldn’t Take

I know that all of this organizing and decluttering is not easy.

One piece of advice that I can lend to anyone who is struggling with decluttering:

There is no good advice when it comes to dismantling or reorganizing your life.

There are websites, podcasts, videos, articles, books, and (don’t forget) family members who have all of the answers to you living a minimalistic and organized lifestyle. There is the oversimplification of the “10 Easy Steps to Declutter Your Closet” or “The 3 Questions to Ask Yourself as you De-Junk Your Stuff” or “5 Ways to Tell You Have a Hoarding Problem.”

Your personal possessions, like a game of Jenga, have been carefully procured and curated over the years. Don't go all judge-y on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't let your proclivity to declutter or to amass define you.

Breaking It Down into Bits and Dabs

I do know that once I start to minimize, I always feel better – after I have ripped off the band-aid. It’s the “getting started” and the “actual decluttering” parts that are the most demanding. Even the “removing it from sight” part can prove to be tricky. But afterward, when I see my closet shelves looking airy and clean instead of cluttered with hats, I feel good. I feel like I did something for myself.

Life's decluttering, hoarding, organizing, categorizing, and curating makes for a lively event, and I’m going to show up for it with one of Treacy’s hats: “It is all about how it makes you feel."

Wearing a round hat never hurt anyone. Not even Gayle. You can't get it wrong. Once you plop it on your head, you are good to go. There is no right way and there is no wrong way. No need to look in your rearview mirror to see if anyone is watching or making a comment or ignoring or judging you. Trust your intuition. You can do this . . . your way.

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About the Creator

Kennedy Farr

Kennedy Farr is a daily diarist, a lifelong learner, a dog lover, an educator, a tree lover, & a true believer that the best way to travel inward is to write with your feet: Take the leap of faith. Put both feet forward. Just jump. Believe.

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