I Asked ChatGPT How To Earn $1000 Online. It Was Hilarious.

Y’all… fair warning. I have a weird sense of humor.

Probably because I’m Canadian. When you live where there’s snow half the year, and it’s hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk the other half, maybe a person can’t help being a bit off the beaten track.

Anyway.

Unless you’ve recently crawled out from under a rock, you know the internet is full of “make money” and “side hustle” articles.

I’ve been self employed most of my adult life. Know what I do? I make people money. I don’t sell internet marketing courses. I just DO marketing. Last email series I wrote did 30K the first weekend. That’s what I do.

Plus, I have side gigs. I sell design bundles, photos and fonts. I’m working on adding tutorials for some of the things people suck at that I’m good at. It’s a lot. But, you know…winter half the year. :)

So when I see “side gig” advice, I can’t help but do this…

It is absolutely possible to make a decent income online. But most of the advice out there? lol.

You know what would be rude?

It would be rude to point at some of the posts I see here and critique them.

lol. I’d love to. But it would be rude.

So I asked ChatGPT instead.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are things ChatGPT does really well if you use it as a tool, not a way to cheat the writing process. Last week I wrote about how helpful it can be for people who suck at writing titles.

But otherwise? ChatGPT is kind of like talking to The Borg.

It’s hive mind. Gobbles up information from the internet and spits it back at you in words a fifth grader can understand.

So rather than pointing a finger at some of the dumb posts I’ve seen. I asked ChatGPT for the “easiest” ways to earn $1000 per month online.

These should sound familiar… :)

First I asked ChatGPT for the “easiest” ways to make 1000/month online. Then I asked for details…

1. Participate in online surveys!

I asked ChatGPT how much they pay. The answer? Fifty cents to $5. Which means if you find the $5 ones, you only need to do TWO HUNDRED of them. At 50 cents, you’d need to do 2000 surveys. 66 every day. lol.

MY OPINION: LMAO

2. Online tutoring at sites like Chegg or TutorMe

Again, I asked what it pays. On average $18/hour. If you have qualifications. Which means you’d need to do 55 hours of coaching to earn $1000. Course, qualifications might be the sticky part.

MY OPINION: Maybe for teachers who get paid crap?

3. Freelancing on Upwork or Fiverr…

ChatGPT says the average order is $50. That’s only 20 orders. Omg! That seemed totally doable, so I had another question for our little hive minded friend. What percentage of sellers are making $1000???

Yikes? Half the TOP SELLERS earn over $1000? Somehow, that sounds way less likely now. Which is not to say you can’t make money on Fiverr or Upwork. But maybe it’s not so easy?

MY OPINION: Dubious

4. Affiliate marketing…

Affiliate marketing is a feasible way to earn money. Problem is most people do it badly. I see it in my book review pub. People cobble together a 2 min. read from text nabbed from Amazon and GoodReads and throw in affiliate links. Then I have to go delete that garbage. Statistically, 5% of affiliates make 95% of the money. I manage the affiliate program for one of my clients and 4% of our affiliates make 96% of the money. One guy makes over $10K month. The rest? Pfft. They do it badly.

MY OPINION: Totally possible but most people screw it up.

5. Sell stuff you don’t need on ebay, etc

You guys, wtf? Who earns$1000 selling the crap you don’t need anymore? lol. Trust me, if I yoink the junk I don’t want anymore, no one else wants it either. Maybe this advice is for people who have a Lambo in the garage and spent too much on cocaine this month? Wtf.

MY OPINION: lol, who has pricey stuff they don’t want?

#6. Monetize content on youtube or twitch…

Omg, wtf ? 1–3 cents per view? Can anyone do math? That means you need 33K — 100K views to make a grand. I mean, maybe if you have a real cute 5 year old who can open toys on video every day. Exploiting kids on youtube seems to pay well. But otherwise?

MY OPINION: OnlyFans prob. pays better for video. #snark #sorry

7. Get hired as a virtual assistant…

When I asked ChatGPT where to find work, it blinked like an internet marketer when you ask the hard questions about conversion rates. After a couple minutes of blinking, it gave an error. I tried again. Same result.

MY OPINION: PS, this isn’t a side gig. It’s a j.o.b. Just saying…

8. Dropshipping — and a real answer at last!

Finally, a real answer. Success rate depends on lots of factors. The niche, the quality of goods, and (wait for it) — your marketing accumen.

MY OPINION: Truth. At last.

In conclusion: making money is simple, not easy

I am living, breathing proof a person can make a living online. I’ve done it for over 20 years. Most of my adult life.

But those articles with “easy” tips? It’s not easy. They’re playing you.

It’s simple, not easy. Figure out what you want to sell. Learn how to build an audience. Learn how to get views. Learn how to craft an opt in that makes people want to hear from you. Learn how to send emails people open.

The end result is worth it. My commute is real short. From the kitchen to the office. Usually in bare feet and bed head. Totally worth it.

But the starting point is to stop confusing simple and easy.

They’re not the same.