It's on my mind , I promise

I mean the storyis in my head. i wrote about it when I had a chance ,but then I don't have the energy for it. I wish I did . i really have the motivation ,but I haven't yet. I dream about the book and how it will soar and make millions. I know it would sound great in between my hands and fingers,but I don't have the desiere for it. I know and I am afriad God will give it to someone else that will do it and I hate that phrase and that if that happens . I don't want that to happen ,but I'm emotionally exhausted when I am doing everyhting at once.

1. i have a business and I'm taking care of it on my own. I do not have any other help ,but my own and I also get ideas working upon that as well. It doesn't sound healthy that I am suffering like that ,but I am trying to make it ,but it's nerve wrecking. May God help me along my journey

2. I don't care if Allah gives to someone else ,but I am already struggling trying to hold down the business ,but then again I thought it was the devil just saying that . I reached within my heart and I ask God can He hold that for me . I know He knows that I see the vision ,but I want the damn book to make fucking sense if He wants me to write it . Along with what is going on now to be honest. I feel that should happen and that should be fair, eh? Yeah.

3. i'm just not ready to do so and I hate where it's like life is short. We fucking get it ,but if He keeps giving me the ideas to pull through it , then what else should I do. I thought aobut make a team ,but then again.... that means I have to do more and do I wanna do that? Maybe so. However, I also don't because this is what I don't wanna do is share with just anybody cause people steal . So that's out the question.

4. Again it's on my mind, I'm just not ready for the things because I need real life articles , real things where it takes time to read it and to match with what I want and say. Without that, again, none of that would make any snese to be honest with you. I feel that would be great to do so. I also do not know where to start ,but I am going to do my best , God willing.

I can name so much of what Iw anted to do and how to do it ,but like I said it's been that hard to combine them ideas right now because ( well in addition) i'm triyng to make sure I get the right news too because some of it is alot of propaganda and do I want to place that within that ? No. Also it has been on my mind. It may sound like an excuse ,but has it really? No it's not. I just think I am not just ready yet ,but I will soon enough and it will aall make sense soon enough. May God bless me and my work and that I make it because I really need it.

I guess I also say for you is that take your time as well. Don't feel like God is rushing you and just do your best. Please atleast do your best in making it happen. You got the ideas and just start the drafts and just do it. I'm talking to myself as well and May God bless you and me on our journey in writing that book.